Writing the Miguel Cabrera DUI story in 2 minutes


Writing the Miguel Cabrera DUI story in 2 minutes

By Mary Paoletti

"You guys write in the paper 'alcoholic,' that's not right," Miguel Cabrera said. "I don't know how to explain, but it's not an alcohol problem."

Detroit's first baseman said this last spring.

Less than a year later, Cabrera's back in the news talking about drinking. And by 'talking about', I mean getting arrested for.

At least he looks happy?

Alas, it seems Miggy tried to kick the habit and it kicked him in the nuts instead. The DUI arrest was made on Wednesday in St. Lucie County, Florida.

Since we've seen this with Cabrera all before, the easiest way to get a handle the new situation is to take the March 2010 story and edit a few things. It would look something like this (Additions are in red. Obviously.) :

By The Associated Press

LAKELAND, Fla. Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera wants to clear a few things up....

First, hes not done drinking alcohol. And hes not an alcoholic.

You guys write in the paper alcoholic, thats not right, the Detroit first baseman said.... I dont know how to explain, but its not an alcohol problem.

The 27-year-old Cabrera spent much of not this winter undergoing counseling. He said he has not quit drinking and doesnt misses it "Like whoa."

First youve got to think about yourself. First you help yourself and then you can help everybody. And that's when you remember how much you love booze, so you have a drink. Then you have 37 more.

Having discussed his rehabilitation with reporters in Detroit last January, Cabrera arrived at spring training...hoping to resume a career that appeared briefly to be in jeopardy apparently isn't as much fun as getting wasted.

I was comfortable talking about everything because I think you cant hide it. Someday its (going to come out), he said. "Like on February 16, 2011, when I got pulled over and answered the cop's questions by swigging scotch. That's one of those times, when I slur at policemen to F off, when being drunk will be hard to hide."

Manager Jim Leyland has been used to be impressed with his cleanup hitters decision to confront the matter publicly. That was, of course, before Miggy got busted again.

He took on a challenge that he needed to take on. Thats a sign of maturity, Leyland said. "Pulling the 'Don't you know who I am?!' card after an arrest, though? That's not mature. It's really immature and it pisses me off. Seriously. What the hell."

"Its part of life to be a man and dont try to hide something if its broken." Cabrera said. "Right now, my Land Rover is broken. And my big leg bone might be, too, where the cops had to drive knee spikes into my thigh. So, that kind of hurts."

He did want to make it clear that he is not an alcoholic.

Its what you guys call it, its what you guys say. I dont have a problem with you guys saying that. Mostly because it's true. he said.