Boston Celtics

Who violated Ryan Fitzpatrick?


Who violated Ryan Fitzpatrick?

By Justin Aucoin

Perhaps you havent heard, but the New England Patriots violated Buffalo Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick on Sunday or so he says.

I felt like I was getting pinched and poked and prodded. I dunno, but I felt like I was violated a little bit.

Cue Dan Patrick (and the rest of us) giggling like a little school boy. Great follow up question by Dan afterwards, so the video is worth a watch.

Rumor has it Fitzpatrick was seen filing charges after the game.

And, pulling one from the Montreal police, Buffalos finest rounded up the usual New England suspects to interrogate.

But who violated Fitzpatrick? We stole -- correction -- copied, the Buffalo Police Departments investigation notes.

Suspects name: Albert Haynesworth
Height: 6-6 Weight: 350 pounds
Motive: After being ridiculed for being lazy and a locker room cancer, Haynesworth is looking to prove to himself, his family and the NFL that hes more than just a chronic planker.
Police investigation results: We were sure we had our man from the start. A guy whos been criticized and ridiculed almost every game since he entered the league surely would be frustrated that he and his team were being run over by a bunch of chumps from Buffalo we mean, future Super Bowl champs. Sadly we also noticed that the New England Patriots had filed for a missing persons report earlier that week.

Suspects name: Wes Welker
Height: 5-9 Weight: 185 pounds
Motive: Being awesome.
Police investigation results: Our initial findings were promising. Mr. Welker had 217 receiving yards on 16 catches against Buffalo. These stats surely point to Mr. Welker violating Mr. Fitzpatrick. Alas, after DNA testing our investigation concludes that Mr. Welker was merely violating the entire Buffalo defensive team and not the victim in question. Also, we couldnt catch Welker if we saddled up a cheetah. Were pretty sure hes a mutant of some kind.

Suspects name: Zdeno Chara
Height: 6-9 Weight: 255 pounds
Motive: Being tall or so says Montreal
Police investigation results: Frankly, we never thought Mr. Chara was the one who violated Mr. Fitzpatrick but the Montreal police insisted that we do a thorough investigation of Mr. Chara anyways. Our results, however, will not please our friends up north has Mr. Chara was too busy getting ready to violate the Canadiens again to have anything to do with the crime in question. Habs fans will have to go back to crying to themselves once more.

Suspects name: Logan Mankins
Height: 6-4 Weight: 310 pounds
Motive: Being big and mean with a bushy beard
Police investigation results: Our fourth suspect had to be it we thought. Mr. Mankins is big. Hes mean. Hes a big, mean ol bully. And no one with a fu mang chu mustache can be trusted! Or so we thought. When we investigated into the whereabouts of Mr. Mankins during the fourth quarter we found out that there were several reports from residents in Buffalo that Mr. Mankins was on a rampage, destroying the city. We did write him a ticket for destroying Mr. Fitzpatricks car, though.

Suspects name: Pat the Patriot
Height: 65 Weight: 200 pounds
Motive: Rebel rousing
Police investigation results: Surely Pat the Patriot couldnt have been the criminal! Hes a beloved mascot. He represents the team! But our investigation shows Mr. Patriot had no alibi at the time of the violation and he had plenty of motive. His team was on the brink of losing! He had to do something.

We also found some very incriminating evidence of Mr. Patriot:

"We knew we had our man!

Pat the Patriot was shortly thereafter arrested and charged with violating a quarterback. His hearing is in two weeks.

BST Podcast: How will Kyrie Irving fit into Celtics' system?


BST Podcast: How will Kyrie Irving fit into Celtics' system?

A. Sherrod Blakely and Kyle Draper break down how Kyrie Irving will fit in Boston’s system and how much Isaiah Thomas’ contract impacted the Celtics to trade him at the 11-minute, 47-seconds mark.

Here are the rest of the minutes.

1:19 - Michael Holley, Kyle Draper, and Kayce Smith discuss the blockbuster trade that sent Isaiah Thomas, Jae Crowder, Ante Zizic, and Nets 1st round pick for Kyrie Irving and debate if it was the right move to make for the Celtics.

7:08 - Mike Gorman joins by phone to give his opinion on the trade, if the Celtics are in a better position now, and if he has any concerns with the deal.

16:54 - Chris Forsberg joins BST to compare the Celtics and the Cavaliers rosters now that they have completed this blockbuster trade. 

Jackie Bradley Jr. to get MRI after hurting thumb on slide

Jackie Bradley Jr. to get MRI after hurting thumb on slide

CLEVELAND — Jackie Bradley Jr. will head back to Boston on Wednesday morning for an MRI after he hurt his left thumb sliding into home plate in Tuesday’s 9-1 win over the Indians. X-Rays taken after Bradley was removed from the game at Progressive Field were negative.

Bradley was racing home in the seventh inning and went into a feet-first slide angled to the outside of the plate when he hit his hand awkwardly on the ground. Catcher Yan Gomes didn’t get the tag down in time.

“I’m not worried about it, no,” said Bradley, who will return to Cleveland later Wednesday, but is not expected to play right away. “Right now, it feels alright. I guess, as good it can be kind of after the injury. But, I feel like I’ll be alright.”

Bradley, who earlier in the game hit his 14th home run of the season, decided to change his slide at the last minute.

“As I was coming around third, a few steps before home plate I wanted to slide headfirst because I could control it,” Bradley said. “I wasn’t going to slide anywhere near him. I was going to slide headfirst and just have my hand just kind of reach around. But as I was approaching I kind of could see him gather it. He started coming to kind of block off the plate, so I kind of had to redirect my slide. 

“I actually slid feet first, but I also slid to the outside part of the plate, tried to avoid the tag and then slapped my hand at the back of the plate. And as I slapped the back of the plate, his glove kind of got me in the forearm, and my thumb got caught with the ground and kind of bent in all directions I guess.”

Sox manager John Farrell wasn’t pleased with the lane Gomes allowed Bradley.

But it’s hard to see what Gomes did wrong, by the rules, which state “it shall not be considered a violation of [the rule] if the catcher blocks the pathway of the runner in a legitimate attempt to field the throw.”

Gomes didn’t end up fully blocking the base line and he made what looked like a normal effort to get the ball where it was thrown. 

The initial safe call was challenged by the Indians and was upheld. Farrell was going to ask the umpires to look at a different aspect had the call been overturned

“He’s got to give a lane, didn’t feel like there was a lane being given at all,” Farrell said. “He had to reach back and unfortunately it puts him in a position where the thumb is exposed.”

Can't rush Carson

Carson Smith isn’t going to be rushed back because of Matt Barnes’ trip to the disabled list. Smith may pitch with just one day of rest in between Triple-A Pawtucket rehab outings this week, but he’s not in a position to race back after so much time missed.