Welcome to hockey, bandwagoners!

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Welcome to hockey, bandwagoners!

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

Boston.com did a little post about all the bandwagon fans watching the Bruins now and many people are grabbing their pitchforks and Bobby Orr replica sticks and chasing off these fair weather fans.

Here at Wicked Good Sports we believe in helping our fellow manwoman and decided to put together a handy little guide for all you bandwagon fans out there!

First of all, welcome to hockey!

As you can see, the fieldcourtdiamond is covered in ice! Brrrrrrrrr! It is chilly! Grab those sweatshirts before you get to the game, youll need em!

Out of the four major sports, hockey is the only one that does not use a ball. Hockey is played with a puck which is a circular piece of rubber that is fired at the goalies head, often at speeds approaching 100 mph. SCARY!

Dont worry though! There is very little chance youll be hit with one of these.

As a bandwagon fan, were sure youre probably already buying tickets to the first game of the Eastern Conference Finals, but youll need to do more!

Just to be sure everyone knows you are a bandwagon fan, you should probably run down to the Bruins Pro Shop and pick up a shirt andor jersey.

If you are a girl, you should definitely go for the Lucic jersey! All the ladies and Bruins pink hats LOVE Lucic because hes super handsome and used to love to use his hands to pummel people in the face before he started using his hands to score.

Easy ladies. We meant score goals. Settle down.

If youre a guy, youll probably want to pick up a Tyler Seguin shirt! He was drafted second overall and is super duper awesome!

Side note: Just so you can impress the hardcore fans sitting next to you, make sure to excessively talk about how awesome Tyler Seguin has been so far this post season. Talk about his awesome suit and how you can tell hes really studying the game when hes not on the ice!

Youre going to hear several rumors about Tim Thomas loving cheeseburgers, but we assure you he is not the founder of Wendys and is vicariously not a ghost goalie. Tim Thomas is waaaaaaaaay different from Dave Thomas.

If the Bruins are down in a game and just cant seem to score, make sure to talk constantly about how they wouldnt have this problem if they still had Phil Kessel. People will have zero idea that you are a bandwagon fan.

If the Bruins have the puck on the power play, and we admit this is a big "if", makes sure to constantly yell SHOOOOOOOOOOOT! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! at the top of your lungs. Even if a Bruin has the puck behind the net or if taking a shot from where the player is will result in a -4.67 chance of the puck making it anywhere near the net.

Then when they dont shoot, take about how every player on the team is a bum and theyll never make it anywhere. Youll fit right in!

If you want to seem really smart, do what a lot of people do at the game and call a friend during overtime and say no one scored in the third quarter so now the Bruins are trying to get a basket before the other team. Youll seem really knowledgeable and everyone will think youre a super fan!

Even though it is your first game and you have never heard about hockey before two days ago, remember to talk about how much you love Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito and Ray Bourque. Recall stories your dad told you about the first time he saw Orr throw a hail mary pass down the field in overtime or that one time Ray Bourque took his shirt off at Espositos retirement night and gave him a Chippendale's style dance.

Wacky hockey players!

When pronouncing the players names, whenever Lucic is on the ice make sure to say Loo-chick or Loo-chich despite the fact that Lucic has come out and told people his name is pronounced Loo-cheech.

Also make sure to say Tyler Say-gwen and David Kry-Chee.

If it is a one goal game late in the third, make sure to loudly complain about the fact that no one is getting in a fight and that this is lame. I mean, you didnt come to watch a couple of teams play hockey right?!!? Come on!

If you are sitting near Section 306 and start a Yankees Suck chant, expect to quickly become familiar with guys named Sean, Mike, Justin, Jon, Chris or Robb and also expect to be berated endlessly for the rest of the game. This is NEVER acceptable, even for you newbies. Screw baseball, it is hockey season.

Hopefully these helpful tips will help you bandwagon fans become full time fans. And if not, well see you next spring, new friends!

Morning Skate: Not a dry eye as Canucks draftee gets the call

Morning Skate: Not a dry eye as Canucks draftee gets the call

Here are all the links from around the hockey world, and what I’m reading, while getting ready to check out GLOW on Netflix.

*This video of a Vancouver Canucks draft pick tearing up while watching the video of his brother celebrating him getting picked is all that is right with the NHL Draft.  

*FOH (Friend of Haggs) Adrian Dater has Avs first-round pick Cale Makar talking about his hockey background, and why it doesn’t matter.

*The Calgary Flames are excited about their prospects and the pieces they were able to acquire last weekend.

*The Washington Capitals have re-signed Brett Connolly for a couple of years at short money and he appears to have found a home in DC.

*The Chicago Blackhawks are still in talks with Marian Hossa about how to resolve his contract and the allergic skin condition that might have prematurely ended his hockey career.

*Will the Tampa Bay sports go through a dry spell when it comes to Hall of Fame athletes now that former Lighting forward Dave Andreychuk has been called to the Hockey Hall?

*It looks like young Pierre Luc Dubois will be put in a position to contribute with the Columbus Blue Jackets this season.

*Alex Prewitt has a preview of the NHL free agency period and the stress levels that many players go through in it.

*For something completely different: This video of Drake and Will Ferrell hoop handshakes was pretty solid, and funny.

 

Drellich: Hanley Ramirez has to improve or Red Sox need to try others

Drellich: Hanley Ramirez has to improve or Red Sox need to try others

BOSTON — It doesn’t really matter what’s holding Hanley Ramirez back: his health, his desire to play at less-than-100 percent, neither, both. The Red Sox need him to produce more at the plate, as the designated hitter, or need to play someone who can produce more.

The suggestion of putting Ramirez on the disabled list so that his shoulders (and now, his left knee, where he was hit by a pitch Sunday) may heal is reasonable. If you can’t hit well — if you can’t even be in the lineup — why are you on the roster?

Ramirez was out for a second straight game Tuesday night. 

Flat-out benching Ramirez in favor of Chris Young or Sam Travis or both for a time makes sense too. Young will DH again Tuesday and Travis will start at first against Twins left-hander Hector Santiago. 

Try one, try all. The route to better production doesn’t matter. As long as the Sox get some, be it from Ramirez or somewhere else.

After Mitch Moreland, who’s playing with a fractured big toe on his left foot, homered and had another impactful night on Monday, Sox manager John Farrell made some comments that are hard to read as anything but a message to Ramirez.

“In his most recent stretch, he’s been able to get on top of some fastballs that have been at the top of the strike zone or above for some power obviously,” Farrell said. “But I think the way he’s gone about it given the physical condition he’s in, is a strong message to the remainder of this team.”

Tuesday is June 27. From May 27 on, Ramirez is hitting .202 with a .216 on-base percentage and .369 slugging percentage. 

In the final three months of the 2016 season, Ramirez hit .300 with a .379 OBP and .608 slugging percentage. That’s from the start of July through the end of the regular season. 

The potential for such a second-half surge is hard to ignore. The Sox need to figure out if Ramirez is healthy enough to give it to them, and if not, be willing to give someone else an extended look — be it with Ramirez on the bench or the DL.