By Mary Paoletti
Congratulations, Rick Pitino!
If I was being sarcastic, I'd be toasting you for screwing up one of my best brackets. It's not MY fault for picking Louisville to beat Morehead State, it's YOUR fault for failing to coach your 4-seeded team past No. 13 MSU.
You thought you were smart, scaring the crap out of your kids by calling the Eagles "As good as any team in the country" so your team wouldn't underestimate the Ohio Valley Conference champions the way most Big East big dogs would.
Right? That was your plan?
Well, it backfired, you sharp-dressed dummy.
Instead of playing tough, your kids played scared; they fell behind 15-7 at the start and left little puddles of pee all over the court. And of course they were terrified! You called Kenneth Faried (14.5 rpg, 17.6 ppg): a Dennis Rodman-type player." Your Cards probably thought they were going to get hit on by a cross-dresser.
A few other reasons why sarcasm is warranted:
1. You made the Louisville mascot sad. Not nice.
2. Still mad about what you did to the Celtics.
3. You were the first Big East team to give haters a reason to get their cross-eyed, arms-flailing, "OVERRATED" verbal-diarrhea started. And that made Charles Barkley sound smart. Turrible.
Huh. Guess I was being sarcastic.