Read about the Tiger Woods spit scandal here on Wicked Good Sports.
Ridiculous. Justin handled the situation with just the right amount of Shut-the-Hell-Up for the PGA commentators who sobbed over Le Tigre coughing up a hairball on the green.
I read the blog, laughed, and prepared to move on.
No such luck.
"Jared Sullinger says he was spit on"
The best college basketball player in the country tweets that he got hit with some spit and it's newsworthy? Being spat on isn't on my Bucket List, but the way this is being handled by the media -- in the fad of creating a story based off athlete tweets -- is monumentally lame.
-- "The spit has since hit the fan."
-- "Bo Ryan said on Monday's Big Ten coaches teleconference that there are video cameras all over Kohl Center and he had seen no evidence that any saliva was hurled."
They should have cordoned off the area. Perhaps drawn a little chalk outline on Sullinger's face of where the spit made impact? Can you even write in chalk on someone's face? Someone should look into that. That person should also look to see if there's any spit DNA left and get it tested to find the culprit. I nominate an Associated Press writer to do the work, as clearly, they're bored over there.
-- "After a day or so of bloggers, columnists and the general public weighing in on "Spitgate," the coaches were asked about it on the Big Ten teleconference on Monday."
Seriously? This was something that needed be weighed in on? Good God.
And who asked the question? Who asked the Ryan and Thad Matta about projectile saliva? I want to know. It's as absurd as asking NFL coaches about Tom Brady's hair.
"But it's out there -- we have to ask. We're just doing out job as reporters."
No. NO. Your job is to ask Tom Izzo about how significant the road ahead is for his reeling Spartans. Your job is to ask John Beilien about the surprise contributions of his freshman.
Write a column about Storming The Court epidemic in America. Write a column about how difficult it is to be as awesome as Jared Sullinger is. Giggity-go for it.
Ryan's treatment of the issue as a non-issue is best;: "All I know is we won the game, deal with it, our end, their end," the Ohio State coach said.
I wish people were more respectful of each other, but they aren't. Alas, the "Hugs Not Loogies" campaign doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Maybe PA governor Ed Rendell was right: We're turning into "a nation of wimps."
And I'm not even talking about Sullinger; he had a right to be disgusted and say so. I'm talking about information-obsessed wimps who need every day of the athlete life drawn-and-quartered until the thing bleeds out. And dies.
'BUT WHAT DID BO RYAN SAAAAY?! DID THEY CATCH THE SPITTER?! MAYBE THERE WAS A SECOND SPITTER? ON THE GRASSY KNOLL! CHECK THE TAPEEES. FEED MEEE! NOM NOM NOM!'
Doomed, we're all domed.
Might as well dance.