Top 5 Christmas sports miracles (that maymay not happen)

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Top 5 Christmas sports miracles (that maymay not happen)

By Justin Aucoin
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com

In just a few days itll be Christmas -- a time where peace is supposed to reign on Earth, good will is shown toward your fellow man and Christmas miracles become as numerous as snow flakes.

However, there are some sports-related Christmas miracles that are about as likely to happen as well as likely you getting that pony you always wanted as a kid.

5. Boston Bruins show up for a full game
Biggest complaint about the Bruins this year is that they show up for only 20 minutes a game.

Sometimes its the first period; sometimes the second; usually its the third. Who knows?

Theres no better illustration of this than Saturdays game against the Capitals and last night's game against the Ducks. After scoring three goals in the first period on Saturday, the B's punched out all except for Tim Thomas who, once again, carried the Bruins on his shoulders. He faced more shots in the third period than the Bs fired off themselves in the entire game.

B's should at least buy the guy some Icy-Hot to help soothe his aching shoulders and back. They might want to toss in a few six packs and cheeseburgers for good measure though.

Oh and, yknow, play an entire 60 minutes of hockey some day. They certainly didn't do it last night. Boston let the formerly Emilio Estevez-inspired Anaheim Ducks blank them, 3-0. Sure they put up 45 shots but maybe five of them actually made Jonas Hiller move to stop. It was definitely the easiest 45-shot shutout in recent memory (perhaps ever).
Bruins haven't scored in over 100 minutes of hockey. That's a long coffee break.
Christmas Miracle chance? Medium. B's will turn it around at some point, but expect some slips and dips into 13 effort here and there.

4. Soccer players stop diving
Were pretty sure its required of all soccer players to watch and study the finer points of soap opera acting. Its the only way to explain all the over-the-top dives and fake injuries youll see during the course of a game.

Or maybe they study online.

And as bad as youll hear Bruins fans complain about Montreal Canadiens players diving, its nothing compared to European soccer. Youll see more dives in 30 seconds of soccer than you will in the entire run of the Summer Olympic diving competition.

But in fairness, theres a chance youll see someone get kung-fud, too.

Christmas Miracle chance? Never going to happen. Save your wishes for something more likely to happen like getting a pony.
3. FSU beats UConn; ends winning streak
Last weekend UConn womens basketball team won its 88th straight game, tying UCLAs mens team record for longest winning streak. The Huskies last loss came in 2008.

We dont even remember what happened in 2008 anymore.

The one team standing in between UConn and immortality? Number 22 Florida State, who just lost to Yale (2-7) this past weekend.

Christmas Miracle chance? Best of luck with that, FSU.

2. Toronto Maple Leafs string some wins together

Sure thing, kid. You and a myriad of other waffle-throwing fellas up north.

OK sure, this one is bound to happen eventually. Right? But on a regular occurrence? Eh. Looks like the Bruins might score another sweet draft pick.

Its cool, though. At least Toronto has Phil Kessel.

Christmas Miracle chance? Medium. Leafs can be a streaky team (as they showed at the start of the season). But in the long wrong its going to be waffle town.
1. Rex Ryan stops eating snacks

Hope you brought plenty of eye bleach for that one. Its going to haunt your dreams for a while.

Christmas Miracle chance? Hahahahahahahahaha.

Have a fun and safe holiday, everyone.

Make sure to check out more fun with Photoshop from Justin and his team atDaysofYOrr.com.

Blakely: Celtics made the right choice in not pursuing Cousins

Blakely: Celtics made the right choice in not pursuing Cousins

NEW ORLEANS -- There will be a significant faction of Celtics Nation who will see DeMarcus Cousins’ trade to New Orleans as a lost opportunity for the C's, who could have offered a much more enticing trade package than the one the Sacramento Kings accepted.
 
The Kings received nothing even remotely close to a king’s ransom for Cousins, acquiring him in exchange for rookie Buddy Hield, journeyman Langston Galloway and ex-Pelican Tyreke Evans (who has never been the same since his Rookie of the Year season in 2010), along with a protected first-round pick and a future second-round selection.

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While the knee-jerk reaction is to focus on why Boston decided to not pursue a trade for Cousins, more important is what the non-decision means for the moment and going forward.
 
Think about what the Celtics have done in the last three-plus seasons.
 
They went from being a lottery team to one that has the second-best record in the East. They're holding the potential No. 1 overall pick in the upcoming draft; at worst, the pick will be in the top four or five. They have three of the most team-friendly contracts (Isaiah Thomas, Avery Bradley and Jae Crowder) in the NBA. They have promising prospects overseas as well as in the D-League. And they're led by a coach who has improved his coaching acumen -- and the team’s win total -- every year he's been on the job.
 
And it's all enveloped by a culture with a high level of selflessness, which has created a locker-room environment that has been more about fighting for each other than fighting one another or others off the court.
 
Do you really think Cousins’ talent would have trumped the baggage he'd be bringing to the Celtics if they'd acquired him?
 
For him to have fit in with this team would have required him to make the kind of changes that, frankly, I just don’t see him being capable of making at this point.
 
On more than one occasion, “not fitting in” with the Celtics culture was given to me as the reason why a Cousins-to-Boston trade never gained any traction with the team’s brass. Or coaching staff, for that matter.
 
While there's no denying that he's arguably the best center in the NBA, Cousins is a high-risk, high-reward talent that makes sense to pursue if you're a franchise which has nothing to lose by adding him to the mix. Like, say, New Orleans.
 
The Pelicans are 11th in the Western Conference despite having Anthony Davis, who has been asked to carry the weight of a franchise that has yet to figure out the best combination of talent to surround him with and find success.
 
The addition of Cousins not only provides Davis some major help, but serves as a reminder of just how desperate the Pelicans are.
 
While there are mixed reports on whether the package of assets the Kings agreed to was the best they could have received for Cousins, there was no way they were going to get anything close to comparable talent in exchange for him.
 
And that was solely due to the risk that any team was willing to take on in order to acquire him.
 
At some point, the Celtics need to take advantage of an opportunity to go all-in for a superstar player. But this was not that time, or that player.