Throwing stuff on the ice: Ideas for unhappy Bruins fans

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Throwing stuff on the ice: Ideas for unhappy Bruins fans

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Have you heard? Leafs fans are throwing waffles onto the ice at the Air Canada Centre!

This is not a good thing.

No, as warm and delicious as waffles may be, having them hurled at your head is not as friendly a sign of affection as one might think. The following explanation comes from The Puck Doctors:

The Toronto Sun has identified a man, known as Jack M., as the culprit. Nicknamed the "Waffle Man," Jack vows to strike again if the Leafs continue to struggle on the ice.There were a few seconds left in another obviously lost Leafs game when the 27-year-old construction worker pulled out the soggy waffles he had stashed under his jersey and chucked them onto the ice of the Air Canada Centre on Thursday."They need to wake up and eat some breakfast," Jack, who asked not to be identified, said in a Saturday interview, hours ahead of the Leafs meeting with Montreal. "Im just trying to help them out with a balanced diet."The "diehard Leafs fan" said he didnt throw the waffles out of disrespect to the players, explaining, "I love them, but somebodys got to say something."

What better way to say, "Wake up!" to a professional athlete than to throw a box of Eggos at a him? My first thought was that the waffles were a symbol for the Leafs being deliberately ambiguous in their play. Wrong. My other thought went back to when Detroit Red Wings fans threw octopi on the ice in the 1952 playoffs to sympolize the number of playoff wins standing between the team and the Stanley Cup. Maybe the 41 or so little waffle cells (syrup traps) represent Toronto's projected losses for the season. Wrong again. Shows how creative I am.

This whole thing got me thinking, though. What would Bruins fans throw on the ice right now? Boston is 3-5 in in its last 8 games. The B's last outing produced a 3-0 shutout -- by the other team -- and many disgrunted Bruins fans. So what would these people throw if so inspired? Here are a few ideas.

BABY DOLLS
This might anger DHS workers somehow... something about graphically violent images that would confuse younger fans... whatever... but it could make a strong point. You guys are babies. See? Here are a bunch of them raining down on your head to illustrate the point. If fans could find dolls named Sally that pee when pressed it would be an even stronger statement. FULL BEER CUPS I'm kidding! Clearly, kidding. How crazy do you think I am?

THE OPPONENTS FANS
This is a very 'Boston' choice. The Hub's sports fans love brawling, whether during a win over the Yankees or a loss to the Canadiens. Beyond all the blue collar psychology of it there's the simple fact that Boston is great at drinking beer and beer can bring out the nasty in a person. How satisfying would, instead of just punching that annoying Canadiens fan, picking up the guy and tossing him onto the ice? Not sure about what message it would send to the Bruins but it would probably relieve some angst.

BRETT FAVRE
As long as people are getting thrown, Favre is an easy choice. The message here is simple: Nobody likes Favre but if he injures one of you guys when hurled down there then we wouldn't be that mad. And that's a problem.
VARIOUS ANIMAL HEARTS
I'm not sure how easy or difficult animal organs are to procure but the effort would be worth it. The Bruins have been flat, completely lacking emotion or desperation. What they need is heart! Get it? I figured it would at least be easier than finding complete circulatory systems to toss.

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS
This suggestion runs in the same vein (no pun intended) as the "good breakfast" idea. Boston must not be eating well before games. They should cabro-load. Best part of this plan is that the Bruins don't need to sweep the stuff away and trash it. They should use the shovels to feed the players. So somebody wrangle Favre (again with the puns) and start cooking... the Thrashers are in town tonight.

Jackie Bradley Jr. explains why he wouldn't skip White House visit

Jackie Bradley Jr. explains why he wouldn't skip White House visit

Jackie Bradley Jr. will likely have a spotless attendance record for White House trips.

The Boston Red Sox outfielder began discussing those championship trips to meet the president after Red Sox chairman Tom Werner referenced the New England Patriots' Super Bowl win at a team get-together on Friday morning.

“If my team is going, yes, I’m going,” Bradley Jr. told WEEI.com's Rob Bradford, adding later, “I don’t like politics, not even a little bit.”

The Patriots so far have six players who have openly stated they will not attend New England's White House trip to meet President Donald Trump. Team leaders like Dont'a Hightower and Devin McCourty are among those unwilling to attend.

For Bradley, the White House trip is not about making a political statement.

“The reason why we’re going there is because we did something together as a team. The White House is cool,” he said. “I’m with my team."

The 26-year-old outfielder has twice attended the championship trip to the nation's capital. In college, he went with the South Carolina Gamecocks after they won the College World Series. He later attended with the Red Sox in 2013. Bradley Jr. said he enjoyed attending the White House to meet Barack Obama, but added he wasn't concerned with which president was hosting the event.

He said: “How many people can say they’ve been to the White House? That alone. There is a lot history there, and I’m a big fan of architecture. I think the whole thing is unique.”

Glen Robinson wins NBA All-Sar Slam Dunk Contest

Glen Robinson wins NBA All-Sar Slam Dunk Contest

Glenn Robinson III is the NBA's new dunk king, with an assist to Indiana teammate Paul George, the Pacers' mascot and a Pacers cheerleader.

Robinson leaped over all three, snagging the ball from George along the way before finishing with an emphatic, two-hand, reverse jam, giving him a perfect score - and the title - on his final dunk.

"I know I'm a jumper. Like I said, I'm a guy that stays out of the way, but when it's time to shine, that's my thing," Robinson said. "I knew all along I had some things planned and I just wanted to show the world."

Robinson edged out Phoenix's Derrick Jones Jr., who was done in by his failure to complete his difficult first dunk of two in the final round.

Jones still managed a perfect score on his second dunk, when he received a bounce-pass in the paint, put it between his legs and threw down a left-handed jam. But Robinson made sure it wasn't enough.

In the 3-point contest, Houston's Eric Gordon dethroned Golden State splash brother Klay Thompson. Kristaps Porzingisof the New York Knicks won the Skills Challenge.

Both dunk finalists delighted the crowd with soaring slams over teammates and others that showcased the explosive spring in their vertical leaps.

"I thought I would go up against Derrick in the finals," Robinson said. "I've seen the things that he can do. That guy can jump."

Robinson's first dunk was one of his best. He leap-frogged one man sitting on another's shoulders, grabbed the ball from the elevated man's hands and slammed it home. He said 2000 dunk champ Vince Carter was one of his primary influences, along with Michael Jordan, of course.

"Vince Carter did one of his best dunks first, and it kind of intimidated people. That's what I wanted to go out and do," Robinson said. "Who knows if it worked, but they missed some of their dunks and it gave me a little more room."

Afterward, he couldn't take his hands off of the trophy - a gold basketball - and made it sound as if that would remain the case through the weekend.

"I know I'm not letting go of her right there," he said. "She's following me everywhere I go. It's Mardi Gras. We're going to have a good time."

Jones jumped over four teammates including Devin Booker and Marquese Chriss in the first round. He also drew roars from the crowd when he took a pass off the side of the backboard from Booker with his right hand, put the ball between his legs to his left for a round-house jam.

The dunk that cost him was a bold one. He tried to leap a friend and the Suns' gorilla mascot, grab the ball on the way over, put it between his legs and then finish with a windmill. But he couldn't get the dunk to go down in his allotted three attempts.

DeAndre Jordan of the Los Angeles Clippers and Aaron Gordon of Orlando were unable to emerge from the first round. Jordan dunked over DJ turn tables and Gordon dunked after receiving a bounce pass from a drone that had flown over the court with the "Star Wars" theme music playing.

Eric Gordon got his win in New Orleans, where he played the previous five seasons before leaving last summer in free agency.

Gordon's score of 21 in a final-round tiebreaker defeated Cleveland's Kyrie Irving, the 2013 winner, who had 18. The pair had each finished with a score of 20 in the final round, meaning they each had to shoot 25 more balls to decide it.

"I wasn't really concentrating on how many I made," Gordon said. "It's all about just knocking down the shot. I never counted in my head or anything. I just go out there and just shoot the ball."

Thompson was stunningly eliminated in the first round, missing a final shot from the corner that could have put him through ahead of Kemba Walker.

Big men reigned supreme for a second straight year in the skills competition, with the 7-foot-3 Porzingis beating Utah's Gordon Hayward in the final round.

Those vanquished in earlier rounds included guards John Wall of Washington and Isaiah Thomas of Boston, both because they couldn't make their initial 3-pointers required to close out the course before Hayward did, even though Hayward had trailed each of them dribbling down the court by a considerable margin before hitting his clinching shots.

Porzingis emerged from the big-men's division that included the Pelicans' Anthony Davis and Denver's Nikola Jokic.

"It's a good feeling that I'm able to showcase my skill with my size and show to the kids that you're capable of doing that even if you're tall and lanky like me," Porzingis said.

Porzingis and Hayward were neck-and-neck until the end of the course, but Porzingis hit his 3 first to end it.

The three-round, head-to-head obstacle-course competition tests dribbling, passing, agility and shooting skills.

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AP Basketball Writer Tim Reynolds contributed to this report