Theory: Lucchino has Henry duped

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Theory: Lucchino has Henry duped

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Who's ready for some irresponsible journalism?

Kidding. What Wicked Good Sports does isn't journalism. It's make believe. Which brings us to the following, "an interesting set of theories."

What if Larry Lucchino has John Henry duped?

Henry told Felger & Mazz neither "John, Tom or Larry" were direct sources for The Boston Globe's Inside The Collapse piece. He falsely cited reporter Bob Hohler as publicly ruling them out as his sources. Henry rejected the possibility Lucchino leaked personal information about Terry Francona. Then turned and said:

"One of the first things that I learned when I came here, Larry Lucchino said, 'There are no secrets in baseball.'"

Especially if Lucchino is the leak Roto-Rooter couldn't fix. And that can lead us to only one theory: Larry Lucchino has John Henry living in a cocoon of false reality.

But why? To secure his financial backing in a plot to wrest the Red Sox from Rich Levine & Co., of course.

Imaginary scene 1: Henry walks through the Red Sox clubhouse and raises an eyebrow at the empty beer bottles and grease-lined cartons of fried chicken. Lucchino corrects him; they are in the visitors' clubhouse.

Imaginary scene 2: Henry questions the exorbitant price of beer at Fenway Park. Lucchino assures him the prices are necessary to skirt prohibition laws.

Imaginary scene 3: Henry balks at entering a pact with LeBron James, believing he once heard Boston fans boo him. Lucchino hires an actor to play a doctor. It is determined Henry has a hearing problem.

Imaginary scene 4: Henry expresses disinterest in purchasing Liverpool because "Americans don't care about soccer." Lucchino, using a crudely drawn map, convinces him Liverpool is a town in Massachusetts -- seven-hours away via flight. "See, err ehh, Red Sox Nation, err, loves soccer or, ehhh, football as they call it."

Imaginary scene 5: Henry is hand-delivered his newspaper by Lucchino each morning:

Yeah. An interesting set of theories.

Video: Chara hits practice goalie in groin

Video: Chara hits practice goalie in groin

BRIGHTON, Mass -- Life as an emergency practice goalie can be pretty rough.

Take, for instance, Mass State Trooper Keith Segee, who has suited up a couple of times for the Boston Bruins this season during times of need, and did exactly that during Wednesday’s optional practice for the Black and Gold.

Segee got caught with a Zdeno Chara cranked slap shot right in the family jewels, and then had to walk…er, crawl it off like any normal human being would after getting bombed by a guy that can shoot it 108-mph.

“He’s got the hardest shot of anybody I’ve ever seen,” said Segee, with a smile. “I had to take two or three laps around the rink after that one and skate it off.”

Give Chara credit for moving right over to Segee and giving him a tap on the backside for skating it off, and risking life, limb and perhaps a lot more to stop a few pucks for the Black and Gold.

Segee played at Revere High and Salem State College before joining the Mass State Police, and got the emergency gig through Bruins goalie coach Bob Essensa when Boston needed a practice goalie at the end of last week in Tuukka Rask’s absence.

Let’s hope Segee is okay at this point, or the Bruins captain could be looking at a few more moving violations in his future. 

Wednesday, March 29: Oilers back in the playoffs

Wednesday, March 29: Oilers back in the playoffs

Here are all the links from around the hockey world, and what I’m reading while gearing up for the last couple of weeks.

*The Edmonton Oilers will return to the Stanley Cup playoffs this season as it looks like Canada will be well-represented once again after last year’s absence.

*Let’s meet the man behind the push to bring the NHL to China, and introduce the game to billions of people.

*Eric Staal is enjoying his second act with the Minnesota Wild, and even better he’s totally flourishing there as well.

*Let’s hear it for the US Women’s team that stuck to their guns and got an unprecedented deal with USA Hockey that will allow them to focus on winning for the next four years.

*PHT writer and FOH (Friend of Haggs) Jason Brough has Steve Stamkos “really close” to a return for the Tampa Bay Lightning, in a concerning development for the Boston Bruins’ playoff hopes.

*Apparently things are getting a little heightened with the Los Angeles Kings as some of their prominent players skipped a media session in Calgary.

*For something completely different: Let’s hear it for the best news of the day, the Cash Cab is coming back.