By Jon Fucile
At the beginning of every season, each NFL player has to take a baseline concussion test. Basically the NFL has the players look at 20 pictures on a piece of paper then turn over the paper and draw as many of those 20 pictures as they can and they do the same test with 20 words.
If a player has a concussion during the season the NFL makes the player take the same test and if the player performs below what they did at the beginning of the season, the player must sit out until doctors deem he is ready. Or so the story goes.
Recently, however, Peyton Manning admitted to failing these baseline concussion tests on purpose so that if he sustained a concussion during the season and had to take the test again the bar would already be set low. You know, kind of like his playoff performances.
While the NFL is trying to make the game safer and protect players, Manning seems to be advocating failing on purpose, just in case.
But is Manning failing on purpose? Or is he just really not that bright?
Based on family history, it is probably the latter.
There was that one family Christmas when the Mannings invited Tom Brady over and Peyton just had to prove he was smarter than Tom Brady. Brady pet Peyton that he couldnt get his giant head through the railing on the stairs.
Oh, that whacky Tom.
It is not just Peyon that is this dumb. Eli is not exactly joining MENSA any time soon. Ever wonder why he has that really dumb look on his face all the time? Well, an unfortunate incident when he was youngerwell, see for yourself.
Poor Archie Manning. He has two idiots for kids. It is partially his fault though. When his kids were younger he was too busy being a mediocre quarterback to tell his kids they were reading books the wrong way.
This issue was compounded when older brother Peyton tried to teach younger brother Eli how to read.
Even when the Mannings try to do a good deed they screw it up. Peyton was trying to help a local school, but apparently he was too used to purposely failing concussion tests that he screwed that up, too.
Hey, Peyton, dont worry about that. Here, well give you a chance to redeem yourself. How do you spell clutch?
Ill even use it in a sentence: When Peyton Manning is in a big game, his favorite clutch move is:
Wellat least you were partially correct.
In fifteen years when Peyton Manning is having trouble remembering his own name and doing interviews about how the NFL should have done more about concussions maybe someone can remind him of the times he purposely failed baseline concussion tests. Great example youre setting for the young kids too Peyton. Seriously. Great job. Idiot.
Then again, Manning has never done well under pressure so many he is just embarrassed that he keeps failing these tests and is pretending he did it on purpose.