So many Pujols quotes

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So many Pujols quotes

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Phil Simms is guilty of a broadcasting pet peeve: turning a player's actions into a quoted statement.

Tom Brady throws a touchdown pass.

"Tom Brady says, 'Wait a minute, you're not stopping me today, Steelers Defense.'"

James Harrison violently sacks the quarterback.

"And James Harrison says, 'Wait a minute, I want you dead.'"

And so on.

Imagine, just for this post, if it was accepted practice for reporters to attribute quotes to athletes based solely on their actions. I promise, afterward you can go back to imagining yourself firing off wishes in one of those State Farm commercials. Sure, the one with the girl from 4E if you want.

JUPITER, Fla. (WGS) -- The St. Louis Cardinals made their best offer to Albert Pujols, and he said, "Nope. That's garbage. Get that out of my face."

Sources would not comment as to whether the Cardinals actually treated the offer like garbage.

Pujols, widely considered the most-feared batter in the National League, is set to become a free agent at the end of the season. St. Louis would like to continue negotiating with Pujols, who said, "Not-uh. I imposed a Wednesday deadline that wasn't met. Now go away; I don't want to talk to you no more."

The reported gap in negotiations centers on money, not years. The Cardinals are said to have offered 200 million total -- plus a possible ownership stake in the team -- to which he replied, "Can't accept that terrible deal. What's that, 25 million per year? Chump change per year's more like it."

". . . Psst. HELP ME. My agent and the MLBPA say if I accept anything less than 300 million over ten years, they won't be friends with me anymore. I really like having friends. HELP!"

The plea has done him no good, and he is reportedly cracking under the pressure of negotiating a deal on which the MLBPA is banking. Late Wednesday, Pujols said, "Oh yeah?! You're premature, Justin Bieber. How do you like them apples? Not very much I suspect."

Oh, wait. Turns out Pujols issued a statement and you can forget all those made up, mis-attributed quotes. But it was fun while it lasted.

Blakely: It makes too much sense not to happen

Blakely: It makes too much sense not to happen

BOSTON -- We are nearing the 11th hour of the trade deadline, and it’s pretty clear that the Celtics have honed in on Indiana’s Paul George. 

CELTICS AT THE TRADE DEADLINE

While some may wonder why in the world would Celtics great Larry Bird would consider trading a four-time All-Star who is just 26 years old, flash back to All-Star weekend in New Orleans. 
 
That’s when George, who can become a free agent after the 2017-18 season, made it clear he wanted to play for a team that’s positioned to contend and would not commit to signing an extension with the Pacers this summer. 
 
We call that a red flag warning. He's at the very least open to the idea of potentially moving on if the Pacers don’t pick up the pace and start winning more games. 
 
And Bird, to his credit, has scoured the NBA landscape looking for deals to bolster the Pacers and elevate them beyond their current sixth-place standing in the East. 
 
Because as they are constructed now, it’s hard to imagine them finding a way to leapfrog Cleveland, Boston, Washington or Toronto. 
 
And the prospect of jumping ahead of Atlanta seems a bit far-fetched as well.
 
If they can’t satisfy George’s desire to be on a more competitive, upper-echelon team, they might as well get some value for him before he leaves for nothing. 
 
And unlike the Chicago Bulls, the Pacers actually have a player they can build around -- Myles Turner -- going forward if they decide to move on.
 
But moving on can be a painful process.
 
However, armed with an established centerpiece (Turner) going forward, Indiana’s suffering can be lessened significantly with one of the top picks in the draft . . . like the pick Boston will get the right to swap with Brooklyn this year. The Nets will likely finish with the worst record in the NBA, giving whoever owns their pick a legit shot at one of the top-two picks. 
 
Even if it falls all the way to No. 4 overall, Indiana would still be able to add a difference-maker to its roster along with what will likely be a couple of solid Celtics players. 
 
As for Boston, George gives them the megawatt superstar that all those assets -- draft picks, developed players -- were supposed to deliver at some point. 
 
Of course, Boston runs the risk of losing him after the 2017-18 season.
 
But the Celtics are banking on winning George over with the franchise’s on-the-rise culture that’s only getting stronger with time; a chance to play with another elite scorer in Isaiah Thomas, and a chance to play for coach Brad Stevens, who made a very strong impression on many of the top players during All-Star weekend.
 
Of course this is all assuming that the C's can put together a package to Indiana’s liking, and that will still leave them with a roster that’s capable of competing at the highest levels. 
 
Regardless of how this all plays out, the fact that the Celtics once again find themselves in the running for one of the game’s top players (Al Horford and Kevin Durant last summer, now Paul George and Jimmy Butler to a lesser degree) speaks to how this franchise is definitely headed in the right direction. 
 
And the addition of a player like George would do more than just make them a more talented team in the present. It gives them a bona fide, unquestioned star for the future, a future that’s looking brighter with each passing day. 

Tom Brady posts skiing video with dated South Park reference

Tom Brady posts skiing video with dated South Park reference

Tom Brady’s annual attempt at making the collective testicles of New England draw up into its stomach has succeeded.

Brady posted on Instagram video of him skiing somewhere that we aren’t. He approaches a decent-sized jump, hits it, appears to stick the landing, blurts, “Whoa…” and then the camera shows an empty ski and a lifeless body. 

Actually, no lifeless body. Watched it a second time. No lifeless body.

Brady has graduated from sliding down waterslides and cliff-diving to this latest offseason effort to make sure everyone still cares about his safety.  

They do.

Next season, Russian Roulette.

If you french fry when you're supposed to pizza, you're gonna have a bad time! Trust me!!!

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