Rex Ryan, Patriots head coach

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Rex Ryan, Patriots head coach

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

He's refused to genuflect and kiss the rings of The Hooded One. He's been flossin' his team since the red lights started glowing on HBO's cameras. He's had lap band surgery.

He is Rex Ryan, the Jets coach known for his brashness and oddly-white teeth. And if most New England media members had it their way, hed be leading their 9-2 team. Oh, it would be so much fun when he handfeeds them the quotes they want.

In another world it might've happened, had Bill Belichick not left the Jets for Foxborough. This is exactly how that other world would operate:

OPERATOR: It is 9:13 a.m. You are on a conference call with New England Patriots head coach Rex Ryan. Press 5 on your phone if you have a question to ask First up, we have

REPORTER 1: Rex, you have a long week to prepare for hosting the 9-2 Jets. Coach Belichick is giving his players considerable time off. Can yours expect the same?

REX: Yeah, a mini Bye Week sounds good right about now. Giving them three days off.

REPORTER 1: Any sort of message delivered before setting them loose?

REX: I told em, Lets go eat a gosh darn five-course meal. Football and five-course meals: its the Patriot way.

REPORTER 2: But when you do get to work, will you be concerned about any illegal filming by the Jets after the news out of Denver?

REX: Look, if I was concerned about the Jets getting a hold of our practice footage, Hard Knocks sure as expletive wouldnt have been up my expletive all summer, would they? I know were the best team in football -- you may not know it, but I do. Of course they should want to watch and learn from the best. I'll deliver our practice footage on a silver platter if they want.

REPORTER 3: (gushing) Wow.

REX: Is that a question or are you five?

REPORTER 4: Coach, in all seriousness, do you see this is an epic battle?

REX: Well, expletive yeah I do. The Jets get all the respect in the world from you people. Oh, theyre so quiet and reserved. So what? Were loud, boisterous and not afraid of anybody. They can come in here all fat and cocky, but theyll be leaving limp and... hold on a sec. (yelling) Hey, Mike! Mike! You get me that footlong sub or what? (muffled yes in background) Extra hots? (muffled yes in background) Damn right you did. Gimme that thing. Mmm... get in my belly. (rustling paper, CHOMP, GULP, relieved sigh) All gone.

REPORTER 2: Did you even take the wrapper off that sub?

REX: Whats it to ya?

(10 seconds of awkward silence)

REPORTER 1: Coach, the Jets are known to play Bon Jovi to simulate the level of noise opposing crowds make. I know youre the home team, but what do you use?

REX: I put Vampire Weekend on blast. Those herky-jerky, smarmy vocals are torturous. Are there even lyrics to their songs, or is it just jibberish?

REPORTER 5: New York has a pretty good secondary, but your rookie is locking down every receiver he faces. Its like sticking the opponent on a desert island. Since youre the master of hype, ever think of giving him the nickname McCourty Island?

REX: Heres the problem with that idea -- too many syllables in McCourty. McCourty Island sounds stupid. And I cant be taking deep breaths to say a nickname. It defeats the purpose. But McCourtyville, thats promotable. Oh look, Braylon Edwards checks into the quiet hamlet of McCourtyville, too bad he never checks out. Boom, done.

REPORTER 3: Wowee!

REX: Reporter 3, I've got a Tonka truck in my office for you to play with. Run along.

REPORTER 1: What d'ya see in Antonio Cromartie? He's been a pleasant surprise for the Jets.

REX: Hes tough. Guy is an att-lete. Plus, he's so productive. Cromartie repeatedly produces and produces and produces and produces, and... for the sake of saving time let's just say he reproduces. A lot.

REPORTER 4: What do you consider the bigger rivalry: New York or Cleveland?

REX: Hey, you know my brother's real name is Remus? He's got long hair like an old lady librarian, too. What a expletive.

REPORTER 3: Are you going to dress up like Belichick, kind of like how you wore that wig to look like your brother?

REX: They don't make hoodies in 5XL. Alls I got are sweater vests and altered Patriots tablecloths. Next.

REPORTER 4: How about the rivalry? You never answered my question.

REX: Obviously New York is the bigger rivalry, mainly because theyre afraid of us.

REPORTER 4: Afraid? How do you know that?

REX: My dad told me a long time ago that if someone wont even engage in a war of words with you, theyre too busy focusing on stopping the shaking going on in their boots. And believe me, the Jets have a case of happy feet right now.

Alright. That'll do it for today, guys. Gotta go figure out what's for pre-lunch.

REPORTER 1: Pre-lunch?

REX: Yeah. It helps take the pressure off. You know, the pressure of trying to bring New England it's first Super Bowl.

See: Ryan is a better quote than Belichick, making the media's job easy. But easy isn't always the adjective one wants attached to his job. Or girlfriend. It promises a lack of spectacular results and a whole heap of disloyalty, respectively.

Dustin Pedroia taking cues from Tom Brady to extend his career

Dustin Pedroia taking cues from Tom Brady to extend his career

Dustin Pedroia is no stranger to injuries. That's a big reason why he's no longer a stranger to the sometimes peculiar practices of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

In an interview on WEEI's "Bradfo Show," Pedroia told Rob Bradford that he's been taking cues from the five-time Super Bowl-winning QB to help extend his playing career and make his body healthier and more durable.

“I understand what he does and know what he does. I think it’s awesome,” Pedroia told Bradford. “There’s a reason why he’s successful at his age (39), and he looks better now than he did when he first came to the league. You have to be smarter as you get older and learn different styles -- the way to train and the way you take care of your body to be able to perform and stay on the field. It doesn’t matter what sport you’re playing. He’s definitely got that figured out.”

Pedroia, of course, played the entire 2013 World Series-winning season with a torn ligament in his thumb. He's battled through various other lower body and hand injuries over the past few seasons, as well. But in 2016, he had his best season in recent memory, posting his highest OPS since 2011, as WEEI notes.

Part of that is with his own take on the Brady approach -- which focuses more on pliability and resistance training than extensive, heavy weight lifting -- and a healthier overall lifestyle, something Brady is notoriously infamous for having.

"There’s tons of ways to take care of your body. It’s not just get in the weight room and throw weights around,” Pedroia explained. “As you get older, the human body can’t take the pounding if you’re going in there and power lifting. When you’re younger, you can handle some of that. But as you get older, you got to be smarter. Sometimes less is more -- whether that’s weight or reps or whatever. You’ve just got to be smart. And eating wise, that’s a big part of recovery. If you put the right foods in your body, you’ll heal faster if you’re injured or recover faster. It’s like a car, man. Put bad gas in, bro. It’s not going to be the same as good gas.”

He hopes the approach can, at the very least, keep him moving for quite some time.

“I plan on living until I’m 100," he said. "So we’re not even halfway home."

Raptors, in pursuit of Celtics in playoff race, lose Lowry for perhaps rest of regular season

Raptors, in pursuit of Celtics in playoff race, lose Lowry for perhaps rest of regular season

The Eastern Conference playoff race, seemingly altered by the moves -- and non-moves (hello there, Celtics) -- of some of the contenders, just took another twist.

The Raptors, bolstered by the acquisition of Serge Ibaka and appearing poised to make a run toward the top of the standings after a come-from-behind victory over the Celtics on Friday, were hit with a body blow Monday when it was announced All-Star point guard Kyle Lowry needs surgery on his right wrist and may miss the remainder of the regular season.

ESPN reports Lowry is expected to be sidelined from four to eight weeks. Toronto hopes to have him back for the playoffs.

The Raptors are currently in fourth place in the conference at 35-24, trailing Cleveland (40-17), Boston (38-21) and Washington (34-23). Without Lowry, and facing a rough, six-of-their-next-seven-games-on-the-road stretch, Toronto may stop focusing on catching the Wizards and/or Celtics and focus on holding off Atlanta (32-26) in order to hold onto home-court in the first round.

Lowry, 30, who missed the last two games because of the injury, is averaging a career-best 22.8 points per game. He also is averaging 6.9 assists and 4.7 rebounds.