Rex Ryan, Patriots head coach

326443.jpg

Rex Ryan, Patriots head coach

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

He's refused to genuflect and kiss the rings of The Hooded One. He's been flossin' his team since the red lights started glowing on HBO's cameras. He's had lap band surgery.

He is Rex Ryan, the Jets coach known for his brashness and oddly-white teeth. And if most New England media members had it their way, hed be leading their 9-2 team. Oh, it would be so much fun when he handfeeds them the quotes they want.

In another world it might've happened, had Bill Belichick not left the Jets for Foxborough. This is exactly how that other world would operate:

OPERATOR: It is 9:13 a.m. You are on a conference call with New England Patriots head coach Rex Ryan. Press 5 on your phone if you have a question to ask First up, we have

REPORTER 1: Rex, you have a long week to prepare for hosting the 9-2 Jets. Coach Belichick is giving his players considerable time off. Can yours expect the same?

REX: Yeah, a mini Bye Week sounds good right about now. Giving them three days off.

REPORTER 1: Any sort of message delivered before setting them loose?

REX: I told em, Lets go eat a gosh darn five-course meal. Football and five-course meals: its the Patriot way.

REPORTER 2: But when you do get to work, will you be concerned about any illegal filming by the Jets after the news out of Denver?

REX: Look, if I was concerned about the Jets getting a hold of our practice footage, Hard Knocks sure as expletive wouldnt have been up my expletive all summer, would they? I know were the best team in football -- you may not know it, but I do. Of course they should want to watch and learn from the best. I'll deliver our practice footage on a silver platter if they want.

REPORTER 3: (gushing) Wow.

REX: Is that a question or are you five?

REPORTER 4: Coach, in all seriousness, do you see this is an epic battle?

REX: Well, expletive yeah I do. The Jets get all the respect in the world from you people. Oh, theyre so quiet and reserved. So what? Were loud, boisterous and not afraid of anybody. They can come in here all fat and cocky, but theyll be leaving limp and... hold on a sec. (yelling) Hey, Mike! Mike! You get me that footlong sub or what? (muffled yes in background) Extra hots? (muffled yes in background) Damn right you did. Gimme that thing. Mmm... get in my belly. (rustling paper, CHOMP, GULP, relieved sigh) All gone.

REPORTER 2: Did you even take the wrapper off that sub?

REX: Whats it to ya?

(10 seconds of awkward silence)

REPORTER 1: Coach, the Jets are known to play Bon Jovi to simulate the level of noise opposing crowds make. I know youre the home team, but what do you use?

REX: I put Vampire Weekend on blast. Those herky-jerky, smarmy vocals are torturous. Are there even lyrics to their songs, or is it just jibberish?

REPORTER 5: New York has a pretty good secondary, but your rookie is locking down every receiver he faces. Its like sticking the opponent on a desert island. Since youre the master of hype, ever think of giving him the nickname McCourty Island?

REX: Heres the problem with that idea -- too many syllables in McCourty. McCourty Island sounds stupid. And I cant be taking deep breaths to say a nickname. It defeats the purpose. But McCourtyville, thats promotable. Oh look, Braylon Edwards checks into the quiet hamlet of McCourtyville, too bad he never checks out. Boom, done.

REPORTER 3: Wowee!

REX: Reporter 3, I've got a Tonka truck in my office for you to play with. Run along.

REPORTER 1: What d'ya see in Antonio Cromartie? He's been a pleasant surprise for the Jets.

REX: Hes tough. Guy is an att-lete. Plus, he's so productive. Cromartie repeatedly produces and produces and produces and produces, and... for the sake of saving time let's just say he reproduces. A lot.

REPORTER 4: What do you consider the bigger rivalry: New York or Cleveland?

REX: Hey, you know my brother's real name is Remus? He's got long hair like an old lady librarian, too. What a expletive.

REPORTER 3: Are you going to dress up like Belichick, kind of like how you wore that wig to look like your brother?

REX: They don't make hoodies in 5XL. Alls I got are sweater vests and altered Patriots tablecloths. Next.

REPORTER 4: How about the rivalry? You never answered my question.

REX: Obviously New York is the bigger rivalry, mainly because theyre afraid of us.

REPORTER 4: Afraid? How do you know that?

REX: My dad told me a long time ago that if someone wont even engage in a war of words with you, theyre too busy focusing on stopping the shaking going on in their boots. And believe me, the Jets have a case of happy feet right now.

Alright. That'll do it for today, guys. Gotta go figure out what's for pre-lunch.

REPORTER 1: Pre-lunch?

REX: Yeah. It helps take the pressure off. You know, the pressure of trying to bring New England it's first Super Bowl.

See: Ryan is a better quote than Belichick, making the media's job easy. But easy isn't always the adjective one wants attached to his job. Or girlfriend. It promises a lack of spectacular results and a whole heap of disloyalty, respectively.

BOSTON SPORTS TONIGHT PODCAST: Is Rob Gronkowski good to go?

best_of_bst_podcast.jpg

BOSTON SPORTS TONIGHT PODCAST: Is Rob Gronkowski good to go?

00:43 - Rob Gronkowski says he's ready to go against the Texans. Michael Holley, Tom Giles and Kayce Smith talk about this risks of him playing while injured.

05:47 - Phil A.Perry follows up the Gronk discussion with a deeper breakdown of Gronk’s decision to play this Sunday.

10:02 - David Price appears to be easing back into baseball after pitching Friday night. Evan Drellich joins BST to talk about Price’s outing in Cincinnati. 

16:12 - The BST crew recaps the Red Sox win over Reds. Drellich returns to analyze how the pitchers performed and how that will impact the Red Sox postseason stretch.  

Danny Amendola embraces delayed follow-up to strong Week 1 performance

patriots-amendola-112016.jpg

Danny Amendola embraces delayed follow-up to strong Week 1 performance

This actually won’t be the first time that Danny Amendola had to wait to follow up a strong season-opener with the Pats. 

As the veteran receiver aims to return Sunday from a concussion and knee injury after leaving the Pats’ Week 1 loss early and missing Week 2 altogether, he’ll try to build a Week 1 performance that saw him lead the Pats with 100 yards on six receptions. 

The stop and start is somewhat reminiscent of Amendola’s first year with New England in 2013, when he had 10 receptions for 104 yards in the season-opener. He suffered a groin injury in that game, however, and didn’t play again until Week 5. At least the wait is shorter this time around. 

MORE: 

“I mean, there’s going to be bumps and bruises along the way, but that’s football, right?” Amendola said Friday. “But I feel really good today, feel strong, so get ready tomorrow and just continue to prepare.”

In that first game back in 2013, Amendola again led the Pats in receiving yards, but it was in a terrible offensive showing for New England. All it took was four receptions for 55 yards to be the Patriots’ best receiver in a 13-6 loss to Cincinnati in which Tom Brady had a rare scoreless game. 

If Amendola can pick up where he left off in Week 1, the Pats will be in good shape. They’re also expected to have Rob Gronkowski and Chris Hogan ready to go, but Amendola was Tom Brady’s most reliable weapon in the Chiefs game, even though Brandin Cooks made a bigger impact with two pass interference penalties drawn in the red zone. 

Not known for his durability towards the end of his time in St. Louis, this will be the fourth of Amendola’s five regular seasons in New England in which he didn’t play in all 16 games. He played the full season in 2014, 14 games in 2015 and 12 games in 2013 and 2016. 

With Julian Edelman out, Brady could certainly use Amendola’s services as often as possible. That’s especially if he plays the way he did in Week 1. 

CSNNE SCHEDULE