NHL marketing: An exercise in futility

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NHL marketing: An exercise in futility

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

The NHL, unfortunately for hockey fans, is often the distant fourth among the four major sports and if the job done by the crack team of NHL marketers for the All-Star Game is any indication, no one should really be surprised. They are a league that is so out of touch with their audience and a calendar that were surprised they can function at all.

When the commercials for the All-Star Game debuted and featured Meant to Live by Switchfoot, we immediately became worried. That song debuted in 2003 and wasnt even that good then. But hey, obviously the NHL did their homework and found out fans loved that song. Right? RIGHT?!

It only got worse. Leading up to the game, the NHL announced that Clay Aiken would sing the National Anthem. Sure hes from Raleigh, but what were the NHL marketing people smoking when they thought hockey fans would tune in to see Clay Aiken?

Aiken finished second in American Idol in 2003 and hasnt done much since. Really. Name the last song he had on the radio that isnt at least five years old. We dare you. Well wait . . .

. . . see? NHL marketing 0-2.

At least Aiken is from Raleigh, so in some weird way it almost, sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit, makes sense. Did they NHL think they would draw in new fans if they brought in Aiken? Pretty sure they over estimated his drawing power. Fans could not possibly have been less interested.

Then the NHL announced their first intermission entertainment.

Surely the NHL would pick someone relevant. Maybe a recent star. Maybe theyd look at the current Top 40 songs and pick someone, anyone, fans would recognize. The NHL then announced theyd be bringing in . . . Three Doors Down!

Wait . . . who? Didnt they have a song about 20 years ago?

When Three Doors Down started playing during the first intermission, all three of their fans in the crowd went bananas. If you listened closely, with one of those old time ear horns up to your ear, you could even hear a few Woos!

Luckily it was dark in the arena because whenever there was a speck of light during their set you could see an empty arena, fans predictably much more interested in grabbing a pretzel and a beer than seeing a band whose hit song is almost 10 years old. They couldve just played a Now Thats What I Call Music 5 CD and got the same reaction without actually have to pay Three Doors Down to appear. What did that marketing meeting look like?

When Three Doors Down eventually played their one hit, Kryptonite, there were still roughly just five people cheering. Why the NHL thought a band that hasnt been relevant since the Kennedy administration would be a big hit amongst fans beats us.

We havent seen a team of people screw up this much and be this wrong since the crew that built the Titanic said it could stand up to icebergs.

Generally when people are this bad at their jobs, they get fired. Unless you work for the NHL. No wonder theyre considered the fourth-class citizens of the sports world.

Its like that episode of South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, where the kids found a man who has been frozen for 32 months and cant cope with the fact that he has awaken in 1999. But instead of 32 months, the NHL marketing department apparently was frozen for over eight years and still thinks Three Doors Down, Switchfoot and Clay Aiken are relevant, cool and exciting.

Maybe while theyre at it the NHL can bring back that glowing puck. NHL fans loved that. And by loved with mean loathed.

We can only imagine what their To Do list for All-star weekend looked like.

Maybe someday the NHL will hire competent people that understand its audience and understand how to attract new fans. Sure, Clay Aiken probably brought the American Idol crowd over to watch hockey. Of course. Seriously.

But hey, us NHL fans are used to failure like this. Cant wait for the 2012 All-Star where Hinder will perform their hit song Lips of an Angel. Were sure that will bring in huge ratings.

Reports: Celtics engaged on Porzinigis trade talks but asking price is 'massive'

Reports: Celtics engaged on Porzinigis trade talks but asking price is 'massive'

In the hours leading up to the draft, the Knicks continue to talk to teams - including the Celtics - about a trade for Kristaps Porzingis but are seeking a "massive" return, according to multiple reports. 

Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo's The Vertical reports that the Celtics are among several teams so far unwilling to meet the Knicks' price.

Knicks president Phil Jackson is said to covet Kansas forward Josh Jackson in the draft, who many have speculated the Celtics could take with the No. 3 pick. CSN Celtics Insider Sherrod Blakely, on the Toucher and Rich this morning, proposed a potential C's package of tonight's No. 3 pick, next year's Brooklyn pick, Jae Crowder and Jaylen Brown as a potential haul for Porzingis. 

http://www.csnne.com/video/would-monster-haul-celtics-get-kristaps-porzingis

Adam Himmelsbach of The Boston Globe termed what New York is seeking as "massive" and Marc Stein of ESPN reports the Celtics "remain in pursuit."

Frank Isola of The New York Daily News says it's "the moon and two Brooklyn picks," i.e. the haul Blakely proposed - this year's No. 3 and the 2018 first-round pick from the Nets that the Celtics own from the Paul Pierce-Kevin Garnett deal, Brown and Crowder. Also, the Celtics taking on the remaining two years (at $18 million per) of Joakim Noah's contract from the Knicks could factor into the deal.

Patriots WR Malcolm Mitchell gets a new deal . . . with Scholastic Books

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Patriots WR Malcolm Mitchell gets a new deal . . . with Scholastic Books

Second-year Patriots receiver Malcolm Mitchell already had a children's book published before he was drafted last year. Now he has a three-book deal with children's book publisher Scholastic. 

The three books will include a newly-illustrated edition of his self-published first crack at the children's book genre, "The Magician Hat," according to the Associated Press. That will come out in May of next year and be followed up by two more original works. 

Mitchell has been a children's literacy advocate since before joining the Patriots. That he joined a reading club -- made up mostly of women twice his age or more -- was quickly seized upon by multiple media outlets in the build-up to last year's draft as one of the feel-good stories in that year's class of prospects. 

Mitchell has founded a youth literacy initiative called Read With Malcolm, and he's the Patriots "Summer Reading Ambassador," encouraging young students to read as much as possible during the summer months. He hosted reading rallies across New England that began in Roxbury, Mass. back in March and finished up last week at The Hall at Patriot Place.