NFL gets crazy with reparations


NFL gets crazy with reparations

By Adam Hart

The NFL, WGS has learned using its imagination, is issuing a slew of reparations for other gaffes in Dallas.

The newest reparations come in response to its steps to quell the anger of 400 fans turned away from their originally-purchased seats at Super Bowl XLV. The NFL expressing compassion? Hurry, the League's doped up or dying or something.

Problem: Christina Aguilera's dirrty National Anthem.

Compensation: One Rene Rancournament, free plus 6.95 shipping and handling.

Problem: Fans shackled to their stadium seats to make the space-age Halftime Show look appealing to the 111 million television viewers.

Compensation: One free Jumbo Pretzel, because snack time was canceled due to the shackling.

Problem: 111 million people witnessing ARod being fed popcorn by Cam Diaz.

Compensation: A bib and sippy cup. For ARod. Because he was all in a tizzy over the ordeal. Being shown on TV is considered "an ordeal" for a multi-millionaire, right?

Problem: A mis-timed -- thanks, Xtina! -- overly-expensive F-18 Flyover.

Compensation: 450,000 refunded to the U.S. government. But not if it's going to that filthy, job-killing health care bill! Or that filthy, job-killing Environmental Protection Agency. Or that filthy, job-killing ditched habit of President Obama's. With these provisions, we'll save so many jobs from being murdered.

Problem: Not one mention of Brett Favre during the entire broadcast.

Compensation: NFL Network airs Slingin' It: The Brett Favre Story every night at 7:30 until a new CBA is reached. Alex Trebek never stood a chance. Smug jerk.

Problem: Dallas' mayor literally deflated after the Super Bowl problems.

Compensation: Oh, sorry. Not literally.

Problem: Patriots weren't in the Super Bowl.

Compensation: No lockout, pending the amount of greed possessed by the owners. . . so, bank on a lockout.

Acciari notches first NHL goal in Bruins win over Predators

Acciari notches first NHL goal in Bruins win over Predators

BOSTON – It took until his 43rd game in the NHL to finally score his first goal with the Bruins, but Rhode Island native Noel Acciari said it made him appreciate it all the more when that moment finally did arrived on Tuesday night. The 25-year-old Acciari finished off a Riley Nash feed on a 3-on-1 odd-man rush that gave the Bruins an insurance goal they badly needed in a 4-1 win over the Nashville Predators at TD Garden.

Then David Pastrnak hit Acciari with a shaving cream pie to the face during the NESN broadcast as a way to commemorate his teammate’s big scoring moment, and Torey Krug immediately fished the puck out of the net to make certain that Acciari would get it.

So it was the best of both worlds with the team-oriented Acciari, who watched his Bruins win to go right along with his hallmark scoring moment that he’ll remember forever.

“Your first NHL goal is a special feeling and to finally have it, you know, like I said before I couldn’t have done it without the other guys, the other four, five guys on the ice. But it feels good,” said Acciari, who has a goal and four points in 24 games this season in Boston. “It just shows you how special it is. It’s not going to come the first game you play; it could come 10, 20, for me probably over 40, but it still feels the same.”

Clearly it’s more about providing a physical, heavy and aggressive opponent when Acciari suits up for the Black and Gold, and it’s less about providing offensive production that’s really a bonus from the fourth line. The focus on throwing hits, aggravating opponents and playing with extra energy have been a big part of Acciari’s game since his return from Providence, and that is absolutely been by design.

“I think I kind of strayed [from my strengths] when I got back from my injury – I kind of strayed away from the hitting game,” said Acciari. “Just getting in on the fore-check and, you know, just kind of getting back to that down in Providence was huge and kind of get my confidence up down there helped out a lot. So when I got the call up I was ready for anything.”

He’s certainly played like he was ready for anything while posting a goal and two points along with a plus-4 in his first four games back for the Bruins organization. Acciari did all of that while leading everybody in Tuesday night’s game with eight registered hits in the win over Nashville. So the 5-foot-10, 208-pound Acciari gave a pretty good example against the Predators of just what he can do with steady ice time and the trust of his teammates as all of the hockey clubs in the East gear up to finish strong for the playoffs.

Now all Acciari has to do is continue to play consistently, punish opposing players and chip in a little offense from time and time as he carves out a permanent role on Boston’s fourth line, and helps his team win a few along the way. 

Florio on issues NFL may face with Raiders in Las Vegas

Florio on issues NFL may face with Raiders in Las Vegas

Mike Florio joins Quick Slants to discuss the problems of the Raiders moving to Las Vegas, and the latest NFL rule changes.