The next great in-game hit!

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The next great in-game hit!

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

A woman I know recently turned down an interesting job opportunity. But I've always been a fan of the "Show, don't tell" rule in writing, so here's the play-by-play.

TV PRODUCER 1: To woman Thanks for coming in and listening to our proposal. We've enjoyed your work in the sports media industry and think this opportunity is right up your alley.
FEMALE REPORTER: Thanks! I appreciate it. What's the concept?

TV PRODUCER 2: The Bruins really don't get the play they should in this city; we want to change that.

FEMALE REPORTER: Sounds great. You're right that hockey doesn't get the attention it deserves from Boston media.

TV PRODUCER 1: Excellent. So here's what we're thinking: we'll have you go to every game, both at home and on the road. Does that sound feasible?

FEMALE REPORTER: Nods Absolutely. I'm willing to make that commitment to the right project.

TV PRODUCER 1: Smiles Great! So, at some point during the second period of every game we'll have you hop on out to the concourse for a three or so minutes.

FEMALE REPORTER: The concourse? Hrm. That's certainly different.

TV PRODUCER 2: Chuckles Well, that's where the booze is, silly!

FEMALE REPORTER: Looks confused Excuse me?

TV PRODUCER 2: We don't want you to get in Naoko Funayama's way or anything while she's reporting and doing player interviews.
TV PRODUCER 1: Exactly! We're thinking for the first segment that we have you chug a beer. Just one to start, you know?

TV PRODUCER 2: The WHOLE thing, of course.
TV PRODUCER 1: Of course!

FEMALE REPORTER: Slowly shaking head Wait, wait. During the game? Beer? I don't understand....

TV PRODUCER: But that's not all! We're thinking keg stands and body shots during the playoffs!

TV PRODUCER 1 and TV PRODUCER 2 high-five.
FEMALE REPORTER: Covers face with hands There are so many things wrong with this... First of all, I can't drink at work. What the hell are you thinking?! What does this have to do with being a reporter? How will this shine a brighter light on the Bruins?

TV PRODUCER 2: You're reporting on each venue. See, we'll get a feel for each city and talk to some of the local vendors.

TV PRODUCER 1: EVERYBODY wants to know about the vendors.

TV PRODUCER 2: Right. See, we'll really be diving into the culture of hockey. Bruins hockey is all about people. And what do people do at sporting events? They get hammered! This segment will be gritty, it'll be real. Remember -- it's about the people.

TV PRODUCER 1 and TV PRODUCER both tent their hands and look expectantly at FEMALE REPORTER. FEMALE REPORTER: Pauses Are you guys drunk right now?

TV PRODUCER 1 and TV PRODUCER 2 look at each other. They look back at FEMALE REPORTER.
TV PRODUCER 1: I'd call it a "good buzz."

TV PRODUCER 2: Yeah. Good Buzz.
TV PRODUCER 1: Watch this video. This is proof of the brilliance of this concept.

FEMALE REPORTER: Stands Go to hell. Seriously. Walks out
TV PRODUCER 1 AND TV PRODUCER 2 sit for a moment before grabbing 40s from a mini-fridge. They hit replay on the video.

TV PRODUCER 1: Good stuff.
TV PRODUCER 2: Great stuff.

Video ends. TV PRODUCER 1 AND TV PRODUCER 2 are quiet for a moment.

TV PRODUCER 1: We can find somebody else to do the Bruins Booze hits.

TV PRODUCER 2: Swallows beer Yup. We can.

Stars, studs, duds: Jae Crowder scores game-high 6 3-pointers

Stars, studs, duds: Jae Crowder scores game-high 6 3-pointers

BOSTON – Here are the Stars, Studs and Duds from Boston’s 123-111 Game 1 win over the Washington Wizards in their best-of-seven series. 

STARS

Isaiah Thomas: To be effective with all that he’s dealing with from an emotional standpoint continues to amaze us all. Thomas, just 24 hours removed from his younger sister’s funeral, delivered yet another gem of a game with 33 points on 11-for-23 shooting with nine assists with just two turnovers.

John Wall: Showing he’s more than just a guard with speed who can score, Wall finished with a double-double of 20 points on 9-for-20 shooting, to go with a game-high 16 assists.

STUDS

Jae Crowder: The Celtics needed a solid complimentary scorer to Isaiah Thomas, and Crowder was that dude during a critical third quarter stretch for Boston. He finished with a playoff career-high 24 points on 8-for-14 shooting with six rebounds. 

Bradley Beal: Half of one of the NBA’s best backcourts, Beal showed a much-improved postseason perimeter game. Having shot less than 30 percent on 3’s in Washington’s first-round series with Atlanta, Beal was 4-for-7 from long range which was part of his team high 27 -point game. 

Al Horford: Once again Horford flirted with a triple-double, scoring 21 points on 10-for-13 shooting, to go with 10 assists and nine rebounds with a blocked shot.  

Otto Porter Jr.: He was one of the few players for the Wizards whose plus/minus in Game 1 was positive (+3). He had 16 points on 7-for-10 shooting to go with 11 rebounds and two steals. 

Avery Bradley: The numbers don’t always tell the story when it comes to Bradley’s impact. He didn’t shoot the ball particularly well in Game 1, but he still managed to score 18 points on 7-for-20 shooting, in addition to grabbing five rebounds with four assists and four steals.

Kelly Oubre Jr.: He was a major factor in Washington’s fast start and with Markieff Morris’ knee injury, he may wind up starting Game 2. He finished with 12 points off the bench, shooting 5-for-8 from the field.

DUDS

Gerald Green: The Celtics remain undefeated with Green in the starting lineup, but his impact on Game 1 was nowhere to be found. He played just seven minutes without taking a single shot from the field. The only stat he registered was a turnover while his plus/minus on the floor was -13.

Taiwanese broadcaster had shocking call for Manny Ramirez's homer

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Taiwanese broadcaster had shocking call for Manny Ramirez's homer

A Taiwanese announcer's call outshined Hanley Ramirez's homer.

In a video that made rounds on the internet Sunday, the Taiwanese broadcaster delivered a laughable response to Ramirez's homer.

"This ball is long gone! Just like the ex-girlfriend who will never return! Home run!" the man yelled.

The hit took place a few years ago when he was in the Taiwanese league. He is now playing in Japan. But frankly, he many never have another home run as epic as that one. And he certainly won't get a call as epic as that one.

Watch the video in the tweet below.