A Texans Guarantee?

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A Texans Guarantee?

Over the last few days, theres been a ton of conversation both locally and nationally surrounding a recent column by the Boston Globes Dan Shaughnessy.

In case you missed it, Shaughnessy used his space in Sundays paper to make an over-the-top guarantee about this week's PatriotsTexans game. "Pass Go and collect 200," he wrote. "The Patriots are in the AFC title game."

What happened next?

Well, for a multitude of reasons (most of which pretty much disprove the existence of God), the column went viral, somehow ended up in Arian Fosters Twitter avatar and has since become a 'round-the-clock talking point for media folks nationwide.

Of course, from a Patriots perspective, the biggest concern stemming from Shaughnessy's think piece is that it provides unnecessary inspiration and bulletin board material for a team that already has enough.

But thankfully, it seems one Houston-area writer has set out to even the score. His name is Shaughn Daniels (@shaughndaniels) and he's a columnist from the Galveston Globe. I'm not going to link to his story because Daniels clearly only wrote it to stir the pot, troll the masses and get a few cheap clicks. I don't want to support that.

But at the very least, maybe spreading his nonsense can provide a little extra motivation for the Pats, and offset whatever damage was done by the Dean Wormer of the Boston sports media scene.

Read on at your own risk . . .

Destiny Awaits Texans
By: Shaughn Daniels
Galveston Globe columnist (@ShaughnDaniels)

Houston we have a problem . . .

A NEEDING-TO-BUY-SUPER-BOWL-TICKETS PROBLEM!The 2012-13 Houston Texans have been waiting all season for this moment, and their master plan has finally fallen into place. Mark it down, gang: February 3, 2013 your Houston Texans are headed to New Orleans.Catch my drift?I mean, seriously? In the business, we call this a lock. We call this destiny. Only road games against the Patriots and Broncos stand between Houston and their first-ever Super Bowl appearance? Thats right, Texans fans. Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, because thats what its all about. The Promised Land.Isnt it?My point is that theres no chance in hell that the Texans lose to the new-age choke artists on Sunday. The Patriots? Ha! What is this 2005?! NOT. The days of New England coming up big when it matters most are over. Anyone can see that. Do you know what I mean?

The regular season is well and good, my friends. But lately, when the Patriots get to the playoffs, they end up going directly to jail. They don't pass GO. It's not a race. It's not a chase. They don't hurry up and feed their face. They lose. They lost to the Giants, they lost to the Jets, they lost to the Ravens, they lost to the Giants. They've lost four playoffs games in the last five years, and guess what, folks?

They were favored every time.

They choked.

That means that they will choke again. You dig? You don't need a PHD from Rice to know how predictable sports are. And this one is about as predictable as they come.

The Pats don't have a chance.

You feel me?

It's THAT easy.

NFL playoffs?

The Texans are going to win!

First of all, because Bill Belichick is one of the most fraudulent coaches in NFL history. Let's see how he would have done with David Carr under center, right? I mean, did you see what happened the one year he didn't have Brady? HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. Fraud.

Oh yeah and can this guy even coach defense anymore? Have you seen the Patriots 'D' this year? I know I haven't (Confession: I fell asleep in the first quarter of that Monday nighter). Still, New England's defense is weaker than a one-sentence paragraph. More useless than a rhetorical question. Seriously, can you imagine anything worse than the Patriots secondary?

Maybe Stevan Ridley. Or as I call him "Mr. Dropsies."

Ridley fumbles every single game. He'll obviously fumble on Sunday. And when he does, I guarantee the Texans recover. This time, I guarantee it's going to be different.

There's no way that the Patriots can contain Arian Foster and JJ Watt again. It's literally impossible. The Pats won't know what hit them. They know they got lucky last time. We all know they did.

This is the match-up the Texans have been waiting for. This is how it was always supposed to go: Lose to the Pats. Then keep losing. Just enough to guarantee a rematch and lure them into a false sense of security. It's the same move the Jets pulled two years ago and you saw how well that worked. THIS IS THE EXACT SAME THING.

The Texans have spent the last month playing dead in the weeds, while the fraudulent Patriots who haven't won a Super Bowl in eight years, and have a quarterback who's getting older and slower and less effective every week have predictability spent the time building up false expectations. Am I the only one who sees this?!

Of course not.

It's not even up for debate.

And neither is that fact that after dispatching of the pathetic chokers in New England, the Texans will cruuuuise past the Broncos. Why?

Um, have you forgotten Week 3?

Texans 31, Broncos 25, IN DENVER.

There's now way that kind of regular season dominance doesn't transfer into the playoffs. It always does! The Texans will show up at Mile High and pick up right we're they left off.

But first, they have to make a quick stop in Foxboro.

I'll see you in New Orleans.

Shaughn can be reached at shaughndaniels@gmail.com. Follow Shaughn on Twitter at http:twitter.comshaughndaniels

(And Rich can be reached at rlevine@comcastsportsnet.com. Follow Rich on Twitter at http:twitter.comrich_levine)

Patriots release OL Chase Farris with non-football injury designation

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Patriots release OL Chase Farris with non-football injury designation

The Patriots made a move on Thursday that opened up a roster spot exactly one week before the start of training camp practices. 

The team announced that it waived offensive lineman Chase Farris. It did so with a "non-football injury" designation. Farris spent most of last season on the Patriots practice squad after catching on with New England's 10-man unit in October. The former Ohio State product was a reserve option on the interior for Bill Belichick and Dante Scarnecchia. 

With Farris now out of the mix, the Patriots have 89 players on their roster and can add one more before camp begins.

Interior offensive linemen on the Patriots roster now include David Andrews, Shaq Mason, Joe Thuney, Ted Karras, Jamil Douglas and James Ferentz. A handful of rookies -- including undrafted rookies Cole Croston and Jason King -- could also see work inside.

Rookies will report to camp on July 24, and veterans will do the same by July 26. On July 27, training camp practice will be held for the first time on the fields behind Gillette Stadium. The Patriots will practice for four consecutive days at 9 a.m. to kick off camp. All practices will be free and open to the public. 

NFL scout on Garoppolo: 'Bill thinks he's got the next great one'

NFL scout on Garoppolo: 'Bill thinks he's got the next great one'

Covering the NFL for almost 20 years allows you to make relationships with a bunch of people. So I thought I'd tap into some of those people as we gear up for New England Patriots training camp for a series of pieces about topics we've been kicking around.

COMPARING THE 2007 AND 2017 PATRIOTS

The panel consists of one former Pats player still in the game, two scouts of AFC teams, one front-office member in the AFC, and one NFC scout. They all requested anonymity for obvious reasons (as the player said, "hey, I might want to end up back there!") I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had talking to these guys.

Today's topic: Why is Jimmy Garoppolo still here?

Scout 1 (AFC) -- "He's Bill Belichick. He doesn't give a [damn] about what you, or me or anyone else thinks. I know teams called about Garoppolo. I don't believe they were ever given a realistic price. Why? To me, the answer is simple: Bill thinks he's got the next great one. I watched his snaps. I think he can be that. [Garoppolo] has a great base, and his mechanics are close enough to [Brady] that you appreciate his willingness to learn and the coaching he's gotten there."

Scout 2 (AFC) -- "I absolutely loved the kid coming out of college. When we interviewed him, [it was obvious] he's got those qualities you want in a QB, as a leader. I begged our guys to take him at the end of the first round. That's how good I thought he was then. He's a hell of a lot better now. The job Bill and [offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels] have done with him, the work he clearly has put in, wrap all that up and it makes all the sense in the world to keep him. They can win with him. That's all you need to know -- in my opinion -- as to why they kept him. The moment that Brady guy starts to show cracks, the next guy is in already there, already knows the locker room, the system, the environment. I think it's genius."

Former Pats player -- "I played against him every day in practice. He's all that." Why? "He can make all the throws. He can process all the information. He is a gamer. He can slow it down. He can spin it. I'm going tell you this, if he had gotten traded to Cleveland, they're a borderline playoff team. I really believe that."

Scout 3 (NFC) -- "I know teams called and got nowhere. Easy conclusion is they see Garoppolo as the next QB. But I think it could be as simple as the value there. He's the player one snap away. Weigh that against the third guy (Jacoby Brissett) or some vet and maybe it was just too wide a gap to risk it. Keep him. See how the year plays out and then decide, do we want to franchise him? Ink him to some kind of bridge deal? Or let him go off into free agency?"

Front Office (AFC) -- "Bill knows something we don't. That's the way I read it. Whether it's Brady's future, or what they didn't see in Brissett, or something about the makeup of Garoppolo, he just couldn't part company with him. I can't say as I blame him. Finding one good QB in this league is hard enough. Two? Maybe only a handful of teams in the league can say they have that. Plus, with Bill, he's not worried about coaching for his job. He can think big picture -- two, three, four years down the line. That's not something too many other coaches/front offices in this environment get. He can afford to pass on a handful of draft picks to keep a player he really likes."