The Super Bowl drinking game

991145.jpg

The Super Bowl drinking game

Yesterday morning, I wrote about the struggles of enjoying a Patriots-less Super Bowl, and within that post I wondered: What goods a Super Bowl party when theres nothing to celebrate?

Why bother getting the band back together for a night of football and fun, when theres a decent chance that it will end with the Ravens standing on top of the world?

Above all else, why submit yourself to the aggravation of watching Ray Lewis be Ray Lewis, when you could just as easily spend the night, say . . . licking the railings at the Kenmore T stop, taking a pavement nap in the middle lane on Storrow Drive, or bathing in a tub of lukewarm dog urine?

These are important questions, but at the end of the day, let's be honest, it's going to be really hard to avoid the Super Bowl. And once you tune in assuming the game's not a total clunker it will be even harder to change the channel.

And anyway, let's not forget that this is the last NFL football game for a long, long time. Starting next week, there are no more Sunday excuses. There will be errands to run, chores to be completed and not much else to take your mind off the fact that another Monday is fast approaching. So, we might as well enjoy the game while we can. Even if it means running out to Dick's, picking up a Kaepernick jersey or even better, Moss! and rooting for the Niners like Tom Brady's life depends on it.

Of course, in this scenario, you're voluntarily placing yourself back in harm's way; susceptible to another tidal wave of disappointment. But come on. This is America! This is the Super Bowl! Kenmore, Storrow and your dog's voluminous bladder aren't going anywhere, but this is football's last hurrah. We'll miss it when it's gone.

If you're still not convinced, may I suggest incorporating alcohol into the equation?

Obviously, it's important that any "lube" as a certain QB likes to call it is ingested with a certain level of moderation and common sense, and only if it falls within the laws set forth by the United States of America. But given all that, here's a little Super Bowl drinking game that might make the experience a little more enjoyable, and help take your mind off the fact that Tom Brady will be watching the game from the same place you are his couch . . . next to his billionaire super model wife . . . inside his 20M, 22,000-square-foot LA mansion . . . which is surrounded by a moat.

Standing Room Only Super Bowl Drinking Game
(Note: The choice of beverage is entirely yours. Beer is probably the safest, but I suggest having an enormous vat of whiskey andor tequila handy in the event of a runaway Ravens victory)
Take a sip . . .
Every time you hear the phrase: "America's Most Watched Network"

Every time Phil Simms says something that makes absolutely no sense.

For every commercial that features an animal acting like a human.

For every mention in any form of HarBowl, Super Baugh, etc.

Every time Jim Nantz discusses Ray Lewis in a manner that, out of context, could be confused with a description of President Obama or The Pope.

For every sideline shot of Alex Smith holding a clipboard.

For every completion allowed by Chris Culliver (two sips if the completion is followed by one of the announcers awkwardly making reference to the Culliver "gay teammate" controversy)

For every shot of an actor or actress currently starring on a CBS show.

Anytime anyone says "PISTOL"

Take a swig . . .

For the extent of Lewis' pre-game dance routine.

After every mention of "The Blind Side"

For any shot of a 49ers fans wearing deer antlers on his or her head.

Every time the camera pans to Jack and Jackie Harbaugh.

After every Randy Moss reception (with each swig preceded by a toast: "To Randy!")

Every time the words "Joe Flacco" and "elite" are used in the same sentence.

Every time Simms says something that does make sense, but is also 100 percent false.

For every reference to Art Modell (with each swig preceded by a toast: "To Cleveland!")

For every discussion of Colin Kaepernick's tattoos.

Take an aggressive chug . . .
After every mention of the Patriots, especially the AFC Championship.

Every time Bernard Pollard knocks a player unconscious or otherwise incapacitated.

If Dan Marino makes a statement about his love child during the pregame show.

If there's a fatality in the Puppy Bowl.

Finish every drop of alcohol in the house . . .

If the game's tied with less than two minutes left, the Niners are driving, and Ray Lewis intercepts Kaepernick for a Pick Six.

Next, proceed to pack your bags and moving the family to Guam. Far, far away from the insufferable insanity that's sure to follow.

And that's it.

Enjoy the game.

If you're boozing, obviously be safe, and most definitely don't drive.

And oh yeah, here's my pick:

49ers 35, Ravens 24.

I think we can all drink to that.

Rich can be reached at rlevine@comcastsportsnet.com. Follow Rich on Twitter at http:twitter.comrich_levine

Tom Brady on Donald Trump: 'I certainly disagree with what he said'

patriots_tom_brady_092417.jpg

Tom Brady on Donald Trump: 'I certainly disagree with what he said'

After beating the Texans on Sunday, 36-33, Tom Brady didn't want to delve too deeply into what went into his locking arms with teammates during the national anthem. 

"I just think," Brady said, "there's just a great love for my teammates."

He didn't want to get into Donald Trump's comments about players kneeling for the anthem, but he was willing to go there during Monday's Kirk and Callahan Show on WEEI.

"Yeah, I certainly disagree with what he said," Brady explained. "I thought it was just divisive. Like I said, I just want to support my teammates. I am never one to say, ‘Oh, that is wrong. That is right.’ I do believe in what I believe in. I believe in bringing people together and respect and love and trust. Those are the values that my parents instilled in me. That is how I try and live every day.

"I have been blessed to be in locker rooms with guys all over the United States over the course of my career. Some of my great friends are from Florida, Virginia, New York, Montana, Colorado, Texas. The one thing about football is it brings so many guys together -- guys you would never have the opportunity to be around. Whether it was in college, and all the way into the pros. We’re all different, we’re all unique. That is what makes us all special."

Brady was one of several players locking arms on the Patriots sideline for the anthem. More than a dozen others, including Devin McCourty, took a knee. Just before and immediately after the anthem, fans booed the demonstration.

"I think everyone has the right to do whatever they want to do," Brady said of the response. "If you don’t agree, that is fine. You can voice your disagreement, I think that is great. It’s part of our democracy. As long as it is done in a peaceful, respectful way, that is what our country has been all about."

Curran: In the end, everyone stood because of the game

Curran: In the end, everyone stood because of the game

FOXBORO – The boos and demands to “Stand up!” rained down just as the Star Spangled Banner began. The players on the Patriots sideline who knelt – the ones boos and invective was directed at – stayed down. Others stood, locking arms with teammates while others stood with their hands over their hearts.

By game’s end, everyone was on their feet. Players. Coaches. Fans. Together.

Unless they left early because of traffic and a late Patriots deficit. Or because they couldn’t bear the thought of watching an NFL game on a beautiful September Sunday because the entertainers didn’t do what they wanted them to do before the performance began.

MORE:

The whole thing’s complicated. I understand why people take offense at those who don’t stand for the anthem.

I understand why others want to deliver a symbolic message about their American experience.

I completely understand why, two days after President Trump thought it appropriate to use the phrase “son of a bitch” to refer to someone making a silent, reflective statement, many NFL players felt challenged, backed into a corner and somewhat dehumanized. The message delivered was, in essence, “Shut up and dance.”

Personally, I prefer to stick to sports. I don’t think I’m equipped to talk politics because I don’t know policy, legislation, constituencies and special interests – all the things that I define as politics – well enough to drone on at anybody.

As for sociology – which is what this is about rather than politics – I have my experiences and others have theirs. I’m trying to mow my own lawn over here. You do you. I’ll do me. As long as you don’t encroach on me doing me while you do you, I’m fine. When I’m not completely self-absorbed, a respectful exchange of ideas can make me see things in a different light.

It didn’t surprise me some people at Gillette Stadium had a visceral and vocal reaction to players kneeling. The pot was brought to a boil all weekend, the lid was just lifted and it bubbled over.

But the irony of how the afternoon played out – that Brandin Cooks, a player booing fans were screaming at to stand three hours earlier brought them to their feet with his toe-tapping last-minute touchdown – was perfectly symbolic.

Ultimately, everyone was there for the football – the players, coaches, media and fans – and in the end it was the football that brought the unified response that stood in contrast to the divided reactions in the stands and on the field before the game.

“That’s what sports is,” said Patriots safety Devin McCourty. “That’s what sports does. That’s what makes them great. They bring out what we have in common.

“I don’t think people look at us as human,” McCourty said. “I don’t think they ever have. We’re just the entertainment. They don’t understand that there’s a human behind it. People want to shake your hand or have their picture taken with you but they don’t want to know you. That’s reality.”

Maybe. Or maybe people feel their voices aren’t heard. They don’t have a column they can write or a TV or radio show to spout off on. They don’t have the chance to demonstrate their individual feelings at their cubicle before the workday starts.

All they know is they spent $500 or more to get to and into with a belly full of steak tips and beer and they don’t need to feel like being reminded about somebody else’s societal oppression on their day off, thank you very much.

It’s not so much about who does what during the Star Spangled Banner as much as it is that a lot of people don’t appreciate the intrusion. That, and they’re tired of hearing how bad everyone else has it when it’s really no damn picnic for most people these days.

Believe me, there’s not unanimity of opinion in the Patriots locker room any more than there is in your office, home, dorm or neighborhood. Players of different races, backgrounds, economic circumstances and ways of expressing themselves are thrown in a pot together and told to work for a common goal and rely on each other.

The mish-mash of ways in which players responded during the anthem on the Patriots sideline, the reticence of some players to dip a toe in the conversation, McCourty’s opening statement at the podium and then his declining to take questions and Bill Belichick’s comment that he would “deal with that later” all seemed to indicate that the team itself is still working through how it expresses itself as a whole.

It’s complicated for them too.

But in the end, it was the football that bound them together. It was the game that left them jumping on each other and the fans standing and screaming and nobody thinking at all about who did what when the song played before the game.

CSNNE SCHEDULE