Mutai is the man -- sort of

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Mutai is the man -- sort of

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Let's say you're Geoffrey Mutai. You're from Kenya.

You really like running. Mostly because you're really good at it. It's also cool that your friends all run, too.

Since 2008, you've been asserting runner dominance all over the world. You've won three marathons, one half marathon, and have been on a winning senior race team. Wikipedia also tells us that you were third-place finisher at the Rotterdam Marathon in the Netherlands. Not bad.

But you wanted Boston.

You practiced in Kenya -- nothing crazy, just 130 miles a week. Still, you worried.

Boston is not so easy as other marathons, you told the Boston Herald on Saturday. I wont push the pace, but I will try my best. The weather is not so bad, you said. Its the wind that is always the trouble.

Big, big trouble.

You win the Boston Marathon in 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds. Your time is the fastest anyone has ever run the 26.2 mile distance. Ever. And it's a pretty big deal because there are, like, a lot of hills and stuff. The people in charge consider calling it the Mutai Marathon because you own it.

So you've got that weird wreath thing on your head, you're giving the thumbs-up to all the photogsand mulling over your general awesomeness...

...when some weenie in windpants from "track's international governing body" walks over to you. He leans in close, poking himself in the face on your wreath thingy.

"Um, Mutai? It doesn't count."

"What?" you say. You're still smiling. You're just so awesome.

"Your time. It doesn't count as a record," he says. He won't look you in the eye.

"But, why?"

The question makes sense. I mean, you just busted your ass for 26.2 miles. Seriously. You literally just finished running 26.2 freaking miles. People complain when they have to drive 26.2 miles to visit an aunt. Running all that way was kinda fun, but it was mostly work and your nipples are chafed.

You are Mutai. You want that record.

"Yeah, um, it was really windy today. And the course is downhill in parts" he trails off. You imagine ripping off his face. Making him run 26.2 miles in those windpants would probably hurt more. "So, yeah," he continues. "You still won and everything. It's justthe tailwind. Yeah."

Hey! Go run a marathon! Your reward for being the best is a karate chop to the throat by "track's international governing body." Mutai (you) looked happy to win, but getting a record DQ'd because of something you can't control? Gross.

Granted, I know absolutely nothing about running (except that it's evil), windpants, or Geoffrey Mutai. Maybe he likes breaking records and having them discounted.

But I doubt that.

Red Sox score 7 in 7th to beat Rangers 9-4

Red Sox score 7 in 7th to beat Rangers 9-4

BOSTON (AP)  Dustin Pedroia waved home the tiebreaking run on a wild pitch, then singled in two more during Boston's seven-run seventh inning on Wednesday night and the Red Sox beat the Texas Rangers 9-4 for their third straight victory.

Chris Sale (5-2) struck out six, falling short in his attempt to become the first pitcher in baseball's modern era to strike out at least 10 batters in nine straight games in one season. He allowed three earned runs, six hits and a walk in 7 1/3 innings and received more runs of support in the seventh inning alone than in any previous game this season.

Sam Dyson (1-5) faced seven batters in relief of Martin Perez and gave up four hits, three walks - two intentional - and a wild pitch without retiring a batter. Mike Napoli homered for Texas, which has lost three of four to follow a 10-game winning streak.