Mutai is the man -- sort of

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Mutai is the man -- sort of

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Let's say you're Geoffrey Mutai. You're from Kenya.

You really like running. Mostly because you're really good at it. It's also cool that your friends all run, too.

Since 2008, you've been asserting runner dominance all over the world. You've won three marathons, one half marathon, and have been on a winning senior race team. Wikipedia also tells us that you were third-place finisher at the Rotterdam Marathon in the Netherlands. Not bad.

But you wanted Boston.

You practiced in Kenya -- nothing crazy, just 130 miles a week. Still, you worried.

Boston is not so easy as other marathons, you told the Boston Herald on Saturday. I wont push the pace, but I will try my best. The weather is not so bad, you said. Its the wind that is always the trouble.

Big, big trouble.

You win the Boston Marathon in 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds. Your time is the fastest anyone has ever run the 26.2 mile distance. Ever. And it's a pretty big deal because there are, like, a lot of hills and stuff. The people in charge consider calling it the Mutai Marathon because you own it.

So you've got that weird wreath thing on your head, you're giving the thumbs-up to all the photogsand mulling over your general awesomeness...

...when some weenie in windpants from "track's international governing body" walks over to you. He leans in close, poking himself in the face on your wreath thingy.

"Um, Mutai? It doesn't count."

"What?" you say. You're still smiling. You're just so awesome.

"Your time. It doesn't count as a record," he says. He won't look you in the eye.

"But, why?"

The question makes sense. I mean, you just busted your ass for 26.2 miles. Seriously. You literally just finished running 26.2 freaking miles. People complain when they have to drive 26.2 miles to visit an aunt. Running all that way was kinda fun, but it was mostly work and your nipples are chafed.

You are Mutai. You want that record.

"Yeah, um, it was really windy today. And the course is downhill in parts" he trails off. You imagine ripping off his face. Making him run 26.2 miles in those windpants would probably hurt more. "So, yeah," he continues. "You still won and everything. It's justthe tailwind. Yeah."

Hey! Go run a marathon! Your reward for being the best is a karate chop to the throat by "track's international governing body." Mutai (you) looked happy to win, but getting a record DQ'd because of something you can't control? Gross.

Granted, I know absolutely nothing about running (except that it's evil), windpants, or Geoffrey Mutai. Maybe he likes breaking records and having them discounted.

But I doubt that.

Trade targets for Bruins as they enter trade deadline season

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Trade targets for Bruins as they enter trade deadline season

Joe Haggerty looks at a number of trade possibilities for the Bruins with the NHL deadline little more than a week away

Click here to view the gallery

Lowe: Wouldn't be shocked if C's move Bradley

Lowe: Wouldn't be shocked if C's move Bradley

Zach Lowe’s most recent podcast is worth a listen, as it features plenty of talk about what the Celtics may or may not due ahead of Thursday’s trade deadline. 

Lowe brought up the possibility of the Celtics top-1 or top-2-protecting Brooklyn’s first-round pick and including it in a deal for Butler. He surmises that the inclusion of the Brooklyn pick -- protected or not -- might not come until the final minutes. 

“Look, if Butler gets traded or if Paul George gets traded, that’s when it’s going to happen,” Marc Stein responded. “It’s going to happen in the last five to 10 minutes, so Boston has to make a decision, and let's see if they’re doing the math that they’ve had these assets for a while and it is time to do something bold and the time is now. Really, I think Boston will do it. The question is what will Chicago or Indiana do? And those are two hard reads.” 

Stein spoke to the Celtics’ lack of activity at certain points, but he said that if the C’s do fail to come away with a star player Thursday, it won’t be for lack of aggressiveness. 

MORE TRADE TALK

“I think the Celtics are taking criticism for waiting, and they’ve had all these assets they haven’t moved yet, but I think the record shows that Danny Ainge in general, in total, is very aggressive, not afraid to roll the dice, not afraid to make the aggressive move,” Stein said. “So I have less doubt about Boston saying, ‘Let’s just do it.’ I have far more questions about what Chicago and/or Indiana would do.” 

Lowe said that he imagines the Bulls would “think about” trading the C's Butler if Boston threw in the Nets’ pick unprotected, but added that Chicago would demand to also take two players out of Avery Bradley, Jae Crowder, Marcus Smart and Jaylen Brown. 

“I think that will be the offer and they’ll get there and Chicago will either have a moment where they say, ‘We walk away or we’ll do it.’ And Boston’s not going to throw in the other Nets pick,” Lowe said. “That’s just not going to happen.”

Rating the aforementioned foursome in terms of trade value, Lowe said that Crowder is the best piece because of his “ridiculously good” contract, followed by Brown, Smart and Bradley. 

Lowe added that he considers Bradley one of the “sneaky interesting pieces at this trade deadline” because his contract is up after next season, which is the same time that Isaiah Thomas’ contract expires. Lowe says that given the uncertainty of his future in Boston, he wouldn’t be overly surprised if Bradley is moved at the deadline.