Lawrence Taylor: Registered sex offender

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Lawrence Taylor: Registered sex offender

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

Do you remember that episode of South Park where Johnny Cochran used the Chewbaca Defense in court?

The thought of that actually happening in real life is so ridiculous that it makes the scene that much funnier. No one would ever say something that ridiculous in real life. Well, almost no one.

Soon to be registered sex offender Lawrence Taylor had an interview with Fox discussing his recently settled trial where he was busted for soliciting an underage prostitute and received six years probation. Hes probably singing this song right now.

Like most professional athletes he deflected the blame away from himself and instead said the problem is prostitution itself.

"I'm not the cause of prostitution. And sometimes I make mistakes and I may go out there, but I didn't pick her up at no playground. Taylor told Fox.

"It's the world of prostitution," he said to Fox. "You never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be a pretty girl, an ugly girl or whatever it's gonna be."

Yup, you saw it. Digging up old and worn out Forrest Gump jokes for this guy.

Taylor claims the girl told him she was 19. Oh really? Well, free pass then buddy! High five!

"You can only ask," Taylor told Fox. "I don't card them. I don't ask for birth certificate."

Maybe you should. You couldnt tell by looking at her that she may be a bit young Lawrence? She was reportedly just sixteen at the time. Sixteen year old girls, in general, tend to look really young.

Mr. Taylor probably shouldve known trouble was afoot when he called to set up a meeting with the prostitute and the person on the other end said Well send her over as soon as she finishes her third period French test!

As least Lawrence put a little romance into the conversation when he talked to Fox.

"I'm not looking for a relationship. Hey, sometimes I look for some company. It's all clean. I don't have to worry about your feelings. It's all clean. I'm not saying it's right. It's the oldest profession in the world."

Oh. Well, when you put it that way it just sounds normal. Apparently order a prostitute is just as easy as ordering a pizza when it comes to Lawrence Taylor.

Taylor seemed more upset that the got caught rather than the fact that he ordered a prostitute, one that was underage. He played the woe is me card and said things like this just happen and that now he has to answer to his wife. Here is an easy solution for you in the future Lawrence.just dont solicit prostitutes! When you get that urge, go play Xbox or something.

If youre a professional athlete and youre hooking up with prostitutes youre extra dumb. Youre famous. You have tons of money. You think no one is going to ever find out? Come on.

I guess Lawrences gig as a high school bus driver is off now?

Yeah, probably.

Will the Harris signing mean more time on the edge for Hightower?

Will the Harris signing mean more time on the edge for Hightower?

David Harris is expected to be a savvy middle linebacker who will line up his teammates when they help. He's expected to provide some level of leadership, even in his first year in New England, as an accomplished-but-hungry 33-year-old who has not yet reached a Super Bowl. 

What Harris is not expected to do is improve the Patriots pass rush. He was in on one sack in 900 snaps last season.  

But in a roundabout way he might. 

MORE: How does Derek Carr's new deal impact Jimmy Garoppolo?

There are dominos to fall now that Harris has been added to Bill Belichick and Matt Patricia's defense. How much will Harris play, and whose playing time will he cut into? Those questions don't yet have answers, but one of the more intriguing elements of the Harris acquisition is how he will benefit Dont'a Hightower's game.

If Harris can pick up the Patriots defense quickly -- and all indications are that there should be few issues there -- he could take some of the all-important communication responsibilities off of Hightower's shoulders. 

Ever since taking the reins from Jerod Mayo as the team's signal-caller, Hightower has had to be on top of all requisite pre-snap checks and last-second alignment changes. It's a critical role, and one that Hightower performs well, but those duties place some added stress on the player wearing the green dot. Perhaps if part of that load can be heaped onto Harris' plate, that might allow Hightower to feel as though he's been freed up to focus on his individual assignments.

Harris' presence might also impact where on the field Hightower is used. Hightower may be the most versatile piece on a Patriots defense loaded with them, but with Harris in the middle, Hightower could end up playing more on the edge, where he's proven he can make a major impact (see: Super Bowl LI).

For Belichick and his staff, having the ability to use one of their best pass-rushers -- and one of the most efficient rushers league-wide, per Pro Football Focus -- on the edge more frequently has to be an enticing byproduct of the move to sign Harris. Especially since there are some question marks among the team's end-of-the-line defenders behind Trey Flowers and Rob Ninkovich. 

We'll have to wait for training camp before we have an idea of how exactly Harris fits in with the Patriots defense. But the effect he'll have on his new teammates, and Hightower in particular, will be fascinating to track.