The Hard Times of RJ Umberger


The Hard Times of RJ Umberger

By Jon Fucile

There is a show on MTV called Hard Times of RJ Berger. It is a show about a nerdy little kid with a huge ummm personality.

When we first saw the show we were really happy hockey was getting more exposure. Then we realized it said R.J. Berger, not R.J. Umberger. Lame.

We would love a show that highlights how awful it is to be RJ Umberger and play for the Blue Jackets.

We still wonder what a show about Columbus Blue Jackets forward Mr. Umberger would be like..

The episode starts with a late March game at Nationwide Arena.

The Blue Jackets lose.again. Umberger and Rick Nash leave to grab a few post game drinks

Umberger stumbles upon some ladies and a seemingly interested man. Umberger takes em however he can get em

He puts the moves onand then tries to brag about playing for the Blue Jackets

He goes back to Nashs roomand Nash is there with the ladies that just left him. Nash springs up and yells Im Rick Nash Bch! and punches Umberger.

Umberger goes back down to the bar to sulk..

At the bar he runs into a midget he had previously had an altercation with. Umberger is looking for revenge and decides to try his hand at midget tossing.

The show cuts to commercial as Umberger runs for his life away from the agitated midget

As we come back from commercial it is mid April. A depressed Umberger and Rick Nash are in uniformthough not for hockey. April marks the beginning of golf season in Columbus

The show just highlights Umberger and Nash golfing for the next two months because there is nothing else to do in Columbus. So very sad.We then switch to Umberger at home watching TV and getting angry. It is early June and he is once again watching the playoffs instead of playing in them. As he once again watches a team he is not on claim a Cup he raises his fists towards the sky in anger.

Umberger dejectedly turns off the television and heads to bed. He stares at the ceiling for awhile wondering why the hell anyone would want to play in Columbus and continually set new records for futility.

He eventually falls asleep and dreams Umberger dreams.the only thing that brings him happiness

As the episode ends we talk aloud about how awesome zombies are and make fun of Columbus.

Celtics miss an opportunity in first half with LeBron in foul trouble

Celtics miss an opportunity in first half with LeBron in foul trouble

CLEVELAND – There are 240 minutes of play in an NBA game, but Boston’s 112-99 Game 4 loss to Cleveland came down to seven (six minutes and 46 seconds to be precise).

That would be the amount of time left in the second quarter that LeBron James spent on the bench with four personal fouls (a first for him in the first half of an NBA playoff game ever) and Boston ahead by 10 points.

Boston could not have asked for a better scenario than that, especially considering how well they had played up to that point in the game and again, knowing that James wasn’t about to set foot back on the court until the third quarter.

But here’s the problem.

Boston’s 10-point lead when James left with four fouls.

Halftime rolled around and Boston’s lead was still at just 10 points.

Celtics players agreed that not finding a way to increase their lead with James out was among the more pivotal stretches of play in Game 4.

“They did a really good job of not letting it (the 10-point lead) get out of control while he was on the bench,” Boston’s Marcus Smart told “Every time we scored, they came back and scored.  They answered back with everything we answered.”

While many will point to that stretch as a time when the Celtics failed to make the necessary adjustments to increase their chances of winning, it wasn’t as if the Cavs are a one-man team.

“They still have two All-Stars out on the court,” said Boston’s head coach Brad Stevens, referring to Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love. “With the best player in the world they go to unreal, but they’re still a pretty darned good team when those guys are out there.”

Irving had a playoff career-high 42 points which included him scoring 12 of Cleveland’s 14 points in the final 6:46 of the second with James on the bench.

“He’s one of the best point guards in the NBA, and you know, you can tell he puts in a lot of work in his game, a lot of respect from myself, my teammates,” said Avery Bradley. “We have to do a better job at defending him as a unit, trying to make everything hard on him. He definitely got a great rhythm going tonight, and I felt like we had a chance to make it harder on him.”

James still finished with a strong stat line for the night – 34 points, six assists, five rebounds and a blocked shot.

As good as he was on the court, the Celtics have to be kicking themselves for not doing more with the time James on the bench in the second quarter which in hindsight, was among the bigger factors in them now returning home facing elimination as opposed to being tied at two games apiece in this series.

“What are you going to do?” said Cleveland’s Kevin Love. “You have to continue to fight through it. At halftime, we were down 10. We made some adjustments on the defensive end and we just fought; we needed to. They got everything out of us tonight in that second half, but we played more inspired basketball as well.”

Stars, studs and duds: Celtics don't take advantage of LeBron's foul trouble

Stars, studs and duds: Celtics don't take advantage of LeBron's foul trouble

CLEVELAND – Here are the Stars, Studs and Duds from Tuesday night’s Game 4 matchup between Boston and Cleveland which ended with the Cavs rallying for a 112-99 win. Boston now trails Cleveland 3-1 in the best-of-seven series.



Kyrie Irving

He was simply the best player on the floor by a mile in Game 4 as he tallied a career playoff-high 42 points with 21 coming in the pivotal third quarter.

LeBron James

Despite picking up four personal fouls in the first half – a first for him in a playoff game ever – James bounced back with a dominant performance. He finished with 34 points, 15 of which came in the decisive fourth quarter. He also had six assists and five rebounds.



Jae Crowder

He continues to be one of the more consistent Celtics in this series. In Game 4, he had 18 points on 6-for-12 shooting with eight rebounds and four assists.

Kevin Love

Most of Game 4, Kevin Love found ways to make life difficult for the Celtics. He ended up with a double-double of 17 points and 17 rebounds with five assists and two blocked shots.

Avery Bradley

Boston’s Game 3 hero couldn’t deliver like that in Game 4, but Bradley still managed to score a team-high 19 points to go with five rebounds, three assists and two steals.



Boston’s sense of urgency

They had the Cavs in prime position to be beaten. But they didn’t play with the kind of effort and focus in the second half, that we saw through most of the first. And that 6:46 stretch in the second quarter when LeBron James was on the bench, and they didn’t increase their lead? That was a major, major factor in the game’s outcome.