Get psyched for Qatar 2022!

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Get psyched for Qatar 2022!

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

"Qatar?!" you might be saying, pronouncing it like this robot lady.

Yes, this Middle Eastern countryemirate landed the title of host of the 2022 World Cup, beating out Bill Clinton and the United States of America. Here's why:

1) Sure, it's parked in the same neighborhood as Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Oman and Yemen. But I hear they all recycle.

2) They're running out of ways to spend our oil monies.

3) You remember those female Dutch fans tossed out for rogue advertising? Tell them to stay home. The most reliable source in the world, The Internet, explains: "It doesn't need a very deep understanding of the culture here to realise that showing your stomach and thighs here is deeply offensive to locals." Finally, soccer fans won't be distracted by any of this. Or this. Except they might be, because the internet is a dirty, rotten liar.

4) Things promise to get weird -- two Vuvuzelas.

5) Average highs range from 106 to 111 degrees over the month-long span of June 11th to July 11th. "Woah, that's wicked hot!" Don't fret, it bottoms out at a cool 84 degrees. All start times will be from midnight to 5 a.m. local time, which means a more productive workday for Americans pretending to be interested in soccer.

6) The Qatari bid committee asked the right question:

7) Just kidding. They obviously replaced "Philly" with "Qatar" in this Southwest spot. Who could ever turn down the "Well, there's a lot, a lot of culture here" line?

8) Just throwing them a bone. The world won't be around to celebrate any type of cup -- World, Stanley or Solo -- in 2022 anyway. You know it, I know it, Lil' Wayne knows it:

"The world about to end in 2012 anyway. 'Cause the Mayans made calendars, and they stop at 2012. I got encyclopedias on the bus. The world is gonna end as we know it. You can see it already. A planet doesn't exist: There's no more Pluto. Planes are flying into buidlings -- and not just the Twin Towers, but dudes who play baseball Cory Lidle are flying planes into buildings. Mosquitoes bite you and you die. And a black man and woman are running for president!"

Encyclopedia don't lie.

9) Red Sox ownership bought Liverpool, an EPL team. Maybe this'll teach those pesky Americans to stick to their puny MLS.

10) The Middle East has never, ever hosted a World Cup. Sharing is caring.

That about wraps it up. There's no life lesson or snarky closing line. Go in peace and read something else on Wicked Good Sports.

How dominant has Craig Kimbrel been? The numbers are eye popping

How dominant has Craig Kimbrel been? The numbers are eye popping

Remember that infield hit by Jonathan Villar of the Brewers off Craig Kimbrel on May 11 in Milwaukee?

Don't worry, nobody does. That's the last hit off the Red Sox closer. That's right. One hit this month.

How dominant has Kimbrel been? Going into Saturday, right-handed hitters don't have a hit off him in their past 39 at-bats. Opponents are hitting .083 against him. Move the decimal point and 0.83 happens to be his season ERA, too, to go with 13 saves. 

Here's more via @SoxNotes:

Kimbrel, 28, has been one of baseball's best closers for years with the Atlanta Braves and San Diego Padres. His first year in Boston last season was solid with 31 saves and a 3.40 ERA, but his walks climbed (30 total and 5.1 per 9 innings, the second-highest totals of his career). He also struggled in non-save situations.

There's been no struggling lately. The last run Kimbrel gave up was a home run by Kendrys Morales of the Blue Jays in the ninth inning on April 20 in Toronto that tied the score at 1 in a game won by the Red Sox 4-1 in 10. Kimbrel got the win and his only blown save of the season.

His three-out save Friday night was his first outing without a strikeout since a one-out save April 23. That followed his four-strikeout inning Thursday night.