Further proof that Duke is ridiculous


Further proof that Duke is ridiculous

By Mary Paoletti

Deadspin just introduced me to an absurd fan letter. It's short, so we'll go through it together. Author's words are in italics; my commentary is in bold.

Let's go:
CONTEST: How Crazie are you?By Dennis Chen and Elizabeth ChenMarch 22, 2011

We just returned from watching Dukes nail biting win over the Wolverines and we were whole-heartedly dismayed by the lack of passion exhibited by the Duke students in attendance. The Wolverine fans unarguably out-cheered the notorious Crazies from beginning to end.

ZOMG THAT'S WHY DUKE LOST THE BASKETBALL GAME! Wait, they won. So the problem is that the Duke fans lost the cheering contest. But it wasn't actually a contest, right? I'm confused.
As hard as the Duke cheerleaders and pep band tried, they werent able to get the Crazies off their butts for the first 25 to 30 minutes of the game.

But I thought Duke's fans were called the "Cameron Crazies." Don't they melt if they step outside their Gymnasium of Evil and into sunlight? Maybe I'm missing something.
There must be a hardcore contingent of "Crazies" that travel.

Anyway. They failed. Or, the cheerleaders and pep band failed, I don't know. I'm getting lost in this convoluted process. But, again, Duke did win the game so I'm not feeling the urgency here.

We know the seats at Time Warner Cable Arena are more comfortable than the shoe-worn bleachers of Cameron Indoor, but we would hope that Dukes quest for a back-to-back championship would be enough motivation to get the Duke students to cheer for every offensive and defensive series.

Okay, that makes sense.
Coach K needs to focus 100 percent of his time on his players and the game,

Right again.
and he shouldnt have to personally pump-up the crowd like he did in the second half.
Dennis and Elizabeth are on a roll now!

In an effort to take some of the burden off Coach K,
Oooh. Timeout. "Burden"? That's a strong word. I'm not comfortable putting Krzyzewski's effort to pump up the crowd on par with, I don't know, F.D.R.'s battle with polio.
we would like to sponsor the airfare and cost of admission for the most passionate Duke student to attend the rest of the Duke Mens NCAA tournament games and be a rally captain to lead the Crazies in 40 minutes of cheering to try and give our Blue Devils a home court advantage away from Cameron.

Wait...what? Do you even know how much that would cost? BRB -- need to surf the internets.
-- 11 minutes later --

Flight to Anaheim, CA departing March 23, departing March 28 (assuming Duke makes the Elite 8 and I have to come back to work on Monday): 671Five nights at Days Inn Anaheim Buena Park (Is this even near where the game is being played?): 275Ticket to Thursday's games in really crappy section: 275Ticket to Saturday's games in really crappy section: 188 (But you know that price gets jacked if Duke beats Arizona. And if Duke plays UConn in the Elite 8, multiply the price by 10)Total price of Duke making it ONLY to Elite 8: 1409Do you know how much tickets to the NCAA championship cost? YOUR SOUL. AND YOUR MOM'S SOUL, TOO.

To be considered, post a short 1-minute video to YouTube pleading your case and copy the link in the comments section of this letter on the Duke Chronicle website by noon on Wednesday. Go Duke!!
Dennis and Elizabeth Chen

There is only one thing to do with a contest like this: Sabotage.

Some diehard fan (I propose one from UConn, but UNC would be fun, too) should do her... or his... damndest to win and take the free ride.

And when Duke is down double-digits to Arizona, the hundreds of Cameron Crazies look to their brazen "rally captain" to up the obnoxiousness. It's then that said captain will rip off her... or his... Duke hoodie to reveal her true identity.

The Cameron Crazies would be completely deflated, their sense of entitlement being smacked down by treason. Of course, Duke will probably win the basketball game, but the fans would be devastated and that's clearly all that matters.

It would be glorious. It would be justice.

...It should be me.

Blount on free agency: 'I definitely want to go back to New England'


Blount on free agency: 'I definitely want to go back to New England'

LeGarrette Blount knows where he wants to be for 2017. Ever since he re-joined the Patriots in 2014 following a short stay in Pittsburgh, the 250-pound back has been very open about how he wants to play out the rest of his career in New England. 

Those feelings haven't changed, even as he faces free-agency after having recorded the best season of his seven-year career.

"I just want to make sure that I go to this free agency with an open mind, knowing that I definitely want to go back to New England," he told NFL Total Access on Monday. "I love it there. I love the culture. I love the players. I've become close with a lot of the guys. Obviously you know how my running back group is.

"We'll cross that bridge whenever we cross it. On that point, I feel great. I'm in amazing shape. I feel like I could play 100 more years if I have to."

Blount finished 2016 with career-highs in attempts (299) yards (1,161) and touchowns (18). His ability to help the Patriots close games in the fourth quarter was notable throughout the course of the season, and he was among the most effective goal-line backs in the league. His 18 rushing scores are a franchise record.

Toward the end of the season, as Dion Lewis worked his way back into the Patriots offense, Blount had his workload cut into, and his fumble in the Super Bowl was a near-catastrophic moment -- his devastated reaction to which was caught expertly by NFL Films. But a big-picture view of Blount's year would reveal that he  posted the most prodictive "big back" season the Patriots have had in more than a decade.

Blount signed a one-year deal with the Patriots last offseason after seeing his 2015 prematurely ended by way of a hip injury. He turned 30 in December.

Magic Johnson named Lakers president of basketball ops, Kupchak fired

Magic Johnson named Lakers president of basketball ops, Kupchak fired

Magic Johnson was named the Los Angeles Lakers' president of basketball operations after longtime Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak and vice president of basketball ops Jim Buss were fired, the team announced.

"Today I took a series of actions I believe will return the Lakers to the heights [late owner] Dr. Jerry Buss demanded and our fans rightly expect,” Jeanie Buss, Jerry Buss' daughter, Jim Buss' brother and Lakers president and co-owner, said in a statement. “Effective immediately, Earvin Johnson will be in charge of all basketball operations and will report directly to me. Our search for a new General Manager to work with Earvin and Coach Luke Walton is well underway and we hope to announce a new General Manager in short order. Together, Earvin, Luke and our new General Manager will establish the foundation for the next generation of Los Angeles Lakers greatness.”

Johnson, the Hall of Famer guard who led L.A. to five NBA titles, said in the same statement: “It’s a dream come true to return to the Lakers as President of Basketball Operations working closely with Jeanie Buss and the Buss family. Since 1979, I’ve been a part of the Laker Nation and I’m passionate about this organization. I will do everything I can to build a winning culture on and off the court. We have a great coach in Luke Walton and good young players. We will work tirelessly to return our Los Angeles Lakers to NBA champions.”

Johnson, part of a group that owns MLB's Los Angeles Dodgers, returned to the organization as an adviser earlier this month. Johnson coached the Lakers briefly in the 1993-94 season, going 5-11. 

Johnson's new job with the Lakers won't change his role with the Dodgers, according to the L.A. Times.

The current Lakers have the third-worst record in the NBA at 19-39 after finishing with the second-worst mark in the league (17-65) last season. Kupchak was named an assistant GM under Jerry West in 1986 and in 2000 took over for West as GM.