Florida Gators sex question weird AND nonsensical


Florida Gators sex question weird AND nonsensical

By Mary Paoletti

Florida ended BYU's We're-Not-Actually-A-Cinderella run last night with an 83-74 overtime win. When rooting around for post-game stuff, I found a pre-game piece from the Orlando Sentinel. The story included this:

"Sweet 16 question of the day: How many players would the Florida Gators, BYU's opponent tonight, have eligible if UF forbade sexual relations?"

Interesting. Interesting in a way that makes no sense.

Here's why.

Kids who go to BYU know about the whole 'Mormons and no premarital sex' thing.
Kids who go to Florida know that there is no 'Mormons and no premarital sex' thing.

Kids who have sex before marriage at Florida might fear their Mamas' shame, venereal disease and other stuff, but they don't have to worry about appearing before an Honor Code Office.
Kids at BYU who have sex before marriage at BYU have to fear their Mamas' shame, STDs, and institutional discipline.

If the Gators also weren't allowed to get horizontal, they 'wouldn't' just like the BYU kids 'don't.' So the number of eligible players would be, in theory, the same as BYU's number: All but one.

But the Gators ARE allowed to get horizontal.

Let's assume, for the sake of reality, that all of them then do. If the team suddenly had the BYU Honor Code slapped on them for the Sweet 16, zero would be eligible.

BUT they went in to the Sweet 16 not knowing about the brand new eligibility rule, so there was no reason NOT to get horizontal and therefore the eligibility standards wouldn't be valid.

See what I mean? BYU players have a practical reason to not get busy. Gators -- beyond moral crisis (lolz) --do not. You cannot compare the two.

Since there's no logical way to make sense of it the question that was essentially asked at the press conference was, "How many of your players, Billy Donovan, are currently hitting the business?"

And that's just weird. As well as nobody's business.

Donovan handled it well. He did have other options, though.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently making whoopie?
Donovan: Im not entertaining nor addressing nobodies.
Reporter: My name is Mike. Can you clarify your comment?
Donovan: Winks Next question.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently taking rolls in the hay?
Donovan: I already answered that.
Reporter: What? No you didn't.
Donovan: I said already answered that. Shut up or I'll punch you in your face.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently knocking boots?
Donovan: I don't know, but if any do it's just a bad mistake. Just a bad mistake.
Reporter: A bad mistake in the decision or a bad mistake in execution?
Donovan: It was a bad mistake. I just said that.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently bumping uglies?
Donovan: Thinks hard Fourteen. No, wait, thirteen. Maybe it is fourteen....
Reporter: Can you give names?
Donovan: Ask your Mama.
Reporter: What?!
Donovan: Get outta' here, you weirdo.

Jae Crowder: Bucks came out and "hit us in the mouth" early, good test

Jae Crowder: Bucks came out and "hit us in the mouth" early, good test

Jae Crowder and Brad Stevens react to the Celtics loss to the Bucks on Wednesday night, followed by Kyle Draper and Brian Scalabrine talking about where this loss leaves Boston in the race for the top spot in the Eastern Conference.

Haggerty: Bruins plan to take it slow with McAvoy, unless . . .

Haggerty: Bruins plan to take it slow with McAvoy, unless . . .

BRIGHTON -- Nobody doubts that 19-year-old Charlie McAvoy is going to be a game-changer down the road for the Boston Bruins.

The Boston University sophomore, expected to be in the NHL next season, is the crown jewel of a draft-and-development movement led by general manager Don Sweeney over the last three years. And if McAvoy hits the ground running with the Providence Bruins over the weekend, he may even make his NHL debut with the Bruins sometime in the next 10 days, even though playing in as much as a single game with Boston this season would burn a year off his entry-level contract.

"[The NHL] is still to be determined. It will be contract first and [the AHL] as a good first step for us," said Sweeney after signing McAvoy to an ATO (Amateur Tryout Agreement). "He's made the decision to leave [college] and we're excited about that process. It leaves some options open [for McAvoy], but first and foremost gets him playing and acclimated to pro hockey."

But there's also the reality that a 19-year-old like McAvoy is going to face challenges in pro hockey. Mastering the defenseman position at the NHL level is an extremely complicated process. It's the reason we see a lot more teenage forwards take the league by storm than teenage D-men, who typically need more development time in the AHL to hone their skills at both ends of the rink.

"[The challenge] would be getting him to figure out what works at this level and what doesn't, just like if he were in Providence," said interim coach Bruce Cassidy about the theoretical possibility of McAvoy playing in Boston soon. "We've used seven defensemen here over the last eight weeks and they've done a good job for us, so we'd have to see where he fit in and go from there . . . I've seen him here and there, but I don't know enough about his individual game at this point to know what he would specifically need to do . . .

"[Defense] is a tougher position in the NHL because mistakes are magnified. If you're a forward you've got another layer of defense to support you, so you can get away with some of that stuff. I think that's why you see generally that most of the rookies that age in the NHL are forwards."

Torey Krug signed with the Bruins out of college five years ago and had a one-game cameo with them before spending the entire next season in Providence. Krug says now that, looking back, he knows he wasn't ready to play in the NHL coming out of school and needed a season to sort things out defensively against bigger, stronger, smarter and faster opponents.

"The speed itself wasn't much of an issue, but if you fall asleep even for a second it's going to turn into a scoring chance for the other team," Krug said of the adjustment from college hockey to the NHL. "These games are not easy to play in, even for veterans in the league . . .

"I thought offensively I was ready [right away], but defensively I had a lot to learn. It's a tough league to play in. Offensively it was fun, but defensively I had my share of hiccups realizing I had to go down to Providence to work on some things."

McAvoy isn't expected to follow Krug's path. He'll get development opportunities at the AHL level at the end of this season just like fellow young D-man Brandon Carlo, who used last spring's AHL experience to vault directly into the NHL this season as a 19-year-old playing top-four minutes right from opening night.

It's also the track taken by Zach Werenski last year with the Columbus Blue Jackets. An AHL playoff run fully prepped him for his breakout season as the league's best rookie defenseman.

"It's a long time ago, but I used that [ATO] myself as a benefit and I've always been an advocate of it, and I think Robbie O'Gara, Danton Heinen and Carlo all [did it]," said Sweeney. "All the players that have been able to come on and play at a very high level against men, generally in a playoff stretch drive or the playoffs themselves, it's a unique [experience].

"When you first turn pro, you're introduced to it at a really high level and you have to adjust to it on the fly. It's about structure and understanding the voices you're hearing. And reading and reacting at the pro level are all very important [skills]. [I think] it's a great on-the-job training exercise and right now Brandon is the best example of it. He's been able to jump into our lineup this year, and that's a testament to him and also the work he did last year."

So the Bruins should take their time with McAvoy, though also allow that he could be a dominant exception to the rule and become a force right out of the chute. It certainly appears Sweeney is going to leave that door ajar,  to make sure the Bruins don't miss out on anything with a young defenseman who's already drawn comparisons to Norris Trophy winner Drew Doughty.