Fenway Park is a mess

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Fenway Park is a mess

By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com

Holy cow. Fenway Park is an absolute mess. Its like a frat house on Yawkey Way. National Lampoon wishes it could come up with hijinx as crazy as the 2011 Boston Red Sox.

Take, for starters, the story about some of the Sox pitchers, during their off-days, were drinking in the clubhouse. It would explain for a lot of the crappy outings.

Someone should tell the boys you need usually need to win something before you can start drinking in the locker rooms. Booze mightve helped the Sox the World Series during the Era of the Idiots, but booze helped crumble the Sox in 11. John I cant believe I have to deal with this Lackey is no Kevin Millar.

But I suppose thats what you have to expect when half your pitchers appear in a crappy country music video about loving beer.

Maybe they shouldve been listening to more Queen instead.

And who gets blamed for all this rabblerousing and partying? The babysitter, of course.

Instead of disciplining the children, Daddy Henry, Daddy Larry and Mommy Theo fired the babysitter that helped bring Boston two titles after a million years of depression and people manage all the egos and craziness in the locker room. But when Mommy and Daddy spoil the kids with outrageous allowances, clearly its the babysitters fault.

Sox Nation, obviously, is not happy with the dismissal of Francona. Unlike front offices, fans typically hold the players accountable first. You can sum up how Sox fans feel with one photoshop.

Its not your fault. Its not your fault.

Meanwhile, as Francona is updating his resume and shining his World Series rings, the Sox are letting Mommy go out and date other people.

Then you have pitchers divorcing their cancer-stricken wives because in sickness and in health is more of a guideline than an actual promise, while others are getting slapped with child support papers. You have Big Papi admitting some of his teammates were lacking in the effort department (never good to hear when the payroll is a hovering around a zillion dollars) while Carl Crawful completely peed his pants while dropping a huge deuce on the field. But its cool though because he apologized for it.

Lets not forget that Theo spied on Crawford during the offseason, so theyd know what they were getting. Apparently, Bostons private investigators suck. We didnt know Lackey moonlighted as a detective, too.

And the only reason the Soxs playoff hopes didnt die sooner was because of an AAA catcher. What a farce.

Maybe its good the Sox blew it. Perhaps it was the necessary intervention the team needed five months off and away from each other. Maybe theyll grow up and mature a bit between now and then. Probably not though; not when Mommy and Daddy keep pampering to the kids every whim.

What a mess.

Hopefully the Sox hire a new janitor. Theyre going to need it.

David Ortiz has new interpretation of 'spring training'

David Ortiz has new interpretation of 'spring training'

Big Papi's "spring training" involves a beach chair -- not a baseball bat.

The former Boston Red Sox slugger made it clear on Instagram that he has no interest in returning to Jet Blue Park to begin training for the 2017 MLB season.

He announced in Nov. 2015 he would be retiring after the 2016 season, and he appears completely content with that decision despite speculation of his return to MLB. Ortiz posted a video on Sunday of himself in a beach chair reclined and relaxed.

"What's up [Instagram]. Oh, so good be retired. At the beach with the familia, the ladies. Big Papi in the bulding. This is my spring training. How 'bout dat? Enjoy. See you when I see you. Peace," he said, and then chuckled.

Ortiz's video came a few days after Hanley Ramirez said that if Ortiz made a return to baseball, he would be doing it, in part, for Ramirez, because they miss each other.

WBZ's Dan Roche then tweeted out Ramirez's comment on Thursday, and Big Papi waited no time to respond. Within 16 minutes, Ortiz had responded to reiterate he would not be returning to the Sox.

Wojnarowski thinks Celtics are perfect candidate for Jimmy Butler trade

Wojnarowski thinks Celtics are perfect candidate for Jimmy Butler trade

Most NBA teams would benefit from adding Chicago Bulls guard Jimmy Butler. But few NBA have the assets to acquire him. The most legitimate suitor in the NBA resides in Boston.

"The potential of a Boston-Chicago deal for Jimmy Butler -- I think it will loom over the entire week," Yahoo! NBA insider Adrian Wojnarowski said Saturday. "These teams have engaged on the potential of this trade. They have not gotten far down the road on it. There still needs to be alignment within the Bulls organization -- from ownership to management -- that they want to make the decision to enter a full rebuild.

He added: "But the poential of this deal really illustrates the State Farm right combo, because these are two teams that have exactly what the other wants. Boston has been hoarding assets for years for a couple of season, trying to get in the position to get a star player."

Wojnarowski suggested the first building block for the Butler trade would start with either the 2017 or 2018 Brooklyn Nets' first-round pick, which the Celtics acquired in 2013 in the Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce trade.

"And Jimmy Butler in Boston, paired with Isaiah Thomas and this Celtics team -- it would put this Celtics team in a position to seriously challenge Cleveland [Cavaliers] in the east, not only in the short term, but also in the long term."

Butler's contract extends to 2020, and then Wojnarowski explained Boston could then sign the guard to another long-term deal. In the meantime, he could help Boston surpass a vulnerable-looking Cavaliers team.