Fenway Park is a mess

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Fenway Park is a mess

By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com

Holy cow. Fenway Park is an absolute mess. Its like a frat house on Yawkey Way. National Lampoon wishes it could come up with hijinx as crazy as the 2011 Boston Red Sox.

Take, for starters, the story about some of the Sox pitchers, during their off-days, were drinking in the clubhouse. It would explain for a lot of the crappy outings.

Someone should tell the boys you need usually need to win something before you can start drinking in the locker rooms. Booze mightve helped the Sox the World Series during the Era of the Idiots, but booze helped crumble the Sox in 11. John I cant believe I have to deal with this Lackey is no Kevin Millar.

But I suppose thats what you have to expect when half your pitchers appear in a crappy country music video about loving beer.

Maybe they shouldve been listening to more Queen instead.

And who gets blamed for all this rabblerousing and partying? The babysitter, of course.

Instead of disciplining the children, Daddy Henry, Daddy Larry and Mommy Theo fired the babysitter that helped bring Boston two titles after a million years of depression and people manage all the egos and craziness in the locker room. But when Mommy and Daddy spoil the kids with outrageous allowances, clearly its the babysitters fault.

Sox Nation, obviously, is not happy with the dismissal of Francona. Unlike front offices, fans typically hold the players accountable first. You can sum up how Sox fans feel with one photoshop.

Its not your fault. Its not your fault.

Meanwhile, as Francona is updating his resume and shining his World Series rings, the Sox are letting Mommy go out and date other people.

Then you have pitchers divorcing their cancer-stricken wives because in sickness and in health is more of a guideline than an actual promise, while others are getting slapped with child support papers. You have Big Papi admitting some of his teammates were lacking in the effort department (never good to hear when the payroll is a hovering around a zillion dollars) while Carl Crawful completely peed his pants while dropping a huge deuce on the field. But its cool though because he apologized for it.

Lets not forget that Theo spied on Crawford during the offseason, so theyd know what they were getting. Apparently, Bostons private investigators suck. We didnt know Lackey moonlighted as a detective, too.

And the only reason the Soxs playoff hopes didnt die sooner was because of an AAA catcher. What a farce.

Maybe its good the Sox blew it. Perhaps it was the necessary intervention the team needed five months off and away from each other. Maybe theyll grow up and mature a bit between now and then. Probably not though; not when Mommy and Daddy keep pampering to the kids every whim.

What a mess.

Hopefully the Sox hire a new janitor. Theyre going to need it.

Pare 'brings energy' as big-bodied, sixth-round Bruins pick

Pare 'brings energy' as big-bodied, sixth-round Bruins pick

CHICAGO – The Bruins aren’t ever going to shy away from big, strong centers with a willingness to play on the physical side, so it was no surprise they selected big French-Canadian center Cedric Pare in the sixth round of the NHL Draft Saturday at the United Center.

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The 6-foot-2, 200-pound Pare was described as “a project” by Bruins assistant general manager Scott Bradley, who said that he’s looking forward to the big-bodied forward playing a top-six role in the QMJHL next season. Pare had five goals and 16 points in 64 games for the Saint John Sea Dogs before posting three points in 18 playoff games. Bradley said the Bruins hope to see more offense as he gets more exposure as a player.

“Pare is a developed kid that we got in the sixth round. He went to the Memorial Cup and we’ve seen good things from him. We think we got good value there,” said Bradley. “He plays with a lot of energy and I think his skating is undervalued. Over the course of the year he really picked it up with his skating, and his stride has lengthened a little bit. We just like that he plays with energy and he scored in the Memorial Cup despite playing a limited role.

“He was playing on the fourth line last year. I think this year he’ll be playing on one of their top lines as a top-six forward and he’ll get a lot of ice time...hopefully get some good development there.”

Pare indicated that the Bruins had shown interest in him throughout the season and he had an idea the Black and Gold might call his name in the later rounds. While there’s always room in the B’s prospect cupboard for a big-bodied center that plays with plenty of energy, it remains to be seen if Pare was worth using a sixth-round pick on when there are plenty of big-bodied hockey players out there willing to play with energy and aggressiveness. 

Bruins tap Maine-bound goalie Swayman in fourth round

Bruins tap Maine-bound goalie Swayman in fourth round

CHICAGO – It was thought the Bruins might swing for the fences with Boston University goalie Jake Oettinger, particularly if they traded down in the first round, but they ended up filling their goalie quota on Saturday in the fourth round of the NHL Draft at the United Center. The B’s selected University of Maine-bound Jeremy Swayman with the 111th pick in the draft after an impressive run for the Alaska native at Sioux Falls as a junior hockey player.

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The 6-foot-2, 183-pound Swayman posted a 2.90 goals-against average and a .914 save percentage in 32 games for a poor Sioux City junior team, but distinguished himself with his size, athleticism and competitiveness as the rare goalie prospect to come out of the great state of Alaska. Swayman was eating breakfast in his Alaskan home while watching himself get drafted by the Bruins. Needless to say, he was pumped as he readies for his first season in Hockey East.

“I’ve been working my whole life for this and just to kind of have the notion of, your work has paid off in a small area of time or a small trinket, it’s very worth all of the hard times and tough times, and kind of working at everything for it. It’s kind of a token back and just an incredible opportunity for sure,” said Swayman, who said he models his game after Braden Holtby while also envying Tuukka Rask’s flexibility. “I would describe myself as a challenge goalie. So, a competitive goalie just kind of fighting through traffic at all times. Being able to see the puck from anywhere on the ice, whether there is a screen in front or a point shot and, of course, a point blank shot. Again, I trust my ability on my skates. I have good feet. I can stay up longer than most goalies in situations where they would have to slide. So, I can stay up and cover more net on a backdoor pass, per say. I also like to cut down the angle a lot.”

Bruins assistant GM Scott Bradley admitted that Swayman wasn’t the first choice of everybody at the B’s draft table, but said the scouts were confident making him the pick after another goalie was taken off the board before him. There were three goalies taken in the fourth round, including Prince Albert netminder Ian Scott taken one pick before the B’s selection, so it’s difficult to tell which other goalie Boston had their eyes on.

Clearly, the hope now is that Swayman follows in a proud tradition of stud Black Bears goalies that include Ben Bishop, Jimmy Howard, Scott Darling, Mike Dunham and Garth Snow, and that the B’s have drafted a new goalie of the future with Malcolm Subban and Zane McIntyre in the AHL.

“He’s a goalie that [Bruins goalie coach] Bob Essensa had really liked, and had scouted him. Most of our staff was on board with the goalie. We targeted another goalie, but he just went before our pick,” said Bruins assistant GM Scott Bradley. “We heard good things from [the University of Maine] staff there, and we did our due diligence on him. We’re happy with him.”

It remains to be seen how Swayman develops in college, but the B’s hope it’s a steady, ascending development like that of McIntyre after they drafted him prior to his starring run at North Dakota.