CromartieHasselbeck: Use fists, not tweets, guys


CromartieHasselbeck: Use fists, not tweets, guys

By Mary Paoletti

Antonio Cromartie and Matt Hasselbeck are fighting.

Well, kind of.

They've actually got more of a he saidhe said thing going on Twitter right now.

While several people are blowing this and similar arguments out of proportion, I'm more of the mind that the whole thing is painfully dumb.

It's a Twitter fight. It is name-calling... on Twitter.

Yeah, Matt, Cromartie did call the union leaders "aholes," but he calls everybody aholes. He probably thinks his mom is an ahole. That daughter whose name he couldn't remember? Ahole: her name is Ahole Cromartie.

I'm pretty sure that he doesn't even know what the word means, he just heard someone else use it. Kind of like "CBA". You're right that Cro doesn't understand the term. But why even dive into that list? It's runs too deep.

Just don't engage.

But if you choose not to take my advice and tweet-fight anyway, at least take Cromartie's advice and be a man about the situation. Does that mean mounting and trying to impregnate it? No, that doesn't even make sense. It means that you shouldn't back down once you've shoved a guy; don't delete your tweets. I'd even take the thing a step further.

Fist fight.

Yup, holster your iPhone, kiss your wife andor baby mamas goodbye, and take it outside. I probably solve 90 of my own conflicts by proposing a fist fight. Sometimes, I even try to solve other people's problems by offering to throw down for them.

One of a few things usually happens.

1) My opponent, after carefully evaluating my obvious lack of physical strength, becomes so confused that the conflict is dropped. I win.

2) My opponent, after carefully evaluating my obvious lack of physical strength, assumes I'm crazy and the conflict is dropped. I win.

3) My opponent, after carefully evaluating my obvious lack of physical strength, assumes I'm kidding and starts to laugh. I win.

4) My opponent agrees to brawl. Turns out, my obvious lack of physical strength only hides my wily scrappiness. The conflict ends because I kick ass and win.

No. 4 has never actually happened, but I can only assume that I'm right about the outcome. (If you don't agree, we can fight about it. With our fists.)

Hasselbeck should have challenged Cromartie in the same way. My guess is that a combination of the first three on my list would have happened as a result. Either way, it would have been better than this back-pedaling, passive (then) aggressive nonsense that's clogging up my tweet stream.

Point goes to hockey.

Eduardo Rodriguez strong, Red Sox down Mariners for 5th straight win

Eduardo Rodriguez strong, Red Sox down Mariners for 5th straight win

BOSTON (AP)  Eduardo Rodriguez pitched six scoreless innings and the Boston Red Sox took advantage of a sloppy performance by the Seattle Mariners to earn their season-high fifth straight win, 3-0 on Friday night.

It was the third consecutive win for Rodriguez (4-1), who went six innings, gave up just five hits and struck out four while throwing a season-high 112 pitches. Craig Kimbrel earned his 13th save.

Rodriguez has pitched at least six innings in his last seven starts, going 4-0 in that span.

The only run support Rodriguez needed came in the second inning, when Hanley Ramirez scored on Josh Rutledge's RBI groundout. Boston added two more runs in the sixth, scoring on a wild pitch and passed ball.

Yovani Gallardo (2-5) took the loss. He lasted 5 1/3 innings, gave up seven hits and was responsible for all three of Boston's runs. Seattle has won just one of its last seven.

Meanwhile, Boston gave Rodriguez got lots of help from his defense. Jackie Bradley Jr. had a pair of nice plays, getting an outfield assist in the second and running down another ball on the warning track in the sixth.

In addition to the pitching miscues, the Mariners had all kinds of issues in the wet conditions, committing two fielding errors.

The Red Sox left 11 runners on base, leaving the door open for the Mariners to get back in the game. But Seattle couldn't capitalize, going 0 for 6 with runners in scoring position. The Mariners also left seven runners stranded.


Mariners: LHP James Paxton (strained left forearm) was slated to make a rehab start Friday night in Double-A Arkansas. He has been on the 10-day disabled list since May 5. He could be activated for a start at the end of the month against Colorado.

Red Sox: Infielder Marco Hernandez will be out the remainder of the season after undergoing stabilization surgery on his left shoulder on Friday. Hernandez was placed on the disabled list May 4 with a left shoulder misalignment. The 24-year-old hit .276 with two RBI in 21 games. ... A night after he left the game with left knee pain, 2B Dustin Pedroia was held out Friday for what manager John Farrell said was "precautionary reasons" because of the wet playing surface.


Mariners: RHP Rob Whalen (0-2, 4.09 ERA in Triple-A Tacoma) will be making his major league start since last season with Atlanta. He will be 12th different starting pitcher the Mariners have used this season.

Red Sox: LHP Brian Johnson (1-0, 7.20 ERA) will be making his second major league start this year and third of his career.


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