In case Maroney needs new career options


In case Maroney needs new career options

By Jon Fucile
Special contributor to

Everyones favorite ex-Patriots running back Laurence Maroney is in the headlines again.

It's Maroney is a Terrible Running Back, Maroney Traded to Denver as New England Parties in the Streets or Despite Open Lanes, Maroney Runs Right into Defenders. Again news.

No, this time The Little Running Back That Couldn't was picked up on drug and weapons charges. He swears he totally has a permit for the gun, he just didnt have his permit on him. It's kind of like how he didnt have his game on him when he played for the Patriots.

This does not necessarily spell the end of Maroneys NFL career, but it is not like he is overflowing with enough talent for teams to overlook something like this. Oh, and then theres that pesky personal conduct policy Roger Goodell is so fond of.

So how can a running back with super long dreads that refuses to actually play like a running back make some money outside of football? You know, other than the obvious Wendys sponsorship deal.

We have a few suggestions.

Disney just came out with that Rapunzel movie. We all know Disney loves money and sequels. Maroney could always try out for the part of Rapunzel in the sequel with his rocking hair.

Maroney could rent out his hair down by the lake this summer and let kids hang tire swings from his hair and jump into the water. It would be a blast!

He could revive the old TV series Pippi Longstocking or even revive the popular Broadway production as the star. People love Pippi Longstocking. Shes coming to your town!

Rodeos are popular in the south. He could move down to Texas and try to rope some cattle with his sturdy, long, luscious locks.

He could become a lawyer and always use the Permit Was at Home defense. Flawless.

Really, the options are endless for Maroney. Hes young, hes talent Hmm. Hes smarUm. Well, hes young!

And hey, Jerry Jones is always interested in projects that dont pan out 99 of the time. So if Maroney is looking for a new place to ply his craft and get back to being a below average running back, he could always visit Dallas after the rodeo!

Hardy: 'Celtics haven't reached that next level status'

Hardy: 'Celtics haven't reached that next level status'

Greg Hardy, Chris Mannix, and Glenn Ordway discuss what the Celtics should have done before the trade deadline, and what they need to do in the offseason in order to reach the next level in playoffs.

Highlights: Toronto Raptors 107, Boston Celtics 97

Highlights: Toronto Raptors 107, Boston Celtics 97

Watch the highlights of the Boston Celtics 107-97 loss to the Toronto Raptors