Brady vs. Ryan: a tale of the tape

Brady vs. Ryan: a tale of the tape

By Jon Fucile
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com

Hes at it again. Oh, that zany Rex Ryan. He just cant get the Patriots out of his head. Even when hes not playing against them.

Yes, sexy Rexy just couldnt keep his mouth shut. Again. And not just at lunch. He began launching verbal assaults at the Patriots before the Jets even beat the Colts. When asked about facing Peyton Manning, Ryan needlessly took a shot at Brady and the Patriots:

"The guy is tremendous. There is no one else like this guy in the league. Nobody studies like him. I know Tom Brady thinks he does. I think there's probably a little more help from Bill Belichick with Brady than there is withPeyton Manning.

Ryans obsession with the Patriots and Brady borders on creepy. We heard a rumor that Rex Ryan paid big money to buy a set of game used Tom Brady underwear and will disappear for hours into his room with the undergarments.

It almost seems like Rex Ryan knows he cant beat Brady in a playoff situation so has to talk about it out loud to anyone who will listen in order to convince himself. Right now Rex is probably talking to Sanchez about an elaborate plan to kidnap Brady Celtic Pride style so Brady cant play Sunday.

But hey if Rex wants to challenge Brady, fine. But putting our bias aside, who would really win? Lets check the tale of the tape and find out.

ACHIEVEMENTS AND ACCOLADES
Tom Brady
Three Super Bowl victories, two Super Bowl MVP awards, most career Super Bowl completions, fastest quarterback to reach 100 wins, most touchdown passes in a season, super model wife with a man face the list goes on and on and on. Like Rex Ryans stomach.

Rex Ryan
Won a Super Bowl as defensive coordinator with a Ravens team that couldve won with a monkey coaching, North American hot dog eating champion, holds record for most times stuck in a revolving door in a single year and was the inspiration for the game Hungry Hungry Hippos when a Milton Bradley employee got the idea after seeing Rex Ryan at Old Country Buffet one day.

SCORE: Brady 1, Ryan 0
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

Tom Brady
Brady is often described as fit and trim and has one of those butt chins that makes the ladies swoon. Rex Ry, um, some girls have even said Bradys face was chiseled by the gods themselves. Brady has been known to occasionally run laps at practice without getting winded or bend down without splitting his favorite slacks. Women have been known to get violent for a chance to get at Brady.

Rex Ryan
Ryan loves his wifes feet so much because he hasnt seen his own since 1962. People walk up to him on the street and ask him when the baby is due. At the zoo, elephants go wild and use their trunks to make whistling noises when he walks by. He gets winded while driving. Winnie the Pooh started doing his stoutness exercises when someone told him he was starting to look like Rex Ryan. Ryans physique can best be described as a combination between Orpah and Jabba the Hutt.

SCORE: Brady 2, Ryan 0

STUDY HABITS

Tom Brady
Rex Ryan has accused Brady of not studying hard enough, but Bradys record pretty much speaks for itself. From his winning record to his streak of passes without an interception, Brady obviously studies opposing defenses enough to completely rip them apart.

Rex Ryan
The only thing Rex Ryan studies is the Dennys menu.

SCORE: Brady 3, Ryan 0
ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF FOOTBALL

Tom Brady
Brady knows football. That seems to be it. Oh and models. He knows those. But he doesnt seem to have any non-football athletic accomplishments when hes not embarrassing defenses on the field. Rexy on the other hand.
Rex Ryan
Rex might have won 10 Super Bowls in a row in his head, but in reality hes actually a ten time Sumo Wrestling champion. He was recently banned from Japan because Japanese officials thought he was juicing his stomach, and said there was no way a man could be that out of shape naturally. Sorry Japan that is all Rex and your Sumo warriors simply dont compare.

SCORE: Brady 3, Ryan 1

WHAT ABOUT THE ANIMALS?
Tom Brady
Brady might be intense and mean on the field sometimes but off the field hes a kind, gentle soul. He loves all animals, big and small. He even loves farm animals and has been known to take in sick goats and nurse them back to health. Hes one hell of a guy.

Rex Ryan
Rex is the exact opposite. His hunger knows no bounds. Not even animals are safe. Were not talking about steak or bacon. Not even cow hooves in Rexs case. Rex Ryan loves to eat poor, innocent puppies and kitties!!!

Terrible. What kind of human being would do something like this?!?!
SCORE: Brady 4, Ryan 1

We could go on and on.

The fact is Brady and the Patriots do their talking on the field, while Rex Ryan resorts to name calling and publicly calling out his opponents in a futile attempt to draw attention away from that fact that his team really isnt that good and is lucky to be where they are. He can call out every Patriot he wants. New Englands track record speaks for itself Rexy. See you Sunday.

Pedroia doesn't have MRI, still listed as day-to-day with ankle/knee soreness

Pedroia doesn't have MRI, still listed as day-to-day with ankle/knee soreness

Three weeks into the season, health has dominated the conversation with the Red Sox. And it’s much more than just the flu.

A scheduled off-day Monday brought something resembling an update for three players worth roughly $63 million in salary.

Dustin Pedroia, Orioles peacemaker, was examined at Massachusetts General Hospital and remains day-to-day because of left ankle and left knee soreness. He did not undergo an MRI, with his condition apparently good enough that the team felt it was unnecessary -- even though the message delivered on Sunday by manager John Farrell was that the Sox wanted to rule everything out.

Pedroia hasn’t played since he was spiked by Manny Machado on Friday in Baltimore.

Pablo Sandoval, at some point Monday, was slated to have an MRI after spraining his right knee Sunday. A further evaluation is to come Tuesday, so his status remains unclear.

David Price, meanwhile, threw a 45-pitch bullpen at Fenway Park on his long journey back from a left elbow strain. There were simulated inning breaks and, naturally, what’s next is still to be seen. Facing hitters shouldn’t be too far away, Farrell has suggested.

Bills decline to match Patriots offer to RB Mike Gillislee

Bills decline to match Patriots offer to RB Mike Gillislee

The Patriots have themselves another "big back" option for 2017. 

The Bills announced that they have opted not to match the restricted free agent offer sheet that New England made to Mike Gillislee last week. That means the 5-foot-11, 219-pounder is now a member of the Patriots. Buffalo had until 4 p.m. on Monday to match.

Gillislee was reportedly extended an offer sheet by the Patriots that is worth $6.4 million and $4 million in the first year. The Bills had the cap space to match the offer, but with LeSean McCoy already atop their depth chart, the price tag may have been too rich for them to choose to hold onto the 26-year-old.

Because Gillislee was given the original-round tender by the Bills, the Patriots will send Buffalo a fifth-round pick as compensation. That gives Bill Belichick and Nick Caserio six picks in this weekend's draft: two thirds, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth and a seventh.

Gillislee joins Rex Burkhead, Dion Lewis, James White, Brandon Bolden and DJ Foster on the running back depth chart in New England.