Wakeup Call: Tanking? What tanking?

Wakeup Call: Tanking? What tanking?
March 13, 2014, 9:00 am
(USA Today Sports Images)

Here's your wakeup call -- a combination of newsworthy and/or interesting tidbits -- for Thursday, March 13:

BASEBALL

Ryne Sandberg is less than a month into his reign as Phillies' manager, and he's already sending messages to at least one of his entitled veterans.  (CSN Philly) 

Ervin Santana finally finds work after an offseason on the unemployment line, and all it took was for Kris Medlin to blow out his arm. There's hope for Stephen Drew yet! (AP)  

If Drew was a catcher, maybe the Orioles would come calling. (CSN Baltimore)

Livan Hernandez' official "retirement" -- another guy who "retires" after not playing for more than a year -- gives us a chance to resurrect video from one of the worst-umpired games of all time: Eric Gregg's ghastly performance in Game 5 of the 1997 NLCS, in which pitches a foot off the plate kept getting called as strikes and led Hernandez to a 16-strikeout performance. (NBC's Hardball Talk) 

The last guy I knew who used this phrase was Archie Bunker. (Yahoo! Sports)

The stench of PEDs may bother Nike, but not 3n2 LLD. (AP)

Pitchers' roll call: Cole Hamels feels better. (CSN Philly)

So does Jeremy Hellickson. (Hardball Talk)

But not Tom Gorzelanny. (Hardball Talk)

Nor Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez. (CSN Philly)

K-Rod doesn't feel good, either, but it has nothing to do with his arm. (Hardball Talk)

Repeat after me, Zack: It's only spring training. It's only spring training. (AP)

You, too Hideki. (AP)

Old friend Marco Scutaro's back is so bad, he may not be ready for Opening Day. (CSN Bay Area)

What's this? Pete Rose has found God? (Hardball Talk)

Don Mattingly will be away from the Dodgers until Friday because of a death in the family. (AP)

At last, a useful thing to do with a souvenir baseball! (Yahoo! Sports)

They may think Nolan Ryan's a god in Houston, but he has a warning for Astros Nation: I can't turn water into wine. (AP)

COLLEGE BASKETBALL

Wish the companies that have my personal information in their data bases were this careful in protecting their data. (Yahoo! Sports)

All it took for Wake Forest to win a game in the ACC Tournament was to bring Notre Dame into the league. (AP)

Georgetown probably wishes the Irish were still in the Big East; the Hoyas might have had a better shot against them than they did against DePaul. (AP)

Mount St. Mary's upset win over Robert Morris in the Northeast Conference championship game makes a lot more sense now, doesn't it? (NBC's College Basketball Talk)

Today's coaching casualties: Max Good at Loyola Marymount . . . (AP)

. . . and Tony Barbee at Auburn, about two hours after the TIgers' season ended with a loss in the SEC Tournament. (AP)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Okay, LSU: Lil Boosie has spoken. (Yahoo! Sports)

Jerry Sandusky still has someone who thinks he's innocent: His wife. (AP)

Brett Musburger is now the lead announcer on the new SEC Network, though he'll keep an unspecified role on ESPN's college football coverage. (AP)

Andre Dubose's career at Florida goes on and on and on . . . (AP)

Maine running back Zedric Joseph is arrested in connection with a fatal stabbing in Florida. (AP)

HOCKEY

Looking to dethrone the Blackhawks? Take some tips from the Avalanche. (AP)

The 'Hawks' response to their struggles this year against Colorado: What, us worry? (CSN Chicago)

It took until March, but Alexandre Burrows is off the schneid. (AP)

Concussions are allegedly down in the NHL this year. But you'll just have to take Gary Bettman's word for it. (AP)

Blue Jackets forward Blake Comeau is suspended two games without pay for hitting the Red Wings' Brendan Smith from behind. (AP)

PRO BASKETBALL

Tanking? Tanking??  What is this tanking of which you speak? (AP)

They aren't tanking in Brooklyn, that's for sure. In fact, the Nets' dominance of the Heat -- which continued last night -- makes you sit up and take notice. (AP)

Nor are they tanking in L.A., at least on the Clippers' side of town. (AP)

There's no tanking talk in San Antonio, either. (AP)

In Philadelphia, on the other hand . . . (AP)

On the other side of L.A., the hits just keep on coming: Kobe Bryant's done for the season. (AP)

Kobe, incidentally, goes down swinging . . . and that could be bad news for Mike D'Antoni. (Yahoo! Sports)

I mean, really bad news. (NBC's Pro Basketball Talk)

Man, who was that guy in Andrew Bynum's uniform against the Celtics the other night? (Yahoo! Sports)

If the Zen Master does take over the Knicks, their new coach may be Steve Kerr. (NBC's Pro Basketball Talk)

To steal from Robin Williams: Spending a grand on month on apps is God's way of telling you that you have too much money, Shaq. (Yahoo! Sports)

PRO FOOTBALL

Lovie Smith's from the "It's the X's and O's, not Jimmys and Joes" school, which is why he decided he could live without Darrelle Revis; he figures he doesn't need an elite corner in his defensive system. (Yahoo! Sports)

DeMarcus Ware and Von Miller rushing the passer together? Thanks a ton, Jerry Jones. (NBC's Pro Football Talk)

From Peyton Manning to Geno Smith or, God forbid, Mark Sanchez: Well, Eric Decker, I guess you know what you're doing. (Yahoo! Sports)

From the Seahawks to the Lions: Well, Golden Tate, I guess you know what you're doing. (AP)

Attention, Denver and Seattle: If his agent is to be believed, Steve Smith's a potential replacement. (AP)

Chris Clemons is following Tate out of town, though not by choice. (AP)

Pierre Thomas is staying with the Saints. (Pro Football Talk)

Ditto Jacoby Jones with the Ravens. (CSN Baltimore)

The Browns finally listened to that guy who called my friend D.A.'s overnight show and announced: "Brandon Weeden's a bum." (AP)

Rodger Saffold fails his physical in Oakland -- the Raiders say he needs shoulder surgery; he says he doesn't -- so he heads back to the Rams and re-ups for five more years. (CSN Bay Area)

Reliant's parent company has decided to slap its own name on the Texans' stadium. (CSN Houston)

Former NFL All-Pro safety Darren Sharper is indicted in Arizona on charges of sexual assault and administering dangerous drugs. (AP)

TENNIS

Andy Murray's out at Indian Wells. (AP)