The list of Best In-Game Dunkers in Celtics history isnt a very long one. In fact, it was a struggle to even come up with a starting five. But like many great men before me, I persevered and overcame, and now present you with the following:
Obviously, the Celtics "In-Game Dunker" starting five has to begin with Gerald Green. In reality, it should also end with Gerald Green. He is to Celtics "In-Game Dunkers" what Tom Brady is to Patriots quarterbacks. He's so far and beyond everyone else that I feel like hitting play on this video, tossing my laptop in the trash and never typing another word.
But I won't do that. Instead, say hello to the Captain.
Next, let's go with Ricardo Tyree Davis IV, aka Ricky Davis, aka the leader of the Get Buckets Brigade, aka No. 2 on my list of the best in-game dunkers in Celtics history.
Here's a countdown of his Top 100 dunks OF ALL TIME. And while they don't all come in a Celtics uniform, there are enough to easily justify his standing.
For No. 3, I'll give the nod to Tony Allen.
Important Note: TA's tendency to black out after an especially awesome dunk negated the time he blew out his ACL attempting to throw one down after the whistle. (I was going to link to that video, but I just watched it again and it's still way too emotionally scarring. Search "Tony Allen ACL" on YouTube if you're in the mood for a good cringe.).
Anyway, here's a glimpse of Tony, in happier times.
As we move on, the pool is getting shallow. Where else can we turn? Kedrick Brown was a ridiculous dunker prone to performing "Michael Jordan jobs" but he was never much of a factor. Dominique Wilkins was an all-time great, but not by the time his 35-year-old legs showed up in Boston. DeAndre Jordan puts on a show every night, but he's still no match for J.R. Giddens . . .
So, let's go with Dee Brown.
While Dee will always be remembered as more of a contest dunker, he was never afraid to throw it down during the real thing, and his skinny, 6-1 frame always added to the aesthetics.
Here's a grainy video (glittered with random outbursts of foreign commentary) to prove it.
Finally, it's time for No. 5. And to be honest, even though it's early, it's hard to ignore Jeff Green. It's been a real long time since we've seen anyone drop a hammer like Green did last night on Al Jefferson, and when you factor in the very similar embarrassment he laid on the Knicks during the pre-season, it's fair to assume that this will become a somewhat regular occurrence. Jeff Green's gone be posterizin'. And since I've been pretty hard on him this year, I'll be a nice guy and give him the benefit of the "in-game dunker" doubt.
Green's my No. 5.
BUT, at the same time, last night's dunk didn't come without it's fair share of typical Jeff Green head-scratching. Here's what he had to say in the post-game locker room:
"It felt great," he said, re: the dunk. "I mean, I have been playing a little lackadaisical as far as effort before the prior few games or so. It boosted your confidence up and it gets you going a little bit, so it felt good to get that to go down."
OK, listen. I don't want to be an a-hole (as KG would say) and suggest that Jeff Green might not understand the definition of lackadaisical. But either he doesn't understand, or he essentially just admitted to not trying very hard over the first two weeks of the season.
On one hand, that makes sense, because it didn't look like he was trying very hard. But on the other: "WHAAAAA!?" Lackadaisical effort? How does that even register as a viable excuse for not playing well? I don't know. I guess we can only wait and see what happens next with Green. Hopefully he can pick up a few more dunks to keep his confidence rolling and his effort in a non-lackadaisical state.
But either way, I'm spending the rest of the afternoon watching Gerald Green videos on YouTube.