Boston is the best... again


Boston is the best... again

By Justin Aucoin

You may not have known this but on Sunday Boston added yet another championship trophy to its award case. You may not have known this because 1) you lost power or 2) you dont follow professional lacrosse.

But on Sunday the Boston Cannons brought home its first Major League Lacrosse (MLL) title after an impressive 10-9 victory over the Hamilton Nationals.

We know the Steinfeld Cup wont be too lonely in its new home, though we are curious as to why its called a cup when its more like a spoon.

With the Bruins having brought home Lord Stanley we can only imagine the anti-Boston backlash will be stronger than ever. And since the Boston haters are always looking for new reasons to hate on this fine city, weve decided to help them out.

Here are other titles Boston have won over the past year.

Best at being worst dressed

Thats right. It takes a lot of effort and a huge population of hipsters to be named GQs best at not being able to dress well.
Boston is like America's Bad-Taste Storm Sewer: all the worst fashion ideas from across the country flow there, stagnate, and putrefy. To be fair, it's hard to be a fashion capital when half of your population is made up of undergraduate hoodie monsters, including those unfortunate coeds who don't realize that leggings-as-pants were supposed to be paired with tops large enough to conceal their cameltoes.

Damn straight. And thats just the Patriots.

We suck at dressing ourselves and dont you forget that America. If you have a problem with it, well, click on

Best at being meanies

A pair of University of Michigan psychologists named Boston the U.Ss meanest city. Boston residents instantly gave said psychologists atomic-wedgies and stuffed them in their lockers for being nerds.

Mayor Mumbles on the findings:

"I think look at here today, everybody's friendly here," said Mayor Tom Menino. "I go to all the events in the city of Boston. People say, Gee what a friendly city. Ask the cab drivers. They think we have a friendly city also. I don't know who did this poll. I never heard of it. It's one of those polls that some people I don't think there's any credibility in it at all."

First off, I dont think cabbies are a reputable bunch to call upon for character witnesses. Secondly, unless Menino met folks from the movie Pleasantville, no way in hell anyone in Boston said Gee, what a friendly city. Were pretty sure there were a few carefully placed f-bombs thrown in there. Thirdly, the folks who came up with this poll probably were Canadiens fans.

1 digital city in America

Little known title Boston took in last November were wire(less)ed up the wazoo. Said Mumbles:
I am proud of the way that we are using technology to make government more accessible to Bostons residents, businesses and visitors, said Mayor Menino. This recognition is an honor for the Department of Innovation and Technology and the entire City of Boston.
How did we become so technologically advanced? Its simple. We found the Borg.

We just hope this doesnt backfire.

Most innovative city in the world

Thats right. Boston is so awesome were even better than cities in other countries. Via
Inits latest index, Australian analyst firm2thinknowsays Beantown leads the world in relative performance in the global innovation economy. That means the citys actions to facilitate the growth of new industries are opening up a better economic opportunity for talent.

So next time someone complains about Boston being a bunch of educated, liberal northeast elitists be sure to tell them to 1) Suck it and 2) Yea, well, were helping the economy by creating new economic opportunity so, suck it.

Second most pot friendly city

OK, so we cant win them all.

But when your pro-weed group is led by a bunch of potheads, do you really expect to get the type of political pull it takes to win such a title?

Whats next?

So with all these titles Bostons bringing in we have just one thing to say:

Your move Boston Blazers.

Nash scores a pair of goals in Bruins 2-1 win over Islanders


Nash scores a pair of goals in Bruins 2-1 win over Islanders

BROOKLYN, NY – The Bruins knew they needed to find stellar performances somewhere in order to come out of a must-win game vs. the Islanders with two points, and they got exactly that.

Riley Nash had his best game as a member of the Bruins with a pair of goals scored in a 2-1 win over the Islanders at the Barclays Center that snapped a four game losing streak, and pushed them back into the wild card playoff spot.

It wasn’t a perfect game for the Black and Gold by any means and it was nip-and-tuck all the way, but it was important for the Bruins to show they could pull out those kinds of games late in the season.

Things didn’t look all that great early when John Tavares cut through the Bruins defense in the first period, and whistled a wrist shot from the high slot that went through Adam McQuaid’s legs before beating Anton Khudobin. The Bruins responded, however, on the very next shift with Nash stealing the puck from Scott Mayfield in the neutral zone, and beating Thomas Greiss short side for the important game-tying goal.

It looked like the Bruins had their go-ahead score in the first period on a second-effort power play goal by Frank Vatrano, but that was wiped out by a coach’s challenge that ruled David Backes interfered with Greiss in front of the New York net.

So the Bruins needed to wait until the third period when Boston’s fourth line stepped up and won the massively important game for Boston. Dominic Moore fed Riley Nash hustling into the offensive zone, and he weaved through the Islanders defense before snapping a shot past Greiss for his second goal of the game and his seventh on the season for the Bruins. 

NCAA TOURNAMENT: Gonzaga beats Xavier 83-59 to reach first Final Four


NCAA TOURNAMENT: Gonzaga beats Xavier 83-59 to reach first Final Four

SAN JOSE, Calif. - Nigel Williams-Goss scored 23 points while orchestrating Gonzaga's efficient offense, and the Zags finally shook their overrated tag by routing Xavier 83-59 on Saturday to reach the Final Four for the first time.

Gonzaga (36-1) has been dogged by criticism through the years despite winning consistently, in part for playing in a weak conference but also for never making the Final Four.

On the cusp of history, the Zags took it head on with a superb all-around game to give coach Mark Few the one missing piece of his resume.

Gonzaga found the range from the perimeter after struggling the first three NCAA games, making 12 of 24 from 3-point range. The defense, a soft spot in the past, shut down the underdog and 11th-seeded Musketeers (24-14) to win the West Region.

The Zags will face the winner between South Carolina and Florida in next week's Final Four in Arizona.

J.P Macura led the Musketeers with 18 points.

The Musketeers brought their turn-the-page jar of ashes to the NCAA Tournament, where they burned through a string of upsets to reach their third Elite Eight and first since 2008. They beat Maryland, Florida State and took down No. 2 Arizona in the regional semifinals, setting up a matchup of small Jesuit schools seeking their first Final Four.

The Final Four was the only thing missing on Few's resume, which includes 18 straight NCAA Tournaments, eight trips to the Sweet 16 and a third Elite Eight after surviving West Virginia's constant pressure in the regional semifinals.

The Zags struggled to find an offensive rhythm against the Mountaineers - who doesn't? - but had it flowing against Xavier.

Gonzaga came into the Elite Eight hitting 29 percent of its 3-point shots after making 37 percent during the season. The Zags found the range early against Xavier, hitting 8 of 13 from the arc in the first half, mostly against the Musketeers' zone or on kick-outs from center Przemek Karnowski.

Xavier got off to a good start offensively by working the ball around, but hit a dry spell and made 1 of 5 from 3-point range as Gonzaga stretched to lead to 49-39 by halftime.

Halftime did little to slow the Zags, who pushed the lead to 59-42 on 3-pointers by Williams-Goss and Jordan Mathews. Gonzaga kept the machine rolling in the second half, continuing to make shots while its defense prevented the Musketeers from making any kind of run.