By now, we've all seen the Robert KraftRicki Lander audition tape. And by now, I think we can all agree that we'll be hearing about this for a long, long time.
I mean, it's pretty obvious. Once Lander wins the role, and eventually an Oscar, todays viral sensation will be a piece of cinematic history. It will be embedded museums. We'll laugh at ourselves for ever laughing at it.
Meanwhile, Kraft will be the King of Hollywood.
The most powerful man in movies and the NFL.
Here's the video one more time: (Thanks to Barstool Sports for the original link.)
Bravo!
Just one question: What the hell is going on here? We need more plot.
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As far as I can tell, Lander's character (Mary Elena) is a part-time stripperpart-time senior citizen dance instructor who's run into some problems in her personal life.
Kraft plays one of Mary Elena's grooviest, most-happening students, who just happens to recognize her at the club. He's drunk and horny, and not at all disturbed by catching his teacher on the "job." In fact, he's into it. It only makes him want her more. And he'll stop at nothingnot even re-living the "most embarrassing moment of his life"to get just one dance.
In the next scene, Mary Elena's confronted by her boss from the dance studio (Lyle). He just heard from one of his other employees (probably Tina, Mary Elena's arch rival), that she had started dancing shifts at the strip club. He's basically telling her: "Listen, if you stay here, I'm going to fire you," . . . when Kraft barges in looking for pleasure. And the rest is history. Seriously, don't be surprised if "Nut Up or Move on" becomes this decade's "Show Me The Money."
And we can say we were there in the beginning.
Amen.
P.S. One of the most underrated parts of this video? Kraft actually connects on his punch at the end. Seriously, go to take another look. He really hits the guy. What a ridiculous move!
Just goes to show you how locked in he was to that character.
I mean, for a second there, I almost started to believe that Kraft was really an old, horn dog who runs around trying to pick up strippers.
Well played, Mr. Kraft!
I can't wait for the full release.
Rich can be reached at rlevine@comcastsportsnet.com. Follow Rich on Twitter at http:twitter.comrich_levine