The Red Sox are experiencing a rare gust of positive publicity this afternoon, thanks to the announcement that Pedro Martinez has re-joined the organization as Special Assistant to the General Manager.
For more on what that actually means, here's Ben Cherington, via the team's official press release: "Pedro will be involved in several areas, including the evaluation, mentorship, and instruction of young players in Spring Training and throughout the season."
Translation: Pedro's going to do whatever the hell he wants. He'll come and go as he pleases. He'll be great to have around, but he won't always be around. Bottom line: I highly doubt you'll see him sitting in Johnny Pesky's old dugout seat 81 games a year.
And that's fine. After all, that's Pedro. He did whatever he wanted when he was pulling in eight figures as the ace of one of the most obsessed-over franchises in sports. There's no question that he'll approach this new position with that same unique Pedroality. Personally, I'm already looking forward to team picture day, when everyone's waiting around the Monster as Lucchino stands in the corner screaming into his cell phone: "Where the eff is Martinez?! God damn it, Ben. I told you this was a stupid."
It's going to be awesome. Just the idea of having Pedro around, even if it's only once in a while, is going to be awesome. If he takes the job seriously, you have to think that he can make an impact. Who doesn't respect Pedro Martinez? Who knows more about the art of pitching and the mentality a player needs to be successful (especially in Boston)? Even if he doesn't take it that seriously, it will just be fun to have Pedro back in the mix; a welcomed diversion from the mess the Three Stooges have made.
Either way, it's winwin.
But here are three ways it can get even better.
1. Pedro needs to join Twitter. He was born for Twitter.
2. Pedro must insist that the Sox hold a special pre-game ceremony to honor the life and legacy of Nelson de la Rosa who was conspicuously and flagrantly absent from last year's centennial celebration.
3. You've heard of teams growing playoff beards, but that's played out. On the other hand, playoff jehri curls are an untapped commodity, and just what this team needs to get back to the top. And if they don't make the playoffs? I don't care. Call them "last place jehri curls."
As long as there are jehri curls.