Bobby V for A.D.

Bobby V for A.D.
February 22, 2013, 2:45 pm
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With all the craziness/ultimate nothingness surrounding yesterday’s trade deadline, I didn’t get a chance to comment on a major shake up in the NCAA’s Northeast Conference.

In case you missed it, the Connecticut Post reported on Thursday that former Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine has been named the new Athletic Director at Sacred Heart University.

Today, Sacred Heart confirmed the Post’s report today and announced that Valentine will be formerly introduced at a press conference on Tuesday.

According to university’s press release:

Valentine, who most recently managed professional baseball’s Boston Red Sox, will be officially introduced at 11 am. During the press conference, Mr. Valentine will laugh, smile and refute yet-to-be-made claims that he’s a fire breathing monster. At the end, he’ll stand up, join hands with the both the school president and chairman of the board, and pose for an incredibly awkward photo.

Moving forward, this will enrage some members of the university press. In fact, some reporters will be so personally insulted by the hire that you’ll have no choice but to assume that Valentine slept with their wives. These guys will want nothing to do with our new athletic director and take everything he says — before his tenure even starts — and use it as fuel to help drive him out of town.

Valentine won’t help matters either. For instance, later this month, he’ll tell a local radio station that one of our women’s basketball players “might be more effective if she lost a few pounds.”  This spring, he’ll host a pep rally for the tennis team and pronounce every player’s name wrong.

By the summer, it will be a disaster.

By this time next year, we’ll be introducing our NEW Athletic Director!

So please, join us in welcoming Bobby Valentine to the Sacred Heart family.

(NOTE: Following the press conference, there will be a sneak preview of the newest addition to the Sacred Heart TV line-up: Biking with Bobby!

In the show, Sacred Heart University athletic director Bobby Valentine will ride around campus in a bicycle built-for-two and pick up random students along the way. Once seated on Valentine’s bike, students won’t be allowed to get off until they can answer TWO Bobby Valentine-related trivia questions. Questions include: In what year was Bobby drafted by the Dodgers? What’s Bobby’s favorite Japanese city? What did Bobby have for breakfast?

All contestants will receive an autographed Bobby Valentine poster.)

Well, that sure is interesting stuff. Will be fun to watch it all unfold.

Rich can be reached at rlevine@comcastsportsnet.com. Follow Rich on Twitter at http://twitter.com/rich_levine