Chad Ochocinco, who changed his name from Chad Johnson in August of 2008 so that his surname reflected the Spanish pronounciation of his uniform number, has changed his name back to Chad Johnson.
(Pause here to reflect on the enormous absurdity of the above sentence and also to realize that we've come to accept news like this as completely normal in the case of this person.)
Ochocinco, who was released by the Patriots this offseason then signed by the attention-starved Miami Dolphins, was at Broward County Courthouse on Monday morning to return his name to Johnson.
Wouldn't you love to see this guy's "to-do" list?
1. Twitter stuff
2. Stop by Starbucks
3. Stop by IHOP
4. See if HBO needs me to do anything for Hard Knocks
5. Get to courthouse to change name back to Johnson
6. Twitter stuff (explain how name change reflects me being serious about stuff)
7. Don't study new offensive playbook
8. Tell someone new offense "nearly mastered, grasshopper..."
9. Call HBO guy to see if they need Evelyn for HK
10. Drive Prius around and wave
11. Be myself
12. Be myself pretending to be someone else being myself
13. Twitter stuff
14. Work out (tweet pics)
15. Editorial mtg, OCNN
16. Twitter stuff
Joking aside, it's worth noting that for all the fun had at Ocho's expense, the guy's heart is good, he makes people smile, and nowhere on the list will you find "Get drunk, punch cop, drive blind or pass out on sidewalk."