As readers of whats left of this blog know, from time to time I like to invite Boston's esteemed Mayor the honorable Thomas Menino on board for a guest column. And with his recent earth-shattering take on the state of the Celtics, I figured the time was right to reach out again and see if the Mayor wouldn't mind offering a few words on tonight's enormous game at the Garden.
As always, the Mayor abides.
But before we get to his inspirational words, I'd be remiss if I didn't note that his latest sports take has come with a little bit of controversy. Or more, one very interesting and important question: Is there any chance hes faking it?
Is it possible that he's doing this on all purpose? That he and his office subscribe to the theory that there's no such thing as bad press, and have determined that there's no better way to get the Mayor's name in the headlines than by having him repeatedly screw up the names of local athletes?
How is it possible that he's this ridiculous of a person? Was it not a little sketchy that he knew enough about the team to mention Avery Bradley by name (unprovoked) but can't figure out how to say Rondo?
Personally, I think that's giving the Mayor too much credit, but crazier things have obviously happened. Who knows? Maybe it's all a hoax. Maybe he's been playing us like puppets all these years. Maybe Mayor Menino is actually a British actor named Allen.
But despite all the conspiracies, I can tell you this: I want to believe it's real.
So until further notice, I will.
With that, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you today's guest blogger, the Mayor:
Thank you, Mitch!
And to the loyal subjects of this fair city: Thank YOU. Now in my fourth decade of serving the hard working and devoted indivisibles of Boston, I can generally say that our city has never been better. Never been stronger. Never been more ready and welling to tackle the obssicles of the onside world and announce to anyone who will listen:
We are proud. We are ressilent.
We are Boston.
And as I type, my dear friends, there is no better imbonniment of the values and montross of this city than our guardians of the gridiron.
The 17-time Stanley Cup champions.
The Boston Celtics.
As a lifelong citizen of this community, I have seen it all with this team. The umimagible highs from Russell to Hafflechick to Fred Auerbachs vickory cigar and the harsh, harsh lows. There are still nights when I wake in a coal sweat, tortured by those years under the beleaguership of ML Carson and Petrino oh the pain. I remember sitting in the Mayors mansion on that fathomable night in May of 2007, when destiny aired her ugly head and left us with nightmares of a future with Yi G.I. Jane oh the horror.
But today, that feels like egons ago. Today, our mighty Celtics are once again on the prepoziss of greatness. They are one win away, my friends. A mere 58 minutes from an upset that will ring blessully throughout the ages.
This team has accountered so much hardship on its path to glory. The loss of Seth Green. Of Shaquille ONeal. Of Will Cox. Most recently, the loss of Avery Bradley, a 6-1 combo guard out of the University of Texas who had developed into one of the premier perimeter defenders in the league, and provided a dose of grittiness, speed, youth and athleticism that had been paramount in this teams legendary turn around.
But like you, the dear subjects of this humble mayor, the Celtics never shed never. They refused to quit. And tonight at TMZ Garden they will take the heralded arcade floor with a chance to shock the world.
And they need your help.
So thats why Im asking you to rise up, Boston. I explore you to let your voices be heard! To stand for your city, your team, and most importantly your Mayor! To be loud! To be proud! To erase any doubt that Donk, KJ, Hondo and The Proof send King Rhames and company to insuffacable defeat!
If nothing else, you must remember: This is our town! This is our team! We are Boston!
Follow my lead, loyal subjects, and I promise you we will succeed.
I promise you that when the final buzzer sounds, we will join together in vickory and serenate the rest of the world with three simple but triumpherate words:
Let's go, Bruins!