As youve heard by now, according to a report by TSN, Tim Thomas might sit out the 2012-2013 NHL season. And while its still very early in the information gathering process, I have it on good authority that Thomas has already begun considering how hell spend his year away from the game.
And at this point, hes narrowed it down to five finalists:
1. Launch an Internet talk show called No Further Questions, in which Thomas will speak freely on the topics of the day everything from sports to politics to finance to weather before opening the lines up to questions from the audience.
But heres the catch: All calls are met with Thomas soon-to-be-trademarked catch phrase No Further Questions! followed by a dial tone and raucous laughter from listeners across the net.
2. Create a new sports media blog entitled Hacks at Haggs, in which hell dissect and eviscerate the musings of the Boston media, a la Fire Joe Morgan. Heres a sample:
NEWARK, NJ Adding another level of intrigue to the offseason of Tim Thomas, the Bruins goaltender is apparently considering sitting out the entire 2012-13 season according to a TSN report.
Intrigue? More like outrigue! Ha.
No explanation was given as to Thomas reasoning behind the potential NHL sabbatical.
Thats because Tim Thomas need not provide you vultures with explanation andor reasoning! That is my RIGHT.
CSNNE.com reported that Thomas moved his family from the suburbs of Boston to the Colorado Springs, Colorado area midway through this past season a departure after Thomas had previously made his permanent home in Boston.
3. Make a late run at the presidency: In this scenario, Thomas would run as write-in candidate for the independent ME party, and on the platform that: The Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People. The only thing holding him back is that even in victory Thomas would remain firm in his refusal to make an appearance at the White House.
4. Ride the bus all day in full uniform and pads, saving seats for old ladies. Every time one of them accepts a seat, hell whisper gently in her ear: Do you know that a billion dollar insurance company once paid me hundred of thousands of dollars to pretend to do this for five minutes? What a horrible country