The Beli-Ocho Show, and others


The Beli-Ocho Show, and others

By Adam Hart

Chad Ochocinco wants to join forces with Bill Belichick. Maybe. This tweet isn't all that detailed. But the inference is there:

"PePe and Bill EPIC."

Epic, like The Iliad and The Odyssey, right? But people don't write epic poems anymore. People make epic TV shows. And what better model than the T.Ocho show:

The Beli-Ocho Show

Belichick: . . . Offense. Defense. Special Teams.

Ochocinco: Aw, c'mon, Bill. Nobody cares about boring answers like that. How 'bout, "Somebody tell Revis I'mma drop a No. 2 on his island -- a flyover."

Belichick: Benched.

The Brady-Ocho Show

Ochocinco: Tommy, tell me how you bagged such a fine wife?

Brady: I can't take all the credit. It was a total team effort. Everyone just did their job. Really proud of the work the guys put in to make this happen. It was tough competition, but we played well as a team to accomplish our goal.

Ochocinco: Zzzzz . . .

The BenJarvus Green-Ellis-Ocho Show

This might have a hard time catching on.

The Moss-Ocho Show

Moss: After leaving Tommyboy, I learned I can fit more than just the Earf on my shoulders. Because the Earf is a winning planet. I can fit Neptune and Pluto on there, too . . . Don't get it twisted; I don't want to carry them. They're loser planets, like the Vikings and Titans.

Ochocinco: And the Bengals! Preach on, astronomer!

Moss: The Patriots are the Earf. I want the Earf back. Give me the Earf.

The Rookie-Ocho Show

Only way this'll work is if the Patriots land Iowa defensive end Adrian Clayborn, a bona fide tough guy. The first sign of Ochocinco getting out of line, and he'll have two monstrous hands around his collar, as this Wisconsin fullback learned:

The Mesk-Ocho Show

Mesko: I speak several different languages.

Ochocinco: I changed my last name to my number -- in Spanish.

Mesko: You realize it means, literally, "eight five?" Not 85.

Ochocinco: Yeah, somebody told me that or something. But Ochenta y Cinco isn't all that cool, is it?

Mesko: Mutters Nu, dar nici nu esti.

The Hernand-Ocho Show

Ochocinco: Look, man. My last name pretty much means I need to wear number 85.

Hernandez: And my last name pretty much means I don't care.

Ochocinco: C'mon, man. No, it doesn't. I had someone look it up; it means "Son of a bold voyager."

Hernandez: Whatever, you're still not getting my number.

The Woody-Ocho Show

Ochocinco: Hey! Where'd my co-host go?! Woody? Oh, Woooooooddddyyyy?

Woodhead: Chad, I'm right here. You've been using the same joke every week. I get it: I'm short.

Ochocinco: Hahahaha. Gets funnier every time.

The Ocho-Weather Show

(contingent on the Patriots actually bringing back The Great Misser of Tackles)

Meriweather: So what, um, do we do on this show, ac' like lit'l kids?

Ochocinco: Exactly.

Meriweather: Perfect. On Halloween can we go to a hunted house?

Ochocinco: Already bought the tickets.

Meriweather: Can I wear this hat? Dons on this fashionable cap.

Ochocinco: You have one, too?!

We have a winner.

Ramirez bothered by right shoulder more than last year

Ramirez bothered by right shoulder more than last year

BOSTON — Hanley Ramirez on Wednesday afternoon acknowledged his shoulders are bothering him more this year than last year.

In specific, it’s the right (throwing) shoulder that’s bothersome, he said to CSNNE, noting it just doesn’t move as he wants it to — rotating his arm as he spoke. Asked how that happened, how it worsened, he said it was in spring training that he thinks he pushed it too hard.

On the positive side, Ramirez said his shoulders are improving.

"Honestly, yeah, it's feeling better now," Ramirez told a group of reporters. "It's started feeling better now than early in the year. I can use the top hand and drop a little bit the head of the bat. I was losing that. I was talking to [hitting coaches Chili Davis and Victor Rodriguez] about that. I've got to be able to use that top hand. Like Jim Rice."

Ramirez, who seems to always want to be playful in his interactions with the media, appeared surprised to learn that he was not hitting lefties well so far this year. He’s 5-for-35 against them.

Ramirez was out the lineup for a third straight game Wednesday, but took batting practice on the field and also took grounders at first base. As batting practice ended, he spoke to a group of reporters coming off the field.

"What am I hitting against lefties right now?” Ramirez asked in a response to a question about how he was feeling vs. southpaws.

It was low, he was told. He waited while a reporter used his phone to look up the specifics for him.

“Is it really? So it’s not me. I've got to get going because I crush lefties. It can't happen,” Ramirez said in the group. "You're kidding me. It took you long enough to tell me that. I didn't know that for real. So OK, after this conversation, let's see what's going to happen now. I'll say it. Yeah. Bring it. OK? I didn't know, I swear. Interesting. Thank you.”

Red Sox manager John Farrell wasn’t sure if Ramirez’s struggles vs. lefties was related to his shoulders. 

“Because if there’s the need or the tendency for Hanley to start his swing early because he might not feel as loose or reactive, as he might otherwise, if a left-hander’s going to sink the ball away from him or keep the ball on the outside of the plate and that early commitment might cause you to pull off some pitches, that’s one possibility,” Farrell said. “But I can’t say that’s the absolute sole reason.”

The Sox still believe Ramirez is healthy enough to contribute well.

“Without being in his body, and knowing what he’s feeling, you know, if you watch the number of hours he puts in for the shoulder maintenance, that’s real,” Farrell said. “All we can evaluate is his feedback and how he swings the bat with either the plate coverage or the aggressiveness and the ability to impact the baseball. And there has been stretches of that. I think he would be the first to admit, would like for it to be more consistent.”

Farrell was asked a bunch of questions about Ramirez on Wednesday afternoon in the usual pre-game press conference, including whether he’s difficult to manage. If that’s the case — and it sure seems so —  Farrell did not let on.

"With individuals you take the added time needed to sit down and talk things through and get a sense of where each individual player is," Farrell said. "I wouldn’t say Hanley is different than other guys in that clubhouse."

Ramirez did very well in the second half last year and was optimistic.

“It's coming along,” he said. “I think second half's coming and I'm ready for that,” Ramirez said. “Just one click and you go from there. Like I said, i'm not going to stop working. I'm going to get hot.”

Hayward scheduled to meet with C's, Jazz, Heat when free agency begins

Hayward scheduled to meet with C's, Jazz, Heat when free agency begins

Coveted free agent Gordon Hayward reportedly has three teams he is interested in signing with this summer. The Celtics, as you might expect, are one of them.

The other two are the Heat and his team for the last seven years, the Jazz.

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Hayward is scheduled to meet with all three teams when free agency begins, starting with the Heat on Saturday and then the Jazz on Monday. His day to meet with the Celtics has yet to be announced.

All three teams are likely to offer Hayward max contracts, but expect the C's to push extra hard to land him as they attempt to "sequence acquisitions" for both Hayward and Pacers star Paul George.