Your Boston Red Sox are 63-75. They just completed a West Coast road trip that resulted in a 1-8 record, getting outscored 63 to 21 and their manager seems like he is either literally teetering on the edge of sanity or about to join Fight Club.
As a result, pundits and fans are calling for embattled manager Bobby Valentine to be fired immediately.
Can I ask one simple question? Why?
This teams death spiral is quite frankly the most entertainment theyve provided fans with all season. What fun was it watching the Sox when they were simply mediocre and inconsistent? It was just disappointing and aggravating baseball. Now that they have not only plummeted in the standings, but also become a national laughingstock, the Red Sox are at least providing a steady stream of unintentional comedy.
Look, I understand that the Valentine hire was a terrible one. I said it before; hiring Bobby V was a PR move, not a baseball move. Like many other decisions this team has made recently, this hires impact on ratings and media buzz was considered before its impact on the teams overall performance. As a media move, it worked brilliantly. But the problem was that they hired him to manage the team, and ultimately, they didnt even let him do that until it was far too late. Case in point, there is no way Alfredo Aceves is suspended and then forced to fly to the West Coast via the Ace Tomato Company when the mirage of contending was still visible. By the time ownership actually let Bobby manage, this season was DOA, team mandated hatchet jobs were showing up in Forbes, and a quarter billion worth of its former employees were posing for Dodgers photo ops.
So why fire Bobby now? What is an obviously temporary skipper going to do for this team between now and the seasons end? Get the players to give more effort? The fact of the matter is that Valentines crucible of suck has already told everyone watching which guys on this team still give a professional effort and which are counting the days till the off season. What an interim manager wont do is get into a verbal cage match with WEEIs Glenn Ordway and provide days of spin off entertainment. It wasnt as epic as the Felger and Mazz audio massacre of John Henry, but it was almost as uncomfortable. Personally, I give Bobby V some credit here too. If someone from a station that acted as the Red Sox radio version of Pravda suddenly asked me if I had checked out, Id want to drill him too. But then again, most Bruins fans in this town have wanted to speed bag Ordways melon for over a decade.
No, I dont want Bobby V fired. To get ownership to finally come to grips with how flawed this team was took last Septembers collapse and subsequent fall out AND this season devolving into utter chaos. We as fans had to suffer through every inning of this and we deserve the payoff.
I want to see Ben Cherrington drag Carmine out to the pitchers mound by the power cord and give it the Office Space TPS machine treatment. I want Scott Podsednick and Jose Iglesias platooning at clean up. I want John Henrys next fact finding mission to be to the American Dental Association to find out why John Lackey cant close his gaping maw. I want to read an article in Good Housekeeping that blames Theo for Terry Cashman and the Cowsills.
In short, I want a level of mayhem and absurdity surrounding this team to rival the ESPN Y2K This Is Sports Center commercial.
The bottom line is this team needs a come to Jesus moment and nothing turns your attention to a higher power like a dash of apocalypse. Much like the way the Bruins crashed and burned after the 2004 lockout, the Red Sox need to be forced to the realization that the way they have been doing business is flawed on its most basic levels. The sad thing is, with an ownership group this arrogant, rock bottom has to hit them square in the face before theyll accept facts. The Dodgers purge was a start, but fans need this lesson to stick with the Fenway Group. I think ending this season with an episode of soul smothering embarrassment will definitely leave a mark.
So, unless the Sox hire the Ringling Bros. Ringmaster who is singing the anthem tomorrow (I cant make this stuff up) to stay on as manager, Bobby V the best man for this job.
"This is what I chose to do," said Valentine yesterday on WEEI. "I think (this season has) been miserable, but it's also been part of my life's journey. You learn from misery."
Follow him, Red Sox. Follow him to freedom!