This might just be what rock bottom looks like for Red Sox starter Jon Lester.
Not only did the sometimes Sox ace once again end up on the losing end of a baseball game in this rocky 2012 baseball season, but Lester also cobbled together the worst start of his Major League Baseball career.
Thats no mean feat after previously toeing the rubber 173 times prior to Sundays debacle.
In just about every way Lesters 11 earned runs and four home runs allowed in four innings of work was the baseball performance version of a nervous breakdown. It left the 28-year-old questioning himself in every meaningful way, and it revealed a hurler thats at something of a crossroads.
Its not every day a highly accomplished left-handed starter gives up the most runs (11), home runs (four) and walks (5) of his big league career.
It pretty much describes itself. I dont need to have any words for my start," Lester said. "Its embarrassing. Ive let my team down a lot this year and its hard to walk around this clubhouse and look guys in the eye. I threw all my pitches. Im not backing down from anything. I keep coming at them and thats all I can do.
I have to rely on my teammates, my manager, my pitching coach, my catcher and keep going out there every five days. All I can control right now is my pitching.
Boston Red Sox
Has Lesters confidence been shaken by this dogs breakfast of a summer?
Its obviously not at the highest its ever been. The thing is that nobody is ever going to feel sorry for me, said Lester. I need to pitch better. Im not worried about my confidence. Im not worried about my mechanics. Im worried about going out there and executing pitches.
Im not doing that. I just need to get back to trying to keep it simple. I cant worry about the outcome. Its clich and it sounds stupid . . . but if I just get back to keeping the ball down, going up and down and changing speeds everything will be different.
With his record a subpar 5-8 on the season and his ERA a shocking 5.46 after Sunday afternoons 15-7 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays, everything is different for Lester this season in the worst way possible.
He was asked if hitting the bottom of the ocean means good times might be ahead, and perhaps there are still a few optimists out there.
After all Lester was still throwing 95-mph in the first few innings before Bobby Valentine left him hanging for the four inning beating. His cutter still has the velocity and action it has always featured, and his changeup is plenty good enough.
God I hope so, said Lester, when asked if hes going to turn things around. Im not a big fan of sucking.
Things started with a dispiriting boom for Lester as he attempted to help Boston avoid last place in the AL East. He opened the game by unleashing a 94-mph fastball in a simple attempt to establish his No. 1 pitch and Toronto infielder Brett Lawrie scorched the pitch over the Green Monster.
Lester seemed to lose all his swagger with that one big hit, and could be heard audibly swearing at himself on the mound when he walked Yunel Escobar following the solo homer. When the first inning mercifully ended Lester had coughed up five earned runs, and the Red Sox were once again well behind before things had barely been started.
In the ultimate sign of a pitcher gone bad Adrian Gonzalez smacked a three-run homer in the bottom of the first to get Boston back within striking distance -- but Lester once again gave it up in the second frame.
He allowed two more mashed home runs to J.P. Arencibia and Rajai Davis, and watched his ERA balloon from 4.80 to 5.40 in a matter of two innings. Valentine briefly got Junichi Tazawa up and tossing in the Sox bullpen to prove that the dugout-to-bullpen phone still works.
But the message was pretty simple to Lester: he was going to take a bloody beating on the mound and the bullpen wasnt going to bail him out.
Thats exactly what happened.
We didnt have much in the bullpen and he was going to have to give us some innings, said Valentine. We want him to get better. Hes a great pitcher and a great guy. I feel this as much as he does. Hes taking it tough.
There was absolutely nothing to feel good about when Lesters day was done.
He was booed mercilessly at Fenway by a home crowd that has tired of the mediocrity Lester and Beckett have been feeding them all season.
Dustin Pedroia gave him a thigh-swatting pep talk in the home dugout between the first and second inning to help him snap out of his funk, but it had zero effect.
Lester simply worsened as the game wore on.
This years struggles have put the lefty in a tough spot with a Red Sox team that has been amidst a year-long transition. The leftys old support system of John Farrell, Terry Francona and Jason Variteklearned baseball men that helped nurture the twenty-something during the formative years of his careeris long gone.
Variteks return this weekend for his retirement day was a stark reminder that Lester is now left behind with only Josh Beckett as his Sox sounding board when things break bad.
Thats not a reassuring thought at all for a group that needs more out of Lester if there are still any playoff aspirations at all in Boston.
His Sox teammates know the lefty is not getting traded despite rumors of unhappiness and interest from other baseball clubs. Lester is at an all-time low value around the baseball world given his struggles, and the persistent murmurs that hes unhappy in the only MLB city hes ever known.
Thats the wrong time to sell off an asset, and GM Ben Cherington is smart enough to realize that.
Were not going to win the World Series if Lester isnt himself and Im not myself. Hes not going anywhere. Hes our horse. We love him and Ill get behind him every day of the week, said Pedroia. Everybody goes through tough times. We all do. Hes frustrated: for as long as Ive known Jon every game that hes pitched weve been in it.
But Lester isnt thinking playoffs, new MLB employers or anything like that at this point. The talented southpaw is instead simply waiting for this season-long storm to pass, and for his long, lost confidence to be returned to its rightful owner.