By Mary Paoletti
Smack talk at the Ryder Cup! This McIlRoy v. Woods thing is getting ugly . . . I guess. For golf, anyway.
McIlroy, of course, is the Tiger Woods of the European Tour -- the version that's whiter than a Guinness plant's company picnic and the one that hasn't actually won a major. Still, the kid's a great golfer and quickly moving in the right direction. He's tucked two third-place ties under his belt in the last month after competing in the PGA Championship and the British Open, so of course his confidence is growing.
But how about this little pimp slap he laid down on Woods:
I would love to face Tiger, said Northern Ireland's 21-year old contender. Unless Tiger's game rapidly improves in the next month or so, I think anyone in the European team would fancy his chances against him.
BOOM: roasted! And it gets better. Woods's response to McIlroy's desire to face him?
"Me too," purred Le Tigre.
Whoa! Can you even imagine what might happen on the course between those two? I mean, it sounds like blood is a-boilin', so they might, like, battle beneath the rim or drop gloves at center ice or grapple on the gridiron . . . well, I bet their caddies will exchange some really dirty looks.
And it's great that Phil Mickelson has stepped in to try and squash the drama. Why so wonderful? Because Mickelson took a sneaky little jab at Woods by omission in the process. "Rory is as classy a guy as there is," he said.
Zing! Good luck ducking all this golfer gunfire!
I don't know, maybe Mickelson is just mad that someone bought Tiger's sex tape before he could. Maybe McIlroy is mad that he couldn't get Irish hookers to sleep with him if he was the owner of a Guinness plant. What I do know is that this could be the most entertaining Ryder Cup in the history of the sport, so stay tuned.