What's soft but tougher than Joe Thornton?

What's soft but tougher than Joe Thornton?
November 3, 2011, 5:20 pm
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By Justin Aucoin

Not often does one see San Jose Sharks center Joe Thornton say something worth quoting. Yet he let his frustration show after the Sharks lost to the New York Rangers 5-2 the other night:

"To be honest with you, they were probably the softest team we played against on this road trip."

The other teams they played on the road trip: Devils, Bruins, Predators, Red Wings and the Islanders. The Sharks won all those games. Clearly going 5 for 6 on a long road trip all over North America is horrible.

We can only imagine that Joe was actually referring to the new cashmere sweater Sean Avery will be sporting now that hes been recalled from the AHL. Regardless, the ever-quotable and easily riled-up Rangers coach John Tortorella fired back:

Joe's a heck of a player, but here's a player popping off about our team, and Joe hasn't won a goddamn thing in this league. He could go down as a player, being one of the better players in our league never to win anything. So what he should do is just shut up. It was uncalled for, it was classless, and I've never had it happen like that before."

Aside from the overused classless phrase that gets thrown around way too much, Tort makes a legit point. Joe Thornton has never won anything. Ever.


Of course, Tort meant Stanley Cups. Tort has one; Thornton has none. Using that as a measuring stick for whos tougher is the hockey equivalent of whipping it out to see whos manlier.

Still, Thornton has been notorious for disappearing from the playoffs all together. Nothings tougher than the Stanley Cup Playoffs so if Thornton wants to talk softness he probably should take a gander in the mirror first.

So whats soft but still tougher than Joe Thornton?

Snuggle the Bear.

That crazy Britney Spears kid. Whoa boy.

Ricky Glass DiPietro

Bulldog puppies.

A Sedin twin.

These two cake-sharing goons.

The Montreal Canadiens err the Smurfs.

The New England Patriots secondary. Too soon?

This Patrice Bergeron goal.


Phil Kessel.

OK, that last one might be a bit of a stretch. Kessels costume does look super soft.