By Jon Fucile
There have been various reports that Bill Belichick uttered some profanities after the Patriots beat the Jets on Sunday.
First of all these reports seem off because they indicate Bill was excited, which we all know is physically impossible.
Seriously, Bill, you dont look like youre happy. Show us your excited face!
Oh, right. Sorry, Bill.
Because we have to censor everything ever these days, all the reports quote Bill as saying S___ my d____ in the locker room which left the rest of us to ponder what an excited Bill Belichick might have said.
Sue my duck!
Perhaps Bill has a pet duck and was challenging the Jets to sue it if they hate losing so much.
Swallowed my dog!
Reportedly, someone asked Bill why he was so mad at Rex Ryan and Bill informed everyone that Rex swallowed his dog. Rex is awfully husky these days.
Shot my dog!
Look, Bill may be kind of a jerk in press conferences with his snarky remarks and one word answers, but he hardly seems like an animal abuser and we doubt he would let someone abuse his dog! Although, the way he always abuses the Bills and Dolphins does indicate his potential tendency towards violence against animals we suppose.
Spank my dimpled butt!
Hey, if Bill is so quiet in public he must have some kinky private life right?
Slap my donkey!
No idea what Bill might have been talking about on this one. This one is just weird.
Damn you FCC. Now well never know what he really said.