Welcome to Bruins hockey, Red Sox fans


Welcome to Bruins hockey, Red Sox fans

By Jon Fucile

We took Columbus Day off yesterday. Didn't you?

Well, in the spirit of catching up, we figured we would discuss discovering things that have already been discovered, just like Columbus discovered America even though there were already people here! There has been a recent discovery for a lot of fans in the Boston market.

The year is 2011. The ancient Celts have been mired in a trade embargo with the evil Davidus Stern and are unable to ply their trade for an undefined amount of time while the battle rages on.

The Patriots, led by Colonel Tomas Bradley and General Billford Belichik had a good 4-1 battle record during their new campaign, but had not won anything in years and were a second thought for all but the most dedicated fans, which is generally the case in this great city.

The Nation of Red Sox had recently exiled their chief and failed miserably on their campaign, not even making into to the preliminary divisional skirmishes.

The nation was fed up and needed a new force to cheer. They set sell from the Nation and headed for the fabled TD Garden.

When they arrived there they could not believe their eyes!

Only the finest warriors with bears and trophies as far as the eye could see! They hung the heads of their vanquished foes on the wall in triumph!

They called themselves the Bruins and after a vicious battle with an inbred Canuck force from the north, they had claimed a long overdue trophy and sent those over-matched pansies packing and the hero worship began!

We know this is new and scary and you jaded Sox fans may think you have discovered the Bruins, but just know they have been here a very long time and they are just super awesome! So welcome to TD Garden and we hope you enjoy your stay!