Tying the knot

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Tying the knot

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Millions of children each day are taught to incorrectly tie their shoes, making the transition from velcro all the more comfortless.

Perhaps you've always used the Reef Knot to secure your shoes. You're one of the lucky ones.

A leading world health organization has declared it far too common for parents to teach their children, mainly due to lack of patience, what Runner's World calls the 'Granny Knot.'

"Yeah, that's close enough," the grownups say, turning to more important matters like Facebook updates and slyly checking out that woman walking by in the toight jeans.

Simply put: the Granny Knot is an epidemic. But you can make a difference today by watching this video and spreading the good word of the Reef Knot, named after the Great Barrier Reef because both 'look better' than their closest competitors. The Kardashian Sister Who Had The Baby Knot would also work.

See for yourself:

The Reef Knot is endorsed by Olympic athletes like Lolo Jones and promises to transform one's feet into those of an angel -- wrapped in clouds and 3 Musketeers bars. So fluffy inside.

As is obviously the case, balanced and in-no-way-made-up journalism is important to WGS, which caught up with a Granny to get her side of the story. She offered this:

"In my day, we didn't have knots. They were called rope clots. It was the year after the Great Depression and a shoelace boom had consumed American popular culture. But as quickly as the shoelace phenomenon spread, the dangers of improper knot tying engulfed society. It was a different time back then. Cars were slow, the Moon was made of cheese and men played loose with their laces. ' Might I tempt you with a hard candy?"

No thanks. I'll stick with Kit-Kats and the bananas from Runts. Oh, and those little chocolate discs with the white beads.