Tying the knot

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Tying the knot

By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Millions of children each day are taught to incorrectly tie their shoes, making the transition from velcro all the more comfortless.

Perhaps you've always used the Reef Knot to secure your shoes. You're one of the lucky ones.

A leading world health organization has declared it far too common for parents to teach their children, mainly due to lack of patience, what Runner's World calls the 'Granny Knot.'

"Yeah, that's close enough," the grownups say, turning to more important matters like Facebook updates and slyly checking out that woman walking by in the toight jeans.

Simply put: the Granny Knot is an epidemic. But you can make a difference today by watching this video and spreading the good word of the Reef Knot, named after the Great Barrier Reef because both 'look better' than their closest competitors. The Kardashian Sister Who Had The Baby Knot would also work.

See for yourself:

The Reef Knot is endorsed by Olympic athletes like Lolo Jones and promises to transform one's feet into those of an angel -- wrapped in clouds and 3 Musketeers bars. So fluffy inside.

As is obviously the case, balanced and in-no-way-made-up journalism is important to WGS, which caught up with a Granny to get her side of the story. She offered this:

"In my day, we didn't have knots. They were called rope clots. It was the year after the Great Depression and a shoelace boom had consumed American popular culture. But as quickly as the shoelace phenomenon spread, the dangers of improper knot tying engulfed society. It was a different time back then. Cars were slow, the Moon was made of cheese and men played loose with their laces. ' Might I tempt you with a hard candy?"

No thanks. I'll stick with Kit-Kats and the bananas from Runts. Oh, and those little chocolate discs with the white beads.

Report: Aroldis Chapman, Yankees reach deal for $86M, 5 years

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Report: Aroldis Chapman, Yankees reach deal for $86M, 5 years

OXON HILL, Md. - Aroldis Chapman found a spot in a most familiar bullpen - a very rich spot, too.

The hard-throwing closer reached agreement to return to the New York Yankees on Wednesday night with the highest-priced contract ever for a relief pitcher, an $86 million deal for five years.

A person familiar with the negotiations told The Associated Press that the contract was pending a physical. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the deal was not yet complete.

Once it's done, the 28-year-old lefty whose fastballs routinely top 100 mph would shatter the previous richest contract for a reliever - that was the $62 million, four-year deal Mark Melancon signed with San Francisco just a couple days ago during the winter meetings.

Chapman was acquired by New York from the Cincinnati Reds last offseason, then missed the first 29 games of the season due to a domestic violence suspension from Major League Baseball. The Cuban was traded to the Chicago Cubs in late July and helped them win the World Series, becoming a free agent when it was over.

Chapman went 4-1 with 36 saves and a 1.55 ERA in a combined 59 games for the Yankees and Cubs. He struggled some in the postseason as the Cubs beat Cleveland for their first championship since 1908.

With the Yankees this season, Chapman teamed with Andrew Miller and Dellin Betances in one of the most dominant bullpens in baseball history. Miller was later traded to Cleveland, but Betances is still with New York.

Earlier this week, Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said the team was interested in both Chapman and fellow free agent closer Kenley Jansen. The Yankees had already made one deal at these meetings, signing slugger Matt Holliday, before paying a lot more to bring Chapman back to the Bronx.

Fox Sports first reported the agreement.