By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com
It happens in every epic tale. The goody-goody pretty boy, beloved by all but his enemies, gets fed up with being a sanctimonious and decides to explore their darker side and turn heel.
If it can happen to the Real American Hero, it can happen to anybody.
Question now is: Could New England Patriots patron saint Tom Brady be heading to the dark side? Is he turning heel?
Our first real inclination of his heel turn is when he encouraged fans to get trashed and party outside of Foxboro before the game.
"Yeah, start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy. It's a 4:15 game, a lot of time to get lubed up. Come out here, and cheer for the home team."
What a rebellious, anti-establishment comment from Captain Tight Pants. To cover up this huge faux-pas, the Pats PR squad had to lie err. explain what Tom really meant.
"He meant 'stay hydrated, drink a lot of water. Be loud, drink responsibly.'"
Of course he did. Cause, yknow, no one wouldve downed copious amounts of alcohol otherwise. In fact, this is usually the scene outside Foxboro.
But after Toms get rowdy commentsabsolute pandemonium.
We shouldnt be too surprised by Toms new partying lifestyle. Look at this animal in action.
Like we saida rebel. An animal. And now Tom admits that he gasp lies!
I don't often say exactly how I feel. And I don't often say exactly what I think.
No! Say it aint so, Tom! Anything but that!
This revelation just opened a whole new can of worms. How do we know when hes lying and when he isnt? How can his receivers trust his play calling when he could be lying to them at any moment?
Perhaps he learned to lie from the Pats PR staff. Or was it the other way around? Wed ask Tom but we obviously cant be trusted anymore.
So whats next for Tom? Do we just ignore these huge personality flaws? Do we ignore these vices? This is some serious stuff from Brady and it needs to be dealt with now. Maybe crappy cities like Philadelphia can embrace asshats like dog killer Michael Vick, but this is New England. We have wholesome Puritan values we need to uphold. We cant be having any ol soul drinking and lying or lying about drinking.
Wait What's that? Hes thrown for almost 1000 yards in two games? Crap OK, I guess we can give him a passfor now. As long as he doesnt turn full heal. If we see this, its over.