Things more painful to watch than the Bruins


Things more painful to watch than the Bruins

By Justin Aucoin

In a lot of ways this Bruins-Habs series is harder on the Bruins fans soul than the Flyers debacle last year.

Maybe its because its happening against the Canadiens. Maybe its because the Bruins are looking flatter than week old soda. Maybe its cause the Tin Man has shown more heart than this years Bruins squad. Whatever the reason is, watching the Bruins playing like drunken frat boys on the ice is absolutely excruciating to watch.

So it got us thinking whats not good but still less excruciating to watch than the Boston Bruins?

Three Minutes of Fame
In a lot of ways, the Three Minutes of Fame mini-game between periods at the Garden looks a lot like how the Bruins are playing hockey no real strategy, everyone playing tackle the guy with the puck, horrid passing.

Only difference is these kids are like eight and arent getting paid boatloads of cash. Theyre also showing more hustle.

Whatever the hell this is:

Question: Did Roosevelt run this race with a bullet in his chest?

The Boston Red Sox
And thats saying something since the Sox arent exactly lighting it up with highlights this year either. They just put together their first winning streak of back-to-back games. Yknow what? They still have more wins this week than the Bs.

Shaq playing for the Celtics
Statler and Waldorf say it best.

Every Friday parody out there
Seriously. The song sucked. The parodies are even worse. Just let it go people. Let it go.

Giving birth
The video we all saw in eighth grade was awkward and uncomfortable as hell. The real-deal isnt much better.

The Boston Marathon
Nothing says Im a lazy buggar like watching other people run while drinking copious amounts of beer. And watching someone poop themselves while running on live TV? Still less painful than the Bruins powerplay.

Lets hope the Bruins show some pride out there tonight. Ugh.

Celtics-Bulls preview: C's quickly turn page to new-look Bulls


Celtics-Bulls preview: C's quickly turn page to new-look Bulls

BOSTON – Change is an inevitable when it comes to NBA rosters.

Just as the Boston Celtics significantly altered the outlook many had for them this season by signing Al Horford to a four-year, $113 million contract, they face a Chicago Bulls team tonight that has also undergone significant change.

The Bulls traded away one favorite son (Derrick Rose) and went about adding another in Dwyane Wade.

In addition to Wade, Chicago also signed former Celtic All-Star Rajon Rondo to join a team headlined by All-Star guard Jimmy Butler.

As easy as it could have been to worry about the struggles they had in disposing of the Brooklyn Nets on Wednesday, the Celtics knew they had to immediately turn the page and shift their focus towards a Chicago Bulls team that’s looking to start its season with a quality win over the Celtics.

“They’re a good team. They have great players over there,” said Jae Crowder. “They’re trying to figure it out. They’re going to be very excited to play of course. We have to take care of business, play the way we want to play and impose our will even more.”

One of the keys to knocking off the Bulls will be to get better play from their second unit.

Boston’s backups were outscored 58-40 but more significant than that was their inability to hold off the late-charging Nets which forced head coach Brad Stevens to bring his starters back on to the floor with about two minutes to play.

Among the reasons contributing to the bench’s ineffective play on Wednesday was the fact that Marcus Smart (left ankle sprain) was out.

Remember, Smart has been with the second unit for all of training camp minus the second half of their 121-96 preseason loss to the New York Knicks.

Crowder believes not having Smart, who will be out for another week or so, was indeed a factor in the second unit’s struggles.

“They trying to figure it out on the fly,” Crowder said. “With a few days of practice and probably one tough day of practice without him. It’s tough but they’re figuring it out. There’s no other way to figure it out but in a game. They’ll figure it out as soon as possible.”

Ortiz wins Hank Aaron Award as top hitter in American League


Ortiz wins Hank Aaron Award as top hitter in American League

CLEVELAND -- David Ortiz is heading into retirement with some more hardware.

The Boston Red Sox slugger captured the Hank Aaron Award on Wednesday as the top hitter in the American League this season. Budding Chicago Cubs star Kris Bryant was honored as the top hitter in the National League.

The award was presented before Game 2 of the World Series between the Cubs and Cleveland. It was determined through a combination of fan voting and a panel that includes Aaron and other Hall of Fame players.

The 40-year-old Ortiz hit .315 with 38 home runs, 127 RBIs and 48 doubles in the 20th and final season of his major league career. His 541 career home runs rank 17th all-time.

The 24-year-old Bryant hit .292 with 39 home runs and 102 RBIs while helping the Cubs cruise to the NL Central title and eventually a spot in the World Series. Shortly after being honored, Bryant singled in the first inning for his first Series hit.