Theory: Lucchino has Henry duped

Theory: Lucchino has Henry duped
October 17, 2011, 5:56 pm
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By Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Who's ready for some irresponsible journalism?

Kidding. What Wicked Good Sports does isn't journalism. It's make believe. Which brings us to the following, "an interesting set of theories."

What if Larry Lucchino has John Henry duped?

Henry told Felger & Mazz neither "John, Tom or Larry" were direct sources for The Boston Globe's Inside The Collapse piece. He falsely cited reporter Bob Hohler as publicly ruling them out as his sources. Henry rejected the possibility Lucchino leaked personal information about Terry Francona. Then turned and said:

"One of the first things that I learned when I came here, Larry Lucchino said, 'There are no secrets in baseball.'"

Especially if Lucchino is the leak Roto-Rooter couldn't fix. And that can lead us to only one theory: Larry Lucchino has John Henry living in a cocoon of false reality.

But why? To secure his financial backing in a plot to wrest the Red Sox from Rich Levine & Co., of course.

Imaginary scene 1: Henry walks through the Red Sox clubhouse and raises an eyebrow at the empty beer bottles and grease-lined cartons of fried chicken. Lucchino corrects him; they are in the visitors' clubhouse.

Imaginary scene 2: Henry questions the exorbitant price of beer at Fenway Park. Lucchino assures him the prices are necessary to skirt prohibition laws.

Imaginary scene 3: Henry balks at entering a pact with LeBron James, believing he once heard Boston fans boo him. Lucchino hires an actor to play a doctor. It is determined Henry has a hearing problem.

Imaginary scene 4: Henry expresses disinterest in purchasing Liverpool because "Americans don't care about soccer." Lucchino, using a crudely drawn map, convinces him Liverpool is a town in Massachusetts -- seven-hours away via flight. "See, err ehh, Red Sox Nation, err, loves soccer or, ehhh, football as they call it."

Imaginary scene 5: Henry is hand-delivered his newspaper by Lucchino each morning:

Yeah. An interesting set of theories.