Team's losing? Sign some old players!

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Team's losing? Sign some old players!

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

The Red Sox lost yet again Tuesday night, falling to 2-9 on the season after losing to the Tampa Bay Rays. Luckily for them no one has noticed because the NHL playoffs are upon us. No? Eh, a guy can dream.

Anyway, after all those expectations, trades and millions of dollars spent on players the Red Sox are still failing hard. They're making the Pittsburgh Pirates look good.

Obviously changes need to be made despite the 151 remaining games. Seriously, look at the Sox record. No team has ever won the 2011 World Series after starting 2-9. Those are just the facts.

So what can be done? More practice? Meh. It is baseball. If you're standing around doing nothing right now you're practicing playing baseball.

Simply wait for the team to get their shi.... ummmm... stuff together? Psh. Patience? In Boston?!!? Poppy cock! You silly goose. Patience, ha.

Nope. The Red Sox decided to move in a direction that a lot of teams in sports go to. The strategy has never, ever worked but that didn't stop the Red Sox.

When your team isn't winning now..... sign players that used to be good but are just awful now! Obviously a player way past their prime is going to find their game again at the age of 50. Here are a few players the Sox are looking into.

First they called old friend Pedro Martinez, but he's currently busy touring with his band The Washed Ups.

Bet the Phillies miss him a bunch. No one ever told him his hair was way too greasy.

Then they called Manny. Sure, he just retired for getting busted using steroids or something again and would miss the next 100 games but that is nothing a little money in Bud Selig's pocket can't cure.

Frank Thomas got a good look. He was quite the hitter back in 1946 and the Red Sox sure could use his power hitting these days. Unfortunately Thomas has been hitting the buffet since he retired.

Although if they made him a catcher no one would get by him. Not even pie.

Boston was going to call Curt Schilling but he got a tattoo from the same guy that tattoos Pam Anderson and got hepatitis. So sad.

Shortly after he emerged from the doctor's office with a bloody sleeve and said he'd be ready to pitch next game. Then he didnt shut up about it for ten years.

The Red Sox also put in a call to a Hall of Famer and all time fan favorite but he was busy with his budding movie career.

Too much?

Heard that Reggie Jackson fellow is looking for work too. He's clutch. Heard he played for some team Sox fans hate though.

Oh, well. Guess we're stuck with this current loser team!

Freeman, Coleman lift Falcons past Saints, 45-32

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Freeman, Coleman lift Falcons past Saints, 45-32

NEW ORLEANS - Devonta Freeman practically wore out the Superdome turf with one long gain after another, Tevin Coleman wouldn't be denied near the goal line and the New Orleans Saints hardly looked like the team that made an emotional homecoming nearly 10 years ago to the day.

Cheers turned to boos, and many fans filed out early.

Coleman rushed for three touchdowns, Matt Ryan passed for two TDs and Deion Jones returned an interception 90 yards for a score to help the Atlanta Falcons beat the winless New Orleans Saints 45-32 on Monday night.

"It was real fun. Everybody was doing their job and everybody was playing for each other," Coleman said. "Everything clicked, and we got it done. It's a real big win for us to beat this team here."

The game coincided with New Orleans' celebration of the 10-year anniversary of the Saints' memorable return to the Superdome on Sept. 25, 2006, 13 months after Hurricane Katrina. But there would be no reprise of New Orleans' dominant and emotional 23-3 triumph over Atlanta a decade ago.

The Saints' depleted defense struggled to slow Freeman, who rushed for 152 yards and caught five passes for 55 yards. Coleman also was effective in the passing game out of the backfield, with three receptions for 47 yards to go with his 42 yards rushing.

"We have to stop the run better," Saints coach Sean Payton said. "They were over 200 yards in situations where you knew the run was coming, even at the end of the game."

Ryan finished with 240 yards passing for Atlanta (2-1), which did not turn the ball over and moved into sole possession of first place in the NFC South.

Drew Brees put up his usual big numbers - 376 yards and three TDs passing - and hit tight end Coby Fleener seven times for 109 yards and a TD. But Brees' tipped pass that resulted in Jones' TD return early in the fourth quarter gave the Falcons a 45-25 lead that proved too much for New Orleans to overcome.

Hayes knows he's a good player, wants to silence the critics

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Hayes knows he's a good player, wants to silence the critics

BOSTON, Mass. – There’s a long way to go toward a complete resurrection from last season’s misdeeds, but Jimmy Hayes made a nice little statement that he’s learned some lessons in Boston’s preseason debut. The Bruins lost the game, 3-2, in the shootout to the Columbus Blue Jackets, but Hayes scored one of the two goals for the Black and Gold as one of the few veterans in a very youthful lineup for Boston.

The Hayes goal was a nice give-and-go with Jake DeBrusk at the end of a nice transition play in the second period, and was the highlight of a night playing on the right wing with DeBrusk and center Austin Czarnik. The score and a team-high four shots on net for Hayes represent a good start for what he hopes is a gigantic rebound season after last year’s disappointment.

Clearly Hayes heard some of the unflattering chatter about him on sports talk radio and otherwise last season, and may even understand how his difficult season in his home city of Boston -- whether he actively expressed it to him or not -- might have been a factor in his buddy Jimmy Vesey ultimately choosing New York over Boston.

It appears the former Boston College standout is looking to change the conversation in Boston. 

“Yeah, sure am. I’ve got a lot to come out here and…[there were] a lot of comments about myself, but I know I’m a good player. I got to this level for a reason,” said Hayes, who dropped from 19 goals and 35 points with the Panthers to 13 goals, 29 points and a career-worst minus-12 for the Bruins last season.

“To be able to play at the NHL level and continue to play at that level on a consistent basis is what I expect out of myself. I do it for myself and our teammates, and to help our team win. I’ll continue moving forward.

“It’s funny being the old guy on the line. It’s nice to see those young guys and see how excited they are, and how excited I am to get back out there. That’s what I said to the guys, they still have the jitters and they still have them for the first preseason game. It shows that these guys want it and it’s been a lot of fun skating with those guys. They’ve got a lot of speed and to keep pushing the pace. Trying to keep up with them has been a lot of fun.”

There is still a long way to go for the 26-year-old winger, and his willingness to stick around the danger areas on Monday night was a welcomed one for a Bruins team that needs his 6-foot-6 body in front of the net. Hayes paid the price with stitches and a fat lip after taking a Dalton Prout high-stick to the mouth in front of the Columbus net that went uncalled on a Bruins PP at the end of the second period.

That’s all part of the big man’s game on the ice, however. It’s also the kind of battle and determined fight that Hayes will need to show much more consistently in his second season with the hometown Bruins if he’s truly looking to bounce-back from last year’s mediocre performance.