Sports reporting poems

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Sports reporting poems

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

SI.com's Truth & Rumors section had one worth investigating today:

'Chara's game compromised?'

By what? I wondered. The dehydration? The idea surprised me because the Bruins D-man certainly appeared healthier in last night's tilt versus Montreal.

SI was kind enough to explain:

Zdeno Chara and the Bruins chipped their way back into the first round, but an interesting subplot remains with Big Z, who in recent weeks has taken out two players -- one with a hit and another with a shot. There is a sense around the Bruins that Chara is bothered by more than just a virus. Montreal fans who tweeted his illness was "karma" will have little sympathy, but the feeling is Chara is mentally torn by the injuries he caused to Max Pacioretty and Ryan Callahan.

Rather than puke on myself, I scanned the comment section. And it's a good thing I did.

User 'Canuck eh?' wrote:

Hallmark's working on a card.Sorry I broke your neck,I feel really bad.Sorry I broke your foot,It makes me very sad.But stand in front me,And you may lose an eye.So get the out of the wayOr prepare to die.Love, Zdeno

Brilliant.

There should be poems for all sports occasions. Like these:

"Minnesota 'indeed' interested in McNabb'

Vikings are purple,
McNabb is blue;
Nobody wants him
Not even you.
But, wait! Minny's desperate,
There might be a chance,
Looks like it's time,
For their quarterback dance.

"Pronger's hand broken?"

Chrissy hurt her hand
Suck it up, you big baby
This is the playoffs.

"Pitcher accused of shoplifting"

There once was a pitcher named Leake
Who garnered the right not to speak.
Got busted for stealing
The Reds are appealing
Won't see him at Macy's next week. (Or ever.)

"NFL, players resume talks after three days"

L abor talks have begun again.
O wner Jerry Jones is joining the fray
C arl Eller and Mike Vrabel are also involved.
K ill me.
O nly time will tell when the 2011 NFL season will begin
U nless they can just bang something out real quick.
T his has got to be tough on Albert Breer.

Quotes, notes and stars: Pedroia was focused on winning, not streak

Quotes, notes and stars: Pedroia was focused on winning, not streak

BOSTON -- Quotes, notes and stars from the Red Sox’ 8-3 win over the Royals:

QUOTES

“I hadn’t really thought about it. Trying to win games. It’s late in the year . . . I don’t really have time to sit back and pat myself on the back for anything. We’re trying to win as a team.” - Dustin Pedroia on the importance of the 11-for-11 stretch in his career.

“It’s fun. It’s why you go to work in December, January, February. It’s all the work you put in up to this point. It feels good to go out there and get the results you expect to get, especially against a team like [the Royals] who is hot as they are right now.” - David Price on pitching meaningful games with a playoff-like atmosphere.

“Yeah, yeah we [knew about the streak] . . .  It was an awesome roll and it was fun to see . . . Every time I went up to hit, I let Salvador Perez know.” - Xander Bogaerts on Dustin Pedroia’s 11-for-11 streak.

“I think we’ve been able to handle velocity very well. We’ve got good bat-speed in out lineup, and we’re able to handle that.” - John Farrell on the offense thriving against good pitching.

 

NOTES

* David Ortiz played in his 1,000th game at Fenway Park, becoming the fifth player to do so.

* Ortiz also became the first player ever to play 2,000 games as the designated hitter.

* Mookie Betts scored his 100th run of the season off his 29th home run of the year, joining Fred Lynn, Johnny Pesky and Ted Williams as the only players to reach 100 runs before turning 24.

* The Red Sox hit back-to-back home runs for the fourth time this season with Betts and Hanley Ramirez going yard in the fifth.

* With his 2-for-4 day at the plate, Jackie Bradley Jr. improved to 34-for-94 (.362) batting ninth.

 

STARS

1) Dustin Pedroia

Pedroia finished 4-for-5, extending his streak to 11 hits in 11 at-bats, finishing one shy of tying the MLB record.

2) David Price

Price logged his fourth straight quality start with his six-inning, two-run start. He also dropped his ERA below 4.00 for the first time since his Opening Day start with Boston.

3) Salvador Perez

Perez finished 2-for-3 with two home runs. Saturday marked only the second multi-home run game of his career.