Sheen keeps winning; LeBron tries losing

400712.jpg

Sheen keeps winning; LeBron tries losing

Goal: Adam Hart
Assisted by: Mary Paoletti, Charlie Sheen
CSNNE.com

Losing

The greatest publicity campaign in the history of sports. Thanks, Charlie Sheen.

Location: A well-lit conference room in Miami. Dim lighting is bad for one's eyes. LeBron James has assembled his team of yes-men for a strategical meeting concerning his public persona. Commence eavesdropping:

LeBron: This Charlie Sheen thing is getting out of control. Guy is everywhere. The news, radio, talk shows, twitter. How do we get this kind of exposure?

Erik Spoelstra: By copying his schtick! Just start saying "winning" about everything.

LeBron: Wrong again, Spo'. What's that make you, 0-for-342 on the season? Chuckles No, I'll be doing the exact opposite.
Chris Bosh: Flops out of his chair

LeBron: Amazing idea, I know, Chris. And you might want to stay down there, because I'm about to blow your mind.

Fancy ripple effect to signify a shift to LeBron's plan playing out.

Nancy Grace: Because we couldn't get Charlie Sheen on the show, we have the next best thing: LeBron James.

LeBron: Thank you, Nancy.
Nancy Grace: Mr. James, we've noticed a sudden change in your attitude. What gives?

LeBron: Right, Nancy. Look, for years people have shamed me into trying to be something I'm not -- a winner. I'm fed up. Winning isn't everything. Yeah, I said it. I'm losing. Everything.

Nancy Grace: Fake gasps, shakes head disapprovingly. Turns up Southern drawl Mr. James, I don't know what to...
LeBron: A simpleton like you can't grasp it. But I lose so hard it makes the Carolina Panthers jealous. I tried winning for the people, being a super-human winner. Not-uh. No fun. Losing -- not trying at all -- is where it's at.

Nancy Grace: Sir, I don't think your bosses will like thi...

LeBron: I love your negative attitude right now. You like losing, too?
Nancy Grace: I beg your pardon?

LeBron: I just assumed that you're a loser. All the signs are there. I only came here because I thought you were one of the chicks that Charlie Sheen had a threesome with.

Nancy Grace: You get the hell off my show!

LeBron: Stands up, bows I just lost the hell out of that interview! CHYEAH! That's how you DO it. I'd like to see Paul Pierce or Ray Allen try to lose like that.

Security escorts James to where Spoelstra, Bosh and D'Wade are waiting backstage

Spoelstra: So, how is that going to help the team?
LeBron: Erik, Erik, Erik. Philosophize with me for a second. Puts arm around coach This isn't going to help us at all. This whole thing is going to help ME get more attention. You feel me?

Spoelstra: I honestly... I just... I don't think I can do this anymore. Puts head in hands
Bosh: Flops around on floor like hooked fish

Wade: Get. Me. Outta here.

LeBron: Guffaws like Bill Cosby I loved that commercial. But you need to embrace losing, my man, really roll around in it.

Wade: Looks down at Bosh, who is still flopping No, I'm serious. We just lost to the Knicks... we've got Orlando, San Antonio and Chicago coming up. Get me OUT OF HERE.
Location: A satisfied LeBron sits in his giant mansion, clutching a tub of buttered popcorn. Lights dimmed, he turns on the news, expecting to see wall-to-wall coverage of his awesome publicity stunt.

News Anchor: Libyan leader Moammar Qaddafi has issued a new threat. He says if the United States invades his country, thousands WILL die.

LeBron: Stands up OH, COME ON. WHA'DDA I GOTTA DO?!

Halftime stars, studs and duds: Rose looking like his old self

Halftime stars, studs and duds: Rose looking like his old self

BOSTON – The New York Knicks have been in a massive funk of late, something the Boston Celtics had to know which, not surprisingly, would result in them playing with a heightened level of desperation.

That desperation left the Celtics a bit exasperated at the half which ended with a 10-2 run by New York that put them ahead 63-54 at the half.

After falling behind by as many as nine points in the second quarter, the Celtics rallied to within a single point (53-52) following a basket by Isaiah Thomas.

The second quarter was all-New York afterwards.

It was just a one-possession game (Boston led 34-31) for the Celtics going into the second quarter, which was exactly where Boston didn’t want to be against a Knicks team whose bench ranks among the NBA’s highest-scoring second units recently. In their last three games, the Knicks’ bench has averaged 43.0 points per game which according to hoopsstats.com, ranks sixth in the NBA during that span.

At the half, they had 33 points compared to just 12 for Boston’s backups.

Boston fell behind early 9-5, but the Celtics rallied following a time-out with a 15-4 run capped off by a 3-pointer from Isaiah Thomas.

The Celtics’ lead peaked at nine points on separate occasions in the first, but the Knicks closed out the first with a 12-6 spurt that cut Boston’s lead to 34-31 at the end of the first.

Here are the Stars, Studs and Duds from the first half.

 

STARS

Derrick Rose

The former league MVP looked like his old self tonight instead of just old. He led the Knicks with 14 points on 7-for-11 shooting.

Isaiah Thomas

The Knicks had great success inside the paint against all the Celtics minus Thomas who did much of his dirty work offensively on drives to the basket. At the half he had 19 points on 8-for-10 shooting.

 

STUDS

Willy Hernangomez

Boston had problems rebounding the ball, and Hernangomez was the main reason why. At the half he had 10 points and six rebounds, three of which were offensive boards.

Jae Crowder

Dealing with Carmelo Anthony is enough to keep Crowder busy tonight. But he’s doing that at a high level in addition to providing a nice punch offensively with 14 points.

Mindaugas Kuzminskas

You may not know his name, but his game was pretty impressive in the first half. At the half, he had nine points.

 

DUDS

Al Horford

We’ve seen him air-ball a 3-pointer, miss a lay-up and strguggle to get any shots to go down tonight. At the half, he had three points while missing nine of his 10 shot attempts.

Avery Bradley (Achilles) will not play vs. Knicks

avery-bradley.jpg

Avery Bradley (Achilles) will not play vs. Knicks

BOSTON – Both New York and Boston will take to the floor tonight minus a starter courtesy of a sore Achilles injury.

For Celtics guard Avery Bradley, tonight will be the fifth time in the last six games that his right Achilles injury will keep him sidelined.

Meanwhile, New York’s Kristaps Porzingis will miss his fourth straight game with a sore left Achilles injury.

The 7-foot-3 Porzingis averages 19.4 points, 7.4 rebounds and 1.4 assists per game.

Porzingis’ absence tonight was established well before tip-off.

“I’d say I’m 90 percent ready; still not there yet,” Porzingis told reporters prior to the game. “But I’m getting closer … hopefully the next game or after the next game.”

As far as Bradley is concerned, he was a last-minute matter.

Celtics head coach Brad Stevens was asked about his roster earlier tonight, and indicated Tyler Zeller (sinus) and James Young (ankle) would be on the inactive list tonight with injuries.

Without Bradley, the Celtics are expected to start Marcus Smart who has filled in as the team’s starter previously when the 6-foot-2 Bradley was unavailable.

 Bradley is the Celtics' second-leading scorer with 17.7 points per game this season, along with a team-high 6.9 rebounds per game and 2.4 assists.