By Adam Hart
Friday Jan. 14, 2011
Ha. Ha. Ha. So funny.
Wes Welker made reference to feet ten times yesterday. Oh, he's hilarious.
But I don't blame Welker. Why, you ask? (Even though you're a diary and you can't physically ask a question, unless you're haunted.) Because that expletive Belichick is behind this. I can smell it from here, like a firm pair of slightly-sweaty -- expletive, I can't help myself.
A lot of people think Belichick lost his funny bone in a tragic accident at the age of nine. Wrong. This cryptic, subtle "humor" is right up his boring-expletive alley.
The Patriots think they're having the last laugh. Expletive, do they have another thing coming. I'mma blame this on Brady. That long-haired, supermodel-wife-having expletive won't have any choice but to throw to Welker all night. He can't resist trying to rub it in our faces, like a beautiful pair of soft -- expletive, there I go again!
Point is, Welker's going to be stranded on Revis Island. That means it's mother-expletive Pick City for us. It's all too expletive easy. Game over.
. . . Know what? This is the first time all week I've spent game planning. Feels kind of nice, like the gentle rub of another's foot against my leg.
Expletive it; I give up trying to hide it. I'm not going to stop loving what I love.